pRelationship

Ever wonder why some people are easily noticed in a crowded room and some go totally unnoticed? This relationship tip for both women and men will get you noticed if you practice it on a regular basis.

I saw this story about Ian Ziering (from the popular 1990’s TV show 90210) that describes his first impression of his new wife.

They met at a Labor Day party at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood in 2009. In a sea of $600 stilettos, $700 bikinis, $800 sunglasses and $900 hair extensions, Erin (his wife) walked in wearing flip-flops, a simple black bikini, Ray-Bans and a ponytail. He was totally mesmerized.

I was struck by what he said and what he didn’t. Most women would love to be noticed in a crowded room and have a man be instantly smitten. However, to accomplish this goal, women often focus on the wrong things. Perfect hair, perfect body, perfect smile, perfect… are you noticing a theme?

But when I (or someone else) suggests to a woman that there is more to attracting and keeping a man than simply being perfect, they smile and say, “I know, I know.” But they don’t believe me because of their bad experiences. In the past, some man has told them that if they weren’t so (overweight, talkative, controlling, needy, etc.), the relationship wouldn’t be ending. So they decide that the way they are - isn’t enough. What I mean by “enough” is that they believe that they are not pretty enough, skinny enough, confident enough and so forth.

It’s not true, you know. Being perfect will certainly get you more invitations and more men turning their heads to look at you, but that wasn’t the quality that Mr. Ziering noticed in his wife. You see, it wasn’t what she wore or the particular style of her hair. It was what came from within that made her outfit and her hairstyle so radiant. In fact, he noticed it so strongly that he married this woman 9 months after they met.

I’m also sure that you’ve probably experienced this yourself at least once in your life. Those times when it seemed every guy was interested in you. Or if you’re in a relationship, can you remember when your man couldn’t seem to get enough of you?  Wouldn’t you like to have that effect most of the time?     Guess what, you can, but here is the catch. This trait isn’t always easy to develop. It takes some practice. It doesn’t take forever; yet, it isn’t something you can develop in a day.

In fact, those women that struggle to obtain this magic usually have one thing in common. They’re impatient. They want it now. When it doesn’t work with every guy - every time they say, “This stuff doesn’t work.” Then they continue to wonder why the relationship they’ve always dreamed of never seems to show up in their lives.

I want to tell you that it can happen. But if you’d like things to be different, then you’ll have to do different things. Simply keeping the same habits and beliefs won’t change your circumstances. Additionally, keeping old habits absolutely won’t cause men to look at you the way Ian Ziering looked at his future wife. But if you want that kind of power, and I mean really want it, then it’s yours for the taking.

Let me show you how to put your heart first, and ahead of any man.  I’ll give you the tip that will cause men to look at you differently - if you agree to try it for at least 3 weeks.

Treat every guy/girl the same.

Be nice to the ugly guy/girl and the overweight one. Listen to the one who you think is boring and bald. Oh I know, he might just ask you out, but that is a problem you want to have. You see there is no magic formula for only attracting the man or woman you want. There is only the magic that attracts men and women. Those you want and those you don’t. You’ll end up turning down most of these invitations but something inside of you will begin to change.

Practice treating them all the same, and I promise that the ones you like will notice that you seem to have a content beauty that makes you stand out across a crowded room, even if you’re just wearing flip flops with your hair in a ponytail.

Give it a try for 3 weeks straight and report back with your results. You’ll be amazed.

I ran across a great article from one of my favorite media experts on relationships, Bob Grant.  It’s entitled “She Admires - He Cherishes”.  It really drives the point across about what REALLY turns a man’s fancy and what really makes a fulfilling relationship. Read and enjoy:

“What does a healthy relationship look like? Some people believe that this means that two people engaging in a mutually respectful relationship. On paper that may sound good. But to be honest, there’s no passion in that kind of safe and sterile relationship. A relationship that is full of passion has many characteristics. There is one in particular that I wanted to point out.”

Note, one  major key ingredient to a fulfilling relationship is passion.

“The best relationships don’t focus on equality, but rather on two people complimenting each other. This is like two pieces of a puzzle. Each one needs the other to be complete. If you want the type of man that makes you feel special most of the time, then I’d like to make a suggestion. Forget trying to get him to talk about his feelings all the time. Stop asking him questions that are designed to make him reaffirm his love for you. Instead, for the next few weeks focus on pointing out anything he does that you are impressed by.”

Note, the key is focusing on giving to get what you want.  Give him admiration and he will cherish you.

“Talk to him about anything that he does that you feel is special or kind. In other words, look for ways to show your admiration for him.If you do, you’ll stand out in his mind from any other woman he has every dated. And here is the reason why. Most women are very observant early on in a relationship because they tend to emote emotions. If you didn’t know, a man feeds off of that emotion, and for women it’s quite effortless to do this when she’s interested in a man. What happens in most relationships is that each partner begins to take the other for granted, and each wonders where the romantic spark went.”

Key Point!  Men feed off positive emotion. Especially when it’s in response to something they have done or something that relates to them.

“The truth is that relationships often die due to neglect. If you want to revive your relationship, try this. Whenever he does something you like, don’t just acknowledge it - show your emotions. I’m not asking you to lie or pretend you like something that you don’t, but I am saying this, “Don’t hold back your emotion when you like something he does.” When you show your admiration, he’ll be reminded why he pursued you at the beginning of your relationship. As those feelings get stirred up in his heart, you’ll soon see that he will want to cherish you all over again.”

Remember, show and tell and you’ll get and receive.

Self-esteem plays a major factor in the frequency of your dating experience.  If you are looking to date successfully you need to increase your confidence level.  Increasing your confidence and self-esteem takes effort. Some things are easy to change, while others will take time and lots of practice. Remember, “Nothing can be achieved without trying”.  Unless you feel good about yourself, the only way you will attract someone is through an online dating service. Even then it’s likely that the person you attract will soon discover your true feeling about yourself.   Follow these dating tips to give your confidence a boost.

• Are you Prepared? Establish whether you’re truly ready to meet someone new. If so, then proceed. If not, take your time.
• Know your weaknesses. - Make two lists. The first is a list of  all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. Be brutally honest. The second is a list of  things you think people may not like about you. Get a second opinion, too. Include the way you look and the way you dress. Things you can readily change.
• Take short term action. Change the things you think you can do better. By changing the most basic aspects of your looks, lifestyle and regime, you will instantly feel more confident. You will have a new you.
• Reflect - Take a good look at the new you. Ensure you are comfortable with any changes you make.
• Take long term action. Make sure you are in shape or attempting to be. If you are dieting or exercising, remember to be patient as these changes will take a little while.  Start to change the habits and routines that drag you down. Your confidence will grow as you feel better about yourself and others will sense it.
• Change your associations. If you associate with negative people or people who criticize you, lose them fast. Start doing the things you wish you had always had the courage to do, like a hobby, sport or society. Then find people who enjoy the same things. Surround yourself with like minded people as often as possible.
• Change your attitudes. Learn to enjoy the smaller things in life and give yourself time specifically for these things. If you like to cook for friends, then start having dinner parties. Don’t wait for others to invite you out.  Stop accepting second best. Start making yourself the first priority. Learn to like and love yourself for who you are and what you want from your life. Do not allow negative family comments to influence you in any way.
• Broaden your perspectives. - By looking and feeling good about yourself and widening your horizons, your life will begin to change for the better and your confidence levels will go up. Be selective about what kind of person you really like. And by the same token, talk to everyone. The more people who are interested, the higher your confidence levels. Make conversation with the nice people you meet along the way. Become sociable and look good at every opportunity. Be your own best advert.
• Start dating. If someone asks you out, accept. Set yourself some life goals as well as romantic goals. Other people love to be associated with driven and goal-orientated people. Confidence breeds confidence. Be proactive and ask someone out. Just do it, and accept freely that some people will say no. Many will also say yes. Remember that your confidence levels will become sky high by people saying yes to you. This will happen when you select the right kind of dates, so keep a realistic approach to dating. Walk away from anything you don’t like and instill a positive mental attitude in everything you do.
• Keep it going. Stick with it and just keep going. Don’t go back to what there was before. That’s over.

Men are always looking for ways to get their relationship to last but they seldom find the answers until it’s too late.  As the saying says “hindsight is 20:20″. So what’s the secret to long term relationships with women? Here is some  relationship advice for men who are looking for long term relationship success with women.

One common mistake men make is to pay attention to what women say they want.  Instead of listening to their words you got to take notice of their behavior and figure out what they really want. If you know what they really want you can adjust your approach to accentuate the things they are really looking for and minimize the things that would lessen your chances for a long term relationship.

When you analyze what they say and what they finally do it becomes obvious that the two are not the same.  Many women say that they want one type of man but end up going out with and having relationships with their opposite.  They tend to follow and be guided by their subconscious mind.

When it comes to long term relationships, a woman’s  maternal instinct is usually going to be predominant. So, women end up looking for somebody, often subconsciously,  who will make a good father for her children.

They will look for security and a man that will care for her children and give them all that they need. They look for a man who possesses a confident attitude and exhibits stability. Because of this, the man’s job and salary carries a lot of weight and a man with a steady job and consistent income will have the advantage.  In addition, women will often associate the strength of a man with his capacity for providing for her children.

If you are in a relationship or even pursuing a long term relationship with a woman, remember these important tips and keep in mind the things she is going to consider.  Be prepared to pass the test and assure her that  she, and most importantly, her future children will be in good hands.

In my searching around the internet I ran across these tips for guys on knowing when a woman is attracted to you.  I hope these relationship tips and advice for men will help you decide if she is worth pursuing or if you are just wasting your time.

Before we start here’s a background note.  Women are known to be talkative.  However, a woman is a “bilingual” to a certain extent, and she is as articulate in body language as she is in the words on paper. Therefore, when it comes to feelings and relationships, women use both forms to convey their message. Hence, the only way to succeed in analyzing if the woman really likes you is to listen closely and decode her body language.
Here is a list of the most common moves that would literally tell you that she is interested in you and tips on how to respond to these actions.

Tip 1:  Self-stroking

You are talking to a woman and you notice her slowly running her hand up and down her forearm.  It is a tactile woman!

She loves the feel of things on her hand, and most probably the rest of her body. A simple movement like that speaks pages. It is like telling you, “Look at my hand, pretend it is yours.”

What to do:  Give her a few strokes but keep your hands on neutral territory.
A touch on the shoulder, a tap on the top of her hand would be enough. If she is telling you what you hope she is telling you, she will easily focus her tactile fixation on you.

Tip 2:  The Hair-Behind-Ear Tuck

Most women have this technique down pat. It may be an affection of the typical and much sought-after demure lady.

For the most part, it shows that your girl is a preneer. She likes to have every strand of hair to be in place; and a single one of them is out of line. That is the ear tuck power.

What to do: Pay her a compliment. Any compliment will do, but a “I like your hair like that” may just be the ticket that she has been waiting from you.

Tip 3: Puppy Dog Eyes

Awww! She is so cute. Those big doe eyes are practically begging for assistance. She needs your help and you must willingly give it.

Although this tactic is used mostly for flat tires and bus seats, it works quite well in the flirting and pick-up scene as well.

What to do: When the puppy dog’s eyes come on, jump into action. Snap your fingers and order a drink for her. Offer her a chair. Do not overdo it though, because women are totally capable of themselves, and the only reason why she appears like a damsel in distress is the fact that she likes you and she is interested to know you better.

Tip 4: The Laugh and Touch Combo

At an appropriate time in the conversation, you whip out your favorite joke to seal the deal with your date. She laughs unabashedly, leans towards you, and plants an unassuming hand on your thigh, arm, or shoulder.

So she thinks you are funny, right? Wrong. The upside down, though, is that she is into you, downright interested in you, despite the  joke. This is her way of showing you that she is easy to get along with and open to possibilities that involve you.

What to do: Talk about things that border on the intimate, but end with a self-deprecating joke. This will keep you from going too heavy but at the same time, it sends out the signal that you like her too and that you are comfortable with her.

Providing the appropriate responses to these common moves will launch you both into the exciting world of the “getting-to-know-you-better” stage.

Are you one of the many who wonder if they’re in an unequal relationship? Do you even know what an unequal relationship is?  Well this information may help to first explain what an unequal relationship is and secondly, how to determine if you’re in one.

The idea of a “equal” relationship is often puzzling and frustrating to many men. Men think of equals as individuals or entities that they compete against. In this regard, a woman is justified in wanting to be treated as an equal in the workforce. But in a relationship, the last thing a man wants to do is  to complete with a woman (after all, they have their career, sports and guy friends for that).

These facts leave us with this assessment - what men don’t get from all their pursuits and accomplishments is someone that can awaken their feelings.  They don’t want an equal.  They want someone who is a complement. A complementary relationship is defined as having two separate and different partners that enhance or complete each other.  Note the key term “enhance” and the word “complete” not “compete”.

Women frequently ask, “Should I pay for dinner since he pays so often?” What they are implying is that it doesn’t seem fair for him to pay all the time. Yet, men don’t care about what is fair as much as you think. What the man paying for dinner is really concerned about is this: Will this make her happy? Does she seem to be having a good time? Will I score points with her on this one?

The thought of “when’s she gonna pay?” doesn’t even enter his mind. He’s not concerned with fair. He only wants to impress her. If he does impress her then he’ll say to himself, “Yep, I’m the man. She’s having a great time because I am a stud.” Yes, guys really do think like that.

In fact, in a perfect relationship, a woman should feel somewhat indebted to a man. Yes, that means that he should be giving more than she does.  If you’re uncomfortable with that arraignment, then you can opt for the equal relationship. The only problem is that it’s terribly boring. It is sort of like going to a high school dance with your cousin - safe but not very appealing. A passionate relationship means you allow him to be a man and he in turn cherishes you as the woman. It’s not subservient. In fact, it’s quite empowering for a woman.

If you are  stressed and unhappy and it seems like you going in circles with your relationship here are some relationship tips and relationship advice to help you in your situation.

First, if you both have time,  seek counseling together and allow things to be dealt with from both sides about the current situation.   I recommend you not rush to any decisions on either side but rather set up an appointment as soon as you can with a counselor.

However, if the stress of the relationship is taking a heavy toll on you in terms of health and well-being it might be wise,  despite your fear of being on your own,  to end this relationship and look for a healthier one.  One that will make you feel fulfilled and not overly dependent. Be honest with yourself if you sense that your stressful and unhappy relationship is leading no where. In this case I  don’t think that the both of you going to counseling would have any positive results.

If you are getting nothing but negative feelings from this stressful and unhappy relationship and although there might be some good days, the bad outweigh the good, then maybe it’s time to step back and put the relationship on hold.  Take some time away from them and see if your negative feelings diminish. With time you’ll get clearer vision as to what the relationship really means to you.  Just don’t waste your life  waiting for things to get better because chances are the probably wont.

If you are in a stressful and unhappy relationship I can understand the kind of pain you are in. If you’ve tried talking to your partner about how you feel and how mentally drained you are from the emotionally stress, maybe you need to listen to their side of the things. Maybe if you talk to them things may come to light which could enable you understand each other better.

It’s always a good idea to talk to them and try to understand things from their perspective, provided they are willing to reciprocate the same.  If they are trying to be ruthless and bent upon having their way in the relationship, then put your foot down and just walk out of the relationship.  If they  are unwilling to care for you, love you , respect you, treat you nicely, honor your wishes then all they are doing is using you and emotionally abusing you.   Sit yourself down,  analyze how you feel, what and how they make you feel and then decide whether you’re a better person being with them or without them.  If you find this difficult,  try to analyze whether they bring out the best in you or the worst or somewhere in between. Hopefully this relationship advice will clear your mind and enable you to have a better understanding of what you should do and what you should choose.

How long do you think a person should wait to start dating after ending a longterm (over 2 yrs) relationship? Should they wait 3 months? 6 months? Should they even wait at all? Would it depend on if they are looking for something long term or a one nightstand? How soon is too soon? Maybe it depends on why the prior relationship ended? Looking for answers to these tough questions? Follow this link to www.prelationship.com to get expert dating advice from around the web.

Remember, there are no set rules on the time when a person should move on in my opinion. I think it depends on the person. Everyone is different.  People should not judge others and let folks be themselves when they decide. I believe in encouragement or positive feedback on taking time to heal but I think ultimately individuals should do what they want in order to be happy or to simply learn a valuable lesson for their future. My recommendation is to give “time” time. Give it time & heal. Some people can move on faster than others.

If you were in love with the person at the time of the break up - then you definitely need to wait until you can safely say you are free in your heart. Jumping into something new will only hurt the next person and that’s just not right. Then again, it also depends on how and why the prior relationship ended.  It could have been a long time coming and if you’re ready who’s to say what’s a good time for you. Again, just make sure you are healed.

How do you stop loving someone who you are DEEPLY in love with, but for various reasons the relationship doesn’t work. You love them but you can’t be with them? How do you turn off your emotions? Especially when you have to see this person everyday, Here’s some breakup advice that will help you get over it and move on.

It’s obvious that you must limit your interaction with this person. NO more phone calls. With time, any emotional attachment and feelings will subside after a while. Detach yourself from the delusion first. You need to come to realization that you two can’t be together. Not sure why you got yourself in this situation to begin with, BUT you’re there, so how you do release yourself from a painful reality?

First remove all things that remind you of this person; any pictures, phone messages, text messages etc.. If  you see this person daily at work for instance, walk the other way. Keep it professional no matter how hard it is. Concentrate and utilize mind over matter.

Remember, it’s never easy to turn your emotions off. You can’t help it. Start filling that void with something else to occupy your time. Don’t read a book, its useless. You’re not gonna be able to concentrate.  Go out and be amongst your friends.

Because you are “Deeply” in love, sex probably played a factor. Needless to say you must show restraint. Don’t continue to have sex anymore. You have to be strong.  Understand you are only setting yourself up to get hurt. You have to take the first step if you don’t want to feel this yearning and desire anymore. Only you have control over your feelings and emotions. Don’t look to the person you are dealing with to help you with this.

But if you are seeing a married man-STOP NOW! Do yourself a favor. He is not gonna leave his wife. Don’t get caught up. You know better. If you are married, same advice. I hope your spouse doesn’t find out. But seriously, you must find a way to detach yourself.

Personally, you will be fine. Forgive yourself and love yourself enough not to get caught up in a situation like this again. The healing process is not gonna be easy.  Have patience. Don’t be too hard on yourself but get out now. Save your sanity and your dignity. Find someone you can be with without stipulations.

Believe it or not, it doesn’t take a lot to improve your marriage or your relationship. In fact,  it’s the little things that can make a big difference. So many men get too comfortable in a relationship and are forget the fact that little gestures still count. It’s easy to get so wrapped up with  life that you lose focus and feel that little things are too insignificant in the grand scheme of things.   Remember, nothing in this life is free, so my relationship advice for men is to take care of your partner, show that you love her, take time to understand her, appreciate her and encourage her, don’t take her for granted, and follow these 8 little tips that will make a big difference in your relationship.

Women need to feel loved.  Its rare for a woman not to want and need those small gestures that show you love her. But more importantly they need to be respected and not taken for granted. Here are 8 tips that every man should master to show respect for their partner.

1)  Listen to her, respect her point of view. Take time to hear what she’s saying and give her your undivided attention.

2) Don’t bulldoze her into your way of thinking. She as a point of view that may be helpful to you. Don’t discount it. She’s there to help you.

3) Don’t assume you’re above doing all those boring household tasks. Do you think your wife really enjoys them?? Learn to sacrifice and pull you weight around the house. Don’t assume that everything is her responsibility. Be supportive.

4)  Offer to help, don’t wait to be asked. Be sensitive to your wife and step in to help when needed without having to be asked. You know when she needs help.

5) Encourage your wife and support her in anything she wants to do. Learn to operate as a team and support each other. But as the man you be the first to show your support and encouragement and it will come back to you.

6) Put your partner and your relationship first. Get your priorities straight.

7) Don’t just think of your own needs when lovemaking.  Aim to satisfy your wife.

Don’t cheat on your spouse. Be faithful. This is the ultimate sign of respect.

Those 8 little things form the basis of sound relationship advice for men that can  really make a big difference. Try it and see for yourself.