Perfect Relationship Info

Before we go too far, let’s explain what we are talking about when we say “roles”. By definition, the term “roles” refers to the way one behaves in the relationships in their life. So now that we understand the what we are talking about and with the description out of the way, the first question is this; what causes us to behave the way we do in relationships when our behavior is dysfunctional, disempowering and doesn’t lead to fulfilling relationships?

Look closely at the present day scenario and observe the behavior; During those moments where ones behavior is dysfunctional or disempowering, it is often preceded by the following; something is either said or done that upsets us and before we know it our behavior is completely out of control. With it seeming to happen so fast we are often made to believe we have no control over our behavior.

Although this might not just be a one time occurrence, it is usually a set of behaviors that appear throughout a relationship. There could also be behaviors that are constantly triggered around men, women or authority figures for example. Once these behaviors are triggered it can be difficult to regain ones composure. It might cause one to feel that there is nothing they can do and this is who they are – an effect of the environment as opposed to a cause.

What is really happening here? In all these moments something is being triggered in the mind and what is being brought to the surface is usually the result of a memory or an accumulation of memories from ones childhood or an earlier point in life. These triggers are often so subtle and out of conscious awareness that they can just seem to happen. This then naturally leads to feelings of powerlessness and of being a victim of circumstance.

As these memories are usually being triggered from ones childhood or from earlier relationships it can feel as though one is regressing. That their usual sense of self and their behavior is no longer in existence. Now you might ask the simple question “Why Do They Still Exist?” It is quite clear that these old ways of behaving are counterproductive to ones well being and empowerment, so why do they still exist? They exist because they are still associated with what is safe to the ego mind. During ones childhood and younger years these were the behaviors that were utilized to ensure ones survival. To go against them at that time of one’s life would be perceived as leading to rejection and abandonment.

So looking at a scenario again, it now makes a lot more sense. All that is required is a trigger of some kind and our behavior will then, as a consequence, regress to how it was at an earlier stage of our life. With this earlier stage usually being ones childhood. This is one of the reasons that the behavior is so counterproductive, as it might have worked all those years ago to keep one safe, but when it comes to the present day the behavior is outdated.

These roles are not only limited to the roles that we play ourselves; there is also the other side of the coin. This is when we interpret others and see their behavior in a way that reflects the roles of our caregivers or the people in our past. And by doing this, our ability to be conscious and to see others in a more balanced or conscious point of view is lost. For example, perhaps when one was younger they had an authoritative mother or father. It might then play out in two ways; the first would be that whenever they come across an authority figure they will tend to become submissive and fearful.

The other likely approach would be behavior that is aggressive and hostile. Another example is the woman who had an overbearing or controlling father. And when she is in an intimate relationship she has a tendency to regresses back to her earlier behavior and the role she had around her father. This of course has no benefit and only causes her to feel overwhelmed and powerless. In both of these examples, ones unprocessed past is being projected and manifested into the present moment and is then reappearing in the form of “roles”.

As I have mentioned above in regards to the nature of these roles; we can act in a certain manner and perceive others in specific ways, without ever noticing that these roles are being carried out and because of this unawareness we can go through life without ever questioning these roles. But Where Did These Roles Originate From? These roles that we see in others and the roles that we embody are in many ways a consequence of our original role models. And our original reference point for role models is typically our parents/caregivers. These were seen as god like figures and as people who were completely different to us. And in terms of their physical size and perhaps mental growth they were different to us. But inherently they came from the same place as us and are no different to us. They are still human beings who have needs and imperfections like us.

The role of a mother and father is generally something that the majority of people can relate to and understand as an example. This could be because they are one of these roles or because they have had one or both of these in their life. They are roles that are familiar and easy to understand. However, there are often emotions of anger and frustration and feelings of being let down and betrayed when one go’s over their experiences with their parents or in comparing their parents with other people’s parents.

However, as we grow older and develop ourselves, we have the chance to see our parents/caregivers more for who they are as opposed to the god like figures we thought they were. And that maybe they were the best people for our own growth to occur. Something that will be easier to grasp if one believes or knows that life has meaning and harder to believe in, if one sees life as random and meaningless. They likely had needs that were not met and their own pain, all of which were likely to have been projected onto us and affected our upbringing and development. There might always be job titles and roles that are apart of those in our society, however the psychological roles that we play and perceive in others are not static.

The types of roles that we play and the roles we interpret other people to play can always change. With dancing there is a constant motion and movement, and just like how a dance will stop when there is resistance; so will the flow of life when our mind becomes fixed and resistant. Awareness is required for this flow to happen and for the dissolving of roles to occur. And first and foremost awareness of ourselves and out of that allows for the awareness of others.

Hope it helps,

Here are a few timely tips on maintaining friendships with courtesy.  These are a collection of tips that will enhance any relationship and help you get through the “not so exciting” times that occur in any relationship.  Use these relationship tips wisely and you will find that it is a lot easier to maintain and build strong and lasting friendships.

1  Respect your friends and neighbors privacy. Do not show up at their doorstep without calling first unless it’s an emergency. Give them space when their phone rings or they are responding to a cell phone text. Don’t be nosey and try to pry into their conversations.

2  Do use tact and think before you speak. Consider their feelings and remember an offhand remark such as “your hair looks uncombed today” can be hurtful to them. Be sensitive to their reaction when you make a comment. Many times their body language will let you know that your comment was offensive or just not understood. Learn to read their reactions so you can quickly correct any misunderstandings.

3  Do be a loyal friend. Loyalty is very important in any friendship. A true friend does not shun another friend in public. Be inclusive in your social gatherings and make sure that your friend is included in any conversation or plans. Don’t be a Dr Jeckle/Mr Heid when you are in a group of people. Be the same towards your friend at all times.

4  Do keep track of birthdays and anniversaries and remember to send cards and/or gifts during these special occasions. Work on remembering special events that the two of you share. Rehearse and celebrate the good times the two of you shared together. Be a giver as well as a receiver. Be available for your friends when they need support and likewise, when you need support, ask them for their help too.

5  Don’t make negative statements about a friend’s spouse, children, relatives, pets, decorating, weight or age. Remember the old adage, “if you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all.”  Practice the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!”

6  Don’t overburden your friends with constant complaining about your problems, remember, everyone has problems. Be positive and avoid being negative at all costs. If you think you are being too negative, simply ask your friend. They will let you know. When they tell you, take what they say as truth.

7  Don’t take your friends for granted, as you would not like it if they took you for granted. Be appreciative of them and their friendship. Let them know it is an honor to be called their friend. Laugh at their attempts at humor. Be their biggest cheerleader even if they miss the mark.  Remember, no one’s perfect. You win some, you lose some.  Either way, the true friend celebrates the attempts.

For more relationship tips on maintaining friendships, visit us at www.prelationship.com.

Hope it helps,

Ever had those doubts about whether the relationship you are in is the right one? Ever with you could easily determine if this relationship is where you ought to focus your attention?  Ever wonder if the relationship you are in has any potential for a lifelong relationship? Besides, who wants to be in a relationship that’s headed for a major car crash without any warning. Or who wants to be on a ship that’s headed for an iceberg.  (Remember the titanic!!)

If any of these questions hit home with you, here a 10 easy ways to know if you are in the right relationship.  Based on the answers to these ten questions, you need to decide to proceed with the relationship or walk away.

1) If the person you are with notices that you are getting clingy and focusing all your time and attention on them, and neglecting other important things, what do they do?:

a) Enjoy it, and encourage more of it,

b) Work to help you get your proper focus back and keep you in balance

If your answer is A then you need to walk away. You probably have a partner who is selfish, spoiled and self serving and will not put your well being before their gratification.

2) Have you found yourself improving since you’ve been in the relationship or going in the opposite direction and getting worse? If the answer is getting worse, it’s a clear sign that something has got to change and quickly before its too late. Better put the brakes on now.

3) Does your partner initiate wholesome, and socially/culturally valuable activities or do they wait you you to initiate? This may be a sign that you are dealing with a leach that will soon drain you of your life blood.  Remember, the way that you function in the relationship now will set the precedent for years to come. If this pattern continues you will be on your way to burn out.  These activities need to be shared and initiated by both parties.

4) Can the two of you identify areas that you could not have grown in without the other person in your life?  If yes, then you probably have a relationship  that will be a lasting one.

5) Ask you closest friends if they see and observable signs that you have benefited as a person as a result of this relationship. This is a good way of determining the impact of the relationship on you from and unbiased  judge. If they paint a different picture than what you have painted, it’s time for some in-depth analysis of your relationship.  Close friends won’t lie. Listen and respond.

6) Ask your partners close friends if they see any observable signs that they have benefited from the relationship. Once again, Close friends won’t lie. Listen and respond.

7) Has the relationship hindered or advanced your achievement of goals and you fulfilling your responsibilities? This is a basic acid test to determine if your relationship is long term or short term. Pay close attention to this question. Ignoring the answer may result in life long regrets later in life.  Many people have been cheated out of their lifelong achievements and goals by engaging in wrong relationships. Don’t be one of them.

Do you feel free to share your lifelong ambitions and goals with your partner? Do they feel free to share theirs with you? For a relationship to last, you must be open and honest about what you really want. If you can’t be open and honest, then the relationship  is doomed to failure.

9) Has your relationship been an example in public or a secret kept private.  Have your families been a part of your relationship in any way? This is the fame or shame criteria. If your or your partner are ashamed to own up to your relationship with family and friends, it’s a good sign that your relationship will be short lived.

10) Does your partner care enough about you personally to back away if the relationship becomes a hindrance or a burden on you? The true test of a relationship is the willingness of the partners to walk away if it becomes detrimental to either party.  Love, true love, tough love, cares enough to walk away.

For more relationship tips and advice visit us at www.prelationship.com and

Anybody Can Be Great at Relationship Management

There’s no reason why you can’t improve your relationship management skills. To do this, you only have to concentrate on making a few adjustments in your routine. It’s not so hard to read or think about this, of course.

It’s something else to actually make the necessary changes. You should realize up front that becoming better at relationship management will not happen immediately. You should, therefore, be patient and expect to have some challenges along the way. That said, there are some relationship tips that you can start doing right away to help you better manage your relationships every day.

Setting goals for yourself and making “to do” lists can be helpful, but you should not be too rigid in your approach. The more structure you try to force upon yourself, the more stressed out you will get.

When you are tense, you will be less effective because your concentration will be poor. To keep a clear head, you sometimes have to put certain things off until tomorrow. This doesn’t mean to ignore larger goals. What it does mean is that you don’t have to feel the world has ended if you have to postpone a minor task until the next day. In such cases, just go with the flow. If you try to micromanage yourself too much, you could damage your health! One of the easiest relationship management tips to follow is to break big tasks down into smaller tasks. Focus on small things to boost your relationships rather than big things. Remember, a lot of small things is a lot more effective than one big thing. It’s easier to get a handle on a large job when you can work on it one piece at a time. When you break down the task, you can also have flexibility about which part you want to work on at what time. The bigger the task that sits in front of you, the more likely you will be to procrastinate. People put off these large tasks because they don’t feel up to the challenge of facing them. When the large project has been divided into smaller parts, it no longer seems unmanageable, and you can start to work on it.

Schedule out your day in a written form. This schedule does not need to be written out down to the minute. Be sure you schedule in things you can do during your lunch and daily breaks. Looking at a schedule like this can help you see just when you need to move to the next task and how soon til your next break. You will be able to keep your stress levels down some if you don’t allow your schedule to be too detailed. Don’t over extend yourself. Relationship management skills are something that you develop gradually. The simple truth is that we all procrastinate sometimes. There are so many temptations to stop what we’re doing. Everyone finds that hours have slipped away from them. What’s important is that you keep trying. As you practice your new habits, they will become natural. Eventually there will be a day when staying on task is simply second nature. It won’t even take any special effort. Then your relationship management abilities will have reached a new level.

Ever wondered where to start when it come to building a relationship? Ever thought about what it takes to sustain a healthy relationship? Here are three key building blocks that should be the foundation of your relationship whether it’s friendship, family, love or marriage.

The first is courtesy. This is the key to initiating a relationship. It involves respecting the other person and giving them the necessary consideration and politeness. It involves valuing the person for their opinions, their beliefs, their outlook on life, and their potential contribution to the relationship. In addition, you must learn to celebrate their uniqueness and originality. You should never treat them based on a stereotype or a typecast but always looking for the true individual with all the many facets of their personality and character. This is what I call giving a person a common courtesy.

The next key ingredient is compassion. You must learn to empathize or identify with the individual and their situation and sympathize with and be supportive of the individual as they attempt to deal with their situations. You must try to be understanding even when their logic and decisions are different from yours. Lastly you must never be judgmental or critical in your dealings with them. This type of compassionate attitude will go far to build a strong and lasting relationship.

The last key ingredient is kindness. This involves being willing to go beyond what is deserved or warranted. It means going the extra mile to be helpful, gentle, benevolent, and thoughtful. In a world where people rarely get what they deserve, do your best to give the individual more than what they deserve. Give them more attention, more thoughtfulness, more tolerance, more love, and more acceptance than they really deserve. This is a key ingredient to a fulfilling relationship because believe it or not, you reap what you sow, and what goes around eventually comes around. Soon you will be on the receiving side of all these acts of kindness.

Hope it helps,

There is no short supply of relationship tips. Every one seems to have advice and opinions. Everyone is an expert on how you should run your life. The simplest solution when dealing with people in any type of relationship is: treat others the way you want to be treated. That is the golden rule of life.

Not everyone follows this rule, and that is when problems start. When disagreements become full-blown arguments, you have to step back and cool off. Put some space between you and your partner for a few minutes and then calmly come to some sort of agreement. Don’t stomp off in a huff, slamming doors and breaking stuff. Just stop, step back and cool down.

Two Of The Biggest Mistakes People Make:

1.    Give up too easy: The relationship isn’t working, or it is not as fun and exciting as it used to be, so you leave. Sometimes you have to try to work things out. Give and take, compromise. Female friends are famous for giving bad advice. You want to talk about a fight you had with your boyfriend and all they say is “leave him, leave him.” Read all of the relationship tips you can find to see if there isn’t some way to salvage the relationship. Leaving should be the last resort, not the first.
2.    Staying too long: When it is over, it is over. Don’t stay in a bad relationship, especially an abusive one. All the relationship tips and tricks in the world can not fix something that is beyond repair.

Open your heart to your partner. Let him know what you think and feel. The most important parts to any relationship are trust and loyalty. Love is not just fun and games - it is a deep commitment to another person. That person has to be trustworthy and loyal to you and you have to return that trust and loyalty to him.

The best relationship tip - be true to yourself and be true to your partner.

Wanted to share a few useful approaches for growing self-reliance as a business person. Many people are afraid of venturing out into the business world due to there perceived lack a confidence. There is good news however, you can overcome that fear and build your self confidence with consistent and focused effort. Here are a few relationship tips to help you begin the building process.

Business women and men are in a leadership position regardless of their particular station within the organization. Leaders need to be confident for many reasons, and they all contribute their part to success. Many areas exist for leadership roles such as confidence and improvement in all areas. You will need to know about your company. With the right knowledge of your playing field you will have the upper hand. Today, we want to discuss several effective approaches to build confidence for business men and women.

Being involved in business brings up issues pertaining to leadership and authority. Such positions always involve having a certain amount of power. Power may make you uneasy if you are lacking in confidence. The first step in this process is to accept that this is something you have, so you can decide how you want to use it. Understanding how power comes into existence can also be useful. For example, you may have additional power due to your particular knowledge, or even through the existence of valuable resources of any kind. The key is identifying the roots or base of your power, and then you can begin to constructively use it one small step at a time.

You can build your confidence by paying attention to how you do business and what you promote. What do you really think about your way of doing business? Do you think your customers are getting a good value from your products or services? Be upfront and frank with yourself as you ponder these questions.

What you will do is remind yourself that you really do believe in what you’re selling. The realization that you are proud of your business can help you feel better about yourself. This belief in your business can give you a greater sense of self confidence.

Do you sometimes feel bombarded with negative energy from certain people, or maybe life in general? All right, then stop and think if you’re one of those people who may have more negative perspectives than most do.

If you remember to concentrate on the positive aspects of your environment you can improve your outlook. You have to develop your own methods of remaining unaffected by the negativity that may be going on around you. This will enable you to rise above negative emotions, and you’ll feel better and have more energy.

You can achieve the confidence you want for your business by applying a variety of strategies. We feel very strongly that since we are all different, you will serve yourself best by researching the area more and trying the method(s) that appeal to you the most.

Do you think you know what men crave more than anything else? If I ask most women this question, I’d likely get such responses as:

Men want a woman who always agrees with him.

Men crave a Sex Kitten - she always says yes to his request.

All men want someone with the perfect body.

Of course most men would like those things, but they wouldn’t do whatever it takes to get please a woman who meets those superficial requirements. No, the woman he’d do whatever it takes to make her happy possesses this understanding about men.

Men crave praise and admiration more than anything else.

I can’t emphasis this enough. Men are powerless to resist the woman who truly and wholeheartedly shows her admiration for him and what he does.

Now before I go further, let me tell you what this doesn’t mean. It isn’t as simple as just saying nice things to him. There is much more to it than that. Here are 3 key ingredients for making him powerless to resist you.

1) You must be a woman worthy of his admiration. I’m not talking about being perfect, but you must demonstrate value. Does he feel lucky to have you in his life? Are you willing to disagree with him when he’s wrong and not back down? You are the one who determines your value, not him. If you’re not doing these things, then he won’t take your compliments very seriously. You need to be a woman he admires so that your praise means a great deal to him.

2) You must understand what he likes about himself. Do you know how he sees himself? Does he think he’s a good athlete or a wonderful businessman? This is critical because these qualities mean a lot to him. Praising him for something he values makes him feel that you truly understand him. Praising him for things you like alone will have little impact.

3) Don’t keep your thoughts to yourself. When you see him doing something you admire, speak up. You don’t have to pretend you admire something about him that you really don’t. Instead, don’t hold back when he does something impressive. Let him know how amazing he is!

He may try and minimize your compliment and if he does I want you to do the same thing I do with a client when they try and deflect a compliment:

I look them directly in the eyes and say, “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. You can dismiss what I said all you want but I’m right about this. You really are _________________(fill in blank with whatever you admire). ”

Here’s why it works. Deep down he’s hoping you really mean it. He’s just afraid to trust it. When you follow up with the statement I’ve suggested he won’t just hear it…he’ll feel it. At that moment you will stand out from every other woman he’s ever met because you’ve given him the type of praise he secretly craves.

Most of us are so desperate to be in a relationship that we often don’t wait to find out if we are in a healthy relationship. Television dramas, romantic comedies, and books have turned many of us into a generation of women longing for love and often finding it in all the wrong places. The problem is not limited to women - an increasing number of men are reporting what everyone has suspected for long - that men too have their share of relationship problems!

A healthy relationship is one where both partners feel loved, respected, and secure. It allows two people to grow without growing apart. It allows them to nurture each other without losing their own identity or personal space. Many romances start out based on looks, wealth, social status, or even the car you are driving. While these are not predictors of a bad relationship, they may not help you have a healthy relationship unless you can build a solid foundation based on trust, respect, and mutual give and take.

Here Are Things That Make A Healthy Relationship:

1. Respect: Before the heady chemistry, comes respect as a determiner of the health of a relationship. Don’t get into the often virulent and destructive “passionate romance” obsession until you are sure your partner respects you.
2. Trust: Not able to trust the other person to not cheat on you, not swipe your credit card for shopping, or even keep their promise of meeting you for lunch? Rethink the relationship.
3. Sharing: This includes a whole range of things - from material possessions to thoughts, time, feelings, joys, doubts, memories…the list is endless. A healthy relationship involves lots of sharing. Sharing leads to better understanding of each other and lessens conflicts.
4. Willingness to recognize and sort out problems: If you are not in a healthy relationship and you see that you are in a sticky situation, any attempts at conflict resolution will be useless if both partners are not willing to work on problems.

By learning what constitutes a healthy relationship, you can avoid bad relationships and strengthen the existing bond with your partner.

Found this featured topic from Bob Grant and Relationship Headquarters. Thought I would share it with you women. Great read, great topic, great job Bob Grant.

Every woman, and I mean every woman, uses their emotions when they bond with a man. In fact, the more intense a man makes a woman feel; the more likely she will bond with him. Some men are aware of this and use
it to take advantage of women. What most women don’t know is that men do not bond emotionally to a woman through the intensity of their feelings. Men bond over time, regardless of how intense their emotions are in a
given moment. If you were to obtain an instruction manual to a man’s heart it would read like this:

Men are quickly aroused but slow to bond.

Men do not bond through their feelings because they don’t use their feelings as often as women do. In fact,  when a man is full of emotion, they often say very dumb things…

“I love you.” (When they have only known a woman for a few weeks)
“I’m going to leave my wife for you” (Which rarely happens)
“I love Classical Music” (When he can really take it or leave it)

Many women think the key to being captivating to a man is to arouse his passion. While this is important, those women that rely on simply having an intense connection with a man will most likely find that after a few weeks - sometimes months- the relationships has ended. Often, the woman is then desperate to find out how to get him back.

If women only understood - really understood - that men don’t have the ability to bond with intense emotions like women do; they would know how to keep their relationship from progressing too quickly. Those that do
learn this truth are the ones that men describe this way; “There’s something about her,” and they find a way to make her their own.

Looking for your comments ladies.  Hope it helps!