How to Refresh a Stale Relationship

March 9, 2010
Author: KLTBrown
If you’ve ever been in a stale relationship you know how draining it can be to try to breath life into it just to watch the air go out the other end.  For those who are serious about refreshing their relationship and are willing to make the necessary sacrifices to get it going again, here are some tips and relationship advice that will make the job of refreshing a stale relationship a little easier.

  • Step 1: Rekindle your imagination and spend time reminiscing about how you met, what you used to do together, and the fun ,enjoyable times you shared together.   To help, try watching old videos or looking through old photos. These can often help you remember special times and events.  The idea is to rekindle the same feelings you had when you were initially attracted to each other.
  • Step 2: Take an adventure together. Try exploring a new city That neither of you are familiar with.  You can even visit a new country where neither of you speaks the language. This will force you to use teamwork to communicate and the experience can make you realize how much you rely on one another and value the relationship.
  • Step 3: Expand your education. Learn something new. Take a course like cooking, photography or martial arts. Take up a new sport like bowling or tennis or maybe even ballroom dancing. Maybe even learn a new language. Whatever you decide on, do it together.  Study together, practice together.
  • Step 4: Focus on developing the art of communication. Learn conversation starters like, “I feel,” “I love it when” or “I’ve always dreamed about.” Set aside time for making statements and discussing the feelings that they inspire. Discuss any hurt feelings, problems or resentment that’s negatively impacting the relationship. Eliminate distractions and really listen to what the other person is saying.
  • Step 5: Sharing is caring! Share your interests with your partner and be willing to get excited about the things they are excited about an passionate about the things they are passionate about.  It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing, just a way to get a peek into each other’s pastimes.
  • Step 6: Spend quality time? Take the time to refresh your connection.  Eliminate distractions and interruptions and get to know each other again as people rather than their role ie.  “mom” and “dad”, “Husband” and “wife”, “girlfriend” and “boyfriend”.

    Take these five steps and you will be quickly on the road to a refreshed and revived relationship.

If you feel you are in a loveless marriage or your marriage has gone flat,  you may need some marriage advice on “How to get your husband to fall in love with you again? I’ll address some quick ways and sure tips that can help you win back the love of your husband.

1) If you feel you are in a “loveless marriage”, don’t assume too quickly that your husband doesn’t love you. He probably still does.  I found this quote that is often very true  “Falling out of love is a term that is often applied to hum-drum marriages but what it frequently means from the man’s point of view is that he has fallen out of love with the way the marriage is going.” He may have distanced himself from you because he was unhappy but couldn’t offer a more detailed explanation for his feelings.

2) Many men have a hard time accurately interpreting and communicating their feelings.  Even if they can’t communicate it effectively, what they often feel is that the relationship no longer makes them feel good about themselves anymore. At the beginning of your relationship, you both put your best foot forward and spent a lot of time and effort into making the other person feel good about you and about themselves. Go back to that mindset and do what you can do to recreate that environment.

3) Most relationships become stronger when both you and your partner  feel wanted, important, appreciated, interesting and competent, just to name a few. For men, these feelings are what makes him feel like he is in love. So, it’s important to understand that when he says (or you think) he doesn’t love you anymore, that might not be true. It’s very likely that he’s actually mourning the loss of the relationship that made him feel so great about himself.

4)  Tell your husband that you are feeling a distance in your marriage and let him know that you miss the closeness and intimacy that you once enjoyed.  Ask him if he wants to improve your marriage and let him know that it’s your desire too.   The goal here is to communicate your desire to your husband.

5) Identify the things that you miss the most in your relationship. If its the affection, then show more affection to your husband. If its appreciation, let him know you appreciate him first. Take the first steps and you’ll be surprised how he responds.  In the beginning he may look at you funny or totally reject your attempts. Don’t give up! In time you will have found the answer to “How to get your husband to fall in love with you again?”

5 Tips To Prevent Marriages From Ending In Divorce

February 22, 2010
Author: KLTBrown

Understanding why marriages fail can alert couples to their own unique relationship vulnerabilities. The more information you have to help you identify potential marriage problems the easier it will be to address them.

Here are five reasons marriages fail and 5 marriage tips to prevent your marriage from going down the same road.

1. Some  marriages fail because  they  started for the wrong reasons. Therefore,  for this marriage to survive, you must learn to separate the person you married from the reasons you married him/her. You must focus on breaking the negative associations and see the person you now call “husband” or “wife” for who they really are.

2. Some couples have grown apart over the years and they no longer share any common interests. Therefore, you must make the commitment to keep your marriage/relationship a priority and not let life and competing priorities  get between you and your spouse.

3. Unresolved conflicts and deep emotional wounds can shatter the fabric of your union. Therefore, you must be bold enough to have those uncomfortable discussions to make sure important issues are resolved before they go underground and begin to fester. Seek professional help if necessary to keep things moving in the right direction.

4. One or both parties can unconsciously repeat unhealthy relationship patterns derived from their family-of-origin. Reflect on your parents and their relationship and decide you want to be different from them in your role as a husband/wife or partner. Each day make a conscious effort to stop negative family-of-origin patterns.

5.  The marriage or relationship can be built upon unreal expectations that cannot support the realities of a committed relationship. Therefore, we must examine the expectations you hold about marriage and share this with your spouse.  We must take every opportunity to discuss any differences in perspective that may exist between you. In addition,  we should take a close look to determine which expectations feel realistic and which are likely to buckle under the day-to-day realities of life.

The above list captures some of the most common, essential reasons marriage problems arise and the preventative measures needed to keep your marriage or relationship healthy.

When To Start Dating Again

February 20, 2010
Author: KLTBrown

How long do you think a person should wait to start dating after ending a longterm (over 2 yrs) relationship? Should they wait 3 months? 6 months? Should they even wait at all? Would it depend on if they are looking for something long term or a one nightstand? How soon is too soon? Maybe it depends on why the prior relationship ended? Looking for answers to these tough questions? Follow this link to www.prelationship.com to get expert dating advice from around the web.

Remember, there are no set rules on the time when a person should move on in my opinion. I think it depends on the person. Everyone is different.  People should not judge others and let folks be themselves when they decide. I believe in encouragement or positive feedback on taking time to heal but I think ultimately individuals should do what they want in order to be happy or to simply learn a valuable lesson for their future. My recommendation is to give “time” time. Give it time & heal. Some people can move on faster than others.

If you were in love with the person at the time of the break up - then you definitely need to wait until you can safely say you are free in your heart. Jumping into something new will only hurt the next person and that’s just not right. Then again, it also depends on how and why the prior relationship ended.  It could have been a long time coming and if you’re ready who’s to say what’s a good time for you. Again, just make sure you are healed.

I would say that there is no set time frame to wait.  Love has a funny way of knocking on your door so for that reason I simply say take it one day at a time and let your next relationship come to you. When it happens you will know if it’s the right time or not.

How to Date a Friend with Benefits

February 19, 2010
Author: David

People frequently get themselves into sticky situations where feelings run riot and people get caught up, in a world of emotion and sometimes potential hurt or heartbreak. I’m assuming if you’re reading this that you’re involved in a “friends with benefits” situation that you’d like to change. Perhaps you’re reading to find a way of turning that friend with benefits into more. It’s understandable; people need people, and intimacy is desired by even the most recluse…This article was written by David of Dating Nation - a home for expert dating advice from around the web. If you’re looking to turn that friend with benefits into a long lasting, loving relationship but they just aren’t buying it, read further into this article and discover how to date a friend with benefits.

Do You Want to Date Them in The First Place?

Do you actually want this person in the first place? In seriousness it’s best to look before you leap when your heart’s at stake (although just between you and I, sometimes not looking can be pretty fun!). You should ask yourself whether you really want THIS PERSON for more, or whether you’re just looking to feel more fulfilled emotionally. Is it this person you want, are they right for you, or are you simply craving feelings which they’re simply not supplying right now? Do you want the feelings, or the person along with them?

How to Get Them to Want More - Think About Their Feelings

Studies throughout history have shown that people are emotionally driven. In fact, some really clever people have actually put a figure on it - people make decisions on a emotional basis (around 90% is based on emotion), whilst only 10% of typical decision making is based on logic. The good thing about emotions though, is that they’re almost always subject to change. A person’s feelings and viewpoints today might be completely different tomorrow. If you’re in any way close to a person or even in slight rapport you have the ability to influence and change a person’s feelings and viewpoints.

In order to change a person’s feelings and viewpoints you first need to consider what they need to feel in order to see you as “the right one to settle with”. Notice I said consider what they need to FEEL. What would need to happen in order for them to want to settle down? Which emotions would they need to feel and experience in order to think that they’d want to be more than friends with benefits with you? If you don’t know, try asking them!

Some People Just Aren’t Worth The Hassle

Even if you’ve gone to all the trouble of asking them how they need to feel; even if you’ve gone to all the trouble of helping them experience the emotions they need to feel in order to take your relationship further, and even if they’re experiencing the needed emotions fully, there are some people who simply don’t want to settle down just yet. There are reasons and circumstances beyond control of emotion and feeling, and likewise there are stronger emotions that people may feel they need to follow before biting the bullet and settling down with someone awesome like yourself. Sometimes it’s just better to let go and fly.

Conclusion

This article is a teaser; a tiny taste of things more succulent to come. There’s a place out there called Dating Nation - a place where witty and experienced minds come together to bring you the best dating and self help advice from around the web. Click through to read more, learn the secrets of seduction, learn how to get your ex back and such like.

How To Get Over A Breakup When You Have To Let Go

February 2, 2010
Author: KLTBrown

How do you stop loving someone who you are DEEPLY in love with, but for various reasons the relationship doesn’t work. You love them but you can’t be with them? How do you turn off your emotions? Especially when you have to see this person everyday, Here’s some breakup advice that will help you get over it and move on.

It’s obvious that you must limit your interaction with this person. NO more phone calls. With time, any emotional attachment and feelings will subside after a while. Detach yourself from the delusion first. You need to come to realization that you two can’t be together. Not sure why you got yourself in this situation to begin with, BUT you’re there, so how you do release yourself from a painful reality?

First remove all things that remind you of this person; any pictures, phone messages, text messages etc.. If  you see this person daily at work for instance, walk the other way. Keep it professional no matter how hard it is. Concentrate and utilize mind over matter.

Remember, it’s never easy to turn your emotions off. You can’t help it. Start filling that void with something else to occupy your time. Don’t read a book, its useless. You’re not gonna be able to concentrate.  Go out and be amongst your friends.

Because you are “Deeply” in love, sex probably played a factor. Needless to say you must show restraint. Don’t continue to have sex anymore. You have to be strong.  Understand you are only setting yourself up to get hurt. You have to take the first step if you don’t want to feel this yearning and desire anymore. Only you have control over your feelings and emotions. Don’t look to the person you are dealing with to help you with this.

But if you are seeing a married man-STOP NOW! Do yourself a favor. He is not gonna leave his wife. Don’t get caught up. You know better. If you are married, same advice. I hope your spouse doesn’t find out. But seriously, you must find a way to detach yourself.

Personally, you will be fine. Forgive yourself and love yourself enough not to get caught up in a situation like this again. The healing process is not gonna be easy.  Have patience. Don’t be too hard on yourself but get out now. Save your sanity and your dignity. Find someone you can be with without stipulations.

7 Signs That your Relationship is Over

January 27, 2010
Author: KLTBrown

So many people are in relationships that have gone bad but instead of breaking up, dealing with reality and moving on they stay  in the relationship trying to salvage what they can. This is simply because they refuse to acknowledge the signs that the relationship is over.  Here’s some quick breakup advice for those in this situation. Here are some signs to look for to let you know, for a fact, that a relationship is over.

1) If you all are fighting constantly-possibly throwing blows/jabs physically or verbally.  Face it! It’s a sign your relationship is over.
2) If the respect for each other has diminished. You’re calling each other out of your names and talking to each other any kind of way. Face it! It’s a sign your relationship is over.
3) If you don’t do the things you used too, no sex, no intimacy, can’t stand to look at each other. When you make excuses not to have sex with them. Face it! It’s a sign your relationship is over.
4) When communication has broken down and you stop talking …period. When you find every reason to hang up the phone or promise to call them back later and never do. Face it! It’s a sign your relationship is over.
5) When one of you always staying out late and purposely not answering their  phone. Face it! It’s a sign your relationship is over.
6) When one of you walks right pass the other in public or a the club and acts like they have never seen the other before. Face it! It’s a sign your relationship is over.
7) When you arrive at their house and all your stuff is in a box waiting for you to come get it! Face it! It’s a sign your relationship is over.
Again, read the signs. It you see any of these it time to move on.

It is usually assumed that the job of keeping the relationship fresh and alive is the responsibility of the man. Many women are unsure about what they can do but it’s really simple. Here are some marriage tips and relationship advice for women to keep it fresh and alive.

Ladies, if your attracted to a man why don’t you ask him out to dinner? If your a married woman ask your husband for sex! Why don’t you buy your mate something just because you love him? What I’m trying to say ladies if its a two way street. Why does the man have to make the first move?

Date often. Women shouldn’t mind asking a man out for lunch/dinner. Call his cell phone while he’s in the house and ask him for a date while you are in the house with him, i.e. in another room or downstairs out of sight. This works wonders and gets the job done. You really shouldn’t have to ask him for sex-it should be an automatic. Just wear something sexy and set the mood. He’ll know what’s up.  Now if you see something that you think your man would like or you would like to see him have, just get it.  That’s spontaneous gift giving that show real love and appreciation.

Ladies, here’s something men really find sexy.  Buy your man a red rose just because and make it your business to set a day aside at least twice a month to treat him out to dinner and a movie and let him know you appreciate him.  Ladies, just like we want them to show us they appreciate what we do for them, they need it also. And ladies, if you are afraid to ask for sex just get on it when your in bed I’m quite sure he won’t mind. They actual like it. Trust me.

Role playing on dates is another good one. Acting like you don’t know each other and like your meeting for the first time is fun too. Remember, even though you’re married to that person for years you really don’t truly know that person.  You only know what they want you to know even though you’re living under the same roof.  You will be amazed at what you might learn from your mate.

Most men cheat because they are not getting what they want at home. So when they step outside the relationship the other woman is giving them the 20% that the 80% woman won’t. That’s why its best to switch things up and be that 20% woman when he needs it. Just to show him you can be a woman with two faces.

The whole goal is to always have fun from the beginning to the end, because when the kids are grown and out of the house you still have to keep each other wanting each other. That’s your man and your biggest goal should be to have fun keeping it fresh and alive at all times.

Most women wonder about this at some point. It’s true that men aren’t nearly as transparent when it comes to their feelings as women are. Women typically see no problem with wearing our hearts on our sleeves and telling the man they adore just how much he means to her. If you’re with a man who keeps his feelings to himself and you’re unsure whether or not he’s fallen in love with you, here’s some great relationship advice for women. There are simple signs in a man’s behavior that will give you insight into what’s going on in his heart. If you spot any of these, rest assured he’s likely to be just as wild about you as you are about him.

1) He spends as much time with you as possible. When a man is in love with a woman, everything else in his life pales in comparison to that. He’ll have a new focus and that focus is her. If the man you adore is always trying to squeeze in as much time with you as he can, he’s already hooked. If your guy has excuse after excuse for why he can’t spend time with you, he’s not as into you as you are into him. Men in love don’t try to avoid being with the women they adore. It’s that simple.

2) You know the other important people in his life. Although most women are comfortable introducing every man they date to their friends and family, most men aren’t. A man is much more likely to save that privilege for a woman he’s really serious about. If you’ve met his family and you’re friends with his friends, take heart. It means more than you might imagine. He feels close enough with you to share the important folks in his world with you. That’s a very promising sign of not only his feelings, but where the relationship is headed.

3) He’s more interested in you than himself. Even though this is one of the most telling, it’s also the most subtle. When a man is still in the falling in love phase of a relationship, he’ll generally go on and on about himself. He’s doing this, subconsciously, to impress the woman he’s dating. He wants to ensure she knows everything positive and alluring there is to know about him. However, once a man starts to fall in love his focus changes. He’ll be much more focused on the woman he loves. If your guy is asking more and more questions about you and your life, he’s feeling a strong emotional connection to you. Pay extra special attention to the conversations the two of you have. If you’re his favorite topic, he’s in love.

4) How often you hear from him. One of the ways to know when a man is in love with you has to do with how often you hear from him. If a man has fallen deeply in love with the woman in his life he constantly wants to be in touch. He’ll call whenever he has a free moment and will do almost anything just to spend a few moments with her. Many women take on the belief that they rarely get phone calls from their man because he’s too busy. The fact of the matter is men do call when they are in love. If he’s not calling and if he’s coming up with multiple excuses for why he can’t spend time with you, he’s likely not nearly as interested in you as you are in him.

5) He’s always looking for ways to make your life easier in every way possible. Does your boyfriend want to make your life easier in every way possible? Does he go out of his way to do small things that he knows you enjoy? If he does, that’s a clear sign that he loves you.  Although we’re all taught to be independent, it’s enjoyable and touching when the man in our lives takes care of things for us. Anything from making you coffee in the morning to helping fix a leaky faucet are all things that a man in love will be happy to do for the object of his affection. If your boyfriend doesn’t seem terribly concerned with making your life easier, that’s not a sign that he cares deeply for you.

8 Little Things Make A Big Difference - Advice for Men

January 23, 2010
Author: KLTBrown

Believe it or not, it doesn’t take a lot to improve your marriage or your relationship. In fact,  it’s the little things that can make a big difference. So many men get too comfortable in a relationship and are forget the fact that little gestures still count. It’s easy to get so wrapped up with  life that you lose focus and feel that little things are too insignificant in the grand scheme of things.   Remember, nothing in this life is free, so my relationship advice for men is to take care of your partner, show that you love her, take time to understand her, appreciate her and encourage her, don’t take her for granted, and follow these 8 little tips that will make a big difference in your relationship.

Women need to feel loved.  Its rare for a woman not to want and need those small gestures that show you love her. But more importantly they need to be respected and not taken for granted. Here are 8 tips that every man should master to show respect for their partner.

1)  Listen to her, respect her point of view. Take time to hear what she’s saying and give her your undivided attention.

2) Don’t bulldoze her into your way of thinking. She as a point of view that may be helpful to you. Don’t discount it. She’s there to help you.

3) Don’t assume you’re above doing all those boring household tasks. Do you think your wife really enjoys them?? Learn to sacrifice and pull you weight around the house. Don’t assume that everything is her responsibility. Be supportive.

4)  Offer to help, don’t wait to be asked. Be sensitive to your wife and step in to help when needed without having to be asked. You know when she needs help.

5) Encourage your wife and support her in anything she wants to do. Learn to operate as a team and support each other. But as the man you be the first to show your support and encouragement and it will come back to you.

6) Put your partner and your relationship first. Get your priorities straight.

7) Don’t just think of your own needs when lovemaking.  Aim to satisfy your wife.

8) Don’t cheat on your spouse. Be faithful. This is the ultimate sign of respect.

Those 8 little things form the basis of sound relationship advice for men that can  really make a big difference. Try it and see for yourself.