pRelationship

The most important element to focus on in a relationship is the interaction between the partners during their normal conversations.  Many times individuals don’t realize the  amount of negativity that’s portrayed in the course of their normal day to day conversations. The number one tip to ensure  healthy relationships IS the following:

STOP ALL SHAME, BLAME  AND CRITISM.

Be clear, specific and positive in your conversation and always remember to express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel competent—that they make a contribution and that it is noticed.  Women need to feel special and secure in their relationships.

Change you mindset from a negative one to a positive one. “Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you’re very involved with your partner’s mistakes, to a positive one, in which you catch him doing something right.”

When your relationship starts to break down, remember to call AAA:an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. Remember to say you’re sorry for what you’ve said or done to hurt or disappoint your partner. Immediately offer a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth and affection. Pledge to do something that matters to your partner. Then take action and do it.

You may be wondering just how to increase your connection with your female partner and what you can do to make her feel that special “chemistry” for you. If you serious about it we are here to offer you two dating tips that are guaranteed to help you create or even  increase the “chemistry” in your relationship.

The first tip is to listen carefully to her when she is speaking  in a conversation and be careful to use the same words and word phrases she uses to describe events and people in her past.  If she talks about her parents, use the same name she calls them “Mom, Dad, Mother, Father, etc.. ” when you refer to them. The same is true f noting the adjectives she uses to describe things.  Whatever she says, make sure you say the same thing and describe things the same way.

The second step  is similar to the first but involves noticing the body language her exhibits when you’re with her. If she has a casual posture then that should be your posture when you are with her.  If she’s more excited and energetic then you should be the same way. As she changes her body language you make sure yu keep up  an mirror her body language as best you can.  Just be sure that you are not too obvious

Remember chemistry “happens” between people  who, unbeknownst to even themselves, have a basis of similarity.

So you’ve decided that you want to settle down and get serious about your relationship. You may be looking for someone who just may be around throughout your lifetime. Here are a few dating tips and things to keep in mind to make your journey a little easier.

1)Set realistic and achievable goals. Make your intentions clear. Maybe you want to make two or three new good friends in the next year.  That’s a good place to start.

2)Define your criteria. What exactly do you want? Make a list of things you want in your soon to be partner. Be specific and thorough.

3)Know your limits.  List your non-negotiables, the things that just wont tolerate.  Don’t be afraid to draw the line.

4)Interview well, ask good questions and wait and see if their actions match their words. Remember time will tell if the person is really who they pretend to be. Take note of any signs of contradiction.

5)Dont compromise or settle (even if you’re bored or desperate, you’ll be sorry you did!).

6)Be truthful, even when its uncomfortable, better now than later.

7)Set your boundaries regarding money, men, and all things sacred!

8)Don’t be selfish in your approach. Give as much as you get and make sure it flows the other way too!

9)Relax. Take your time, no need to rush. Don’t be in such a hurry to make things work.  Getting to know a new friend is fun and should be savored, and trust is built over time

10) Most of all, be real, be yourself, and have some fun!

And remember, great relationships, including friendships, begin within! Be happy and enjoy your life. Don’t wait until you’ve found your friend to enjoy yourself.  Enjoy yourself and let them join you while you enjoy them.

Finding friends is, in many cases, no easy task; especially given the culture we live in. The cell phone, text messaging, Facebook and Twitter based friendships have defined a new level of relationships.  Finding your friends isn’t as easy as it seems but, like all good things, is definitely worth the work!

So, how do you tell if someone is the right material to be your new boyfriend or girlfriend? The same signals arise when it comes to friendship as they do in an intimate relationship. Its safe to say that we are looking for many of the same things in a friendship that we are looking for in a relationship. Here are some relationship advice on things you should look for and take note of when in the hunt:

1)Someone you enjoy spending time with. (you actually like)

2)Someone you have something in common with

3)Someone who listens to you and someone you can stand to listening to

4)Someone who shows genuine interest in you and your happiness

5)Someone who can tolerate your weaknesses and your quirks

6)Someone who will stand up for you and has your back if need be

7)Someone you can count on and is dependable

8)Someone who tells the truth even if you don’t want to hear it (with compassion when needed)

9)Someone who doesn’t care if you’re overweight and can see you for who you are and not what you look like

10)Someone who can love you unconditionally

Finding these select few can take some weeding out. The only way to do it is to take a chance and get to know people. You never know when you will find Mr or Ms right and surprisingly enough they just might be right around the next corner. So get out and take a walk, smile and say Hello.

It’s been said that it’s not disagreement that causes unhappiness, but its disappointment and anger.  If we learn to eliminate those feelings in ourselves, not only will we be happier, but we can virtually eliminate conflict in our relationships since our partners will find it difficult to stay in conflict with us when we are loving and happy.  So the key method of eliminating anger will be the subject of our current discussion ad hopefully this information will help you eliminate relationship problems.

Every time you find yourself becoming irritated or unhappy, take one of the following steps. They can be taken in any order and repeated as often as you like.

Be Quiet -  Why would you knowingly destroy your own happiness or the love you want in your relationship? But that’s what you do every time you speak to your partner in anger. When you’re angry you will never say anything loving or productive, so therefore, when you’re angry, DO NOT SPEAK.

Be Wrong - You cannot keep up your end of a conflict when you admit that you’re wrong. When you admit that you’re wrong, the fire of the conflict will die for a lack of fuel. So any time you feel disappointment or anger, repeat, “if I’m disappointed or angry, I’m wrong” and you won’t be able to maintain those feelings for long.

Feel loved - Remember that you are loved. We become afraid in a conflict, and subsequently react in anger, only when we don’t feel loved. When we are absolutely certain that we are loved the disagreements and anger of other people are no longer threatening to us. If we feel loved we won’t become afraid and we’ll have no need to get angry.

Get Loved - Sometimes remembering that you are loved is not enough.  You may need to feel loved in the present. You may need to call a loving friend and experience the love personally to eliminate the anger. Find someone who you can talk to honestly and tell the truth about yourself and create the opportunity to feel love unconditionally.

Be Loving - Do something loving. Eliminate your anger by choosing to do something unconditionally loving.  Perform an act of service, have a friendly conversation, thank your partner, touch your partner, tell him/her you love them.  When you’re angry at your partner, you may not feel like doing something loving for him or her. But if you do it anyway, you’ll create an opportunity for both of you to feel the miracle of love in your lives.

People are always wondering what they should  do to find their true love and their ultimate soulmate. Many are under the impression that they can just do nothing and that the soulmate will appear out of nowhere and sweep them away.  Others expect soulmates to hit them like lightning out of the blue. They go on looking, while the perfect partner is right there with them every day, listening to them, being available,  and being fully trusting. For those of you who think this way or find themselves in this situation I have news for you. You need to wake up and smell the coffee!  You are about to miss out on one of the most rewarding and life changing experiences of your life. Your true Soulmate.

The key to finding your soulmate is first identifying what a soulmate really is.  It’s very hard to find something when you don’t know what it is or even what it looks like.  So first lets define what a soulmate really is.  A soulmate is first and foremost a best friend. Someone who makes you feel comfortable and is trustable.  So my simple love tip is this, if you have a best friend that is available for a deeper relationship, maybe you should think about him or her. It might be time to realize that those traits that make your friend so perfect are the same traits a soulmate would share.

Many women don’t understand why their partner, or significant other, needs admiration. Women in general thrive on affection and basic appreciation, yet the men tend to share a relationship which can easily be  fueled by simple  admiration.  If you are a woman in a relationship, and you find yourself having challenges with strengthening that relationship, I submit to you that it could be that you need to display more admiration towards your significant other.

It may be hard to understand just why he needs admiration, but it is something that you will need to accept.   So if you are serious about strengthening your relationship I suggest you use these basic strategies and relationship tips on how to display your admiration for him.

It is important that you take into consideration the distinct emotional differences between men and women. At an early age most men are urged to perform at high capacities and to provide their very best effort in all of their endeavors. This is typically evident when it comes to sports,  competitions, academics, and work in general.  They develop what is considered a “fix it” type of persona that motivates them to push forward, to conquer every adversary, to solve every problem. When in a relationship, it is important for a man to feel as if he is needed and appreciated by his significant other.  We call this the “Knight in shining armor” attitude.

Therefore, it is essential that you work to ensure that you accept your man for who he is as a person. All too often, women will become involved in a relationship and will push their significant other to become who they feel that they should be. In all actuality, this can actually push a man away emotionally and lead to other types of complications in the relationship.

it is important to understand that the feeling of being appreciated is essential for a man’s emotional health. When you make him feel that you are thankful for the efforts that he makes, the goals that he accomplishes, and just for being him it literally makes his day.

Fro most men, being special in their own right is more important that the money he brings in from working long hours, the position that he has at work, or who won the big football game he has been looking forward to. It makes him feel god about who he is as an individual, and it generates happiness. So, if you want to make your man feel admired, try the following:

1. Take the time to say thank you to your significant other. Inform them that you are glad that they are who they are, and brag a little on their accomplishments and abilities. This will make them really feel admired by you. If you don’t take the time to say something he may be soon drawn towards someone else who will.

2. When handling a tough problem at work, with friends, with relatives, or around the house, sit down and ask your significant other for advice and how they would handle it. All too many times, women have a knack for taking on the world and solving their own issues. If you pull in your significant other to help, you will show them that you appreciate their input. Even if you know the right solution, let him figure it out and compliment him on it.

3. Include your man in on important decisions. Allow the decisions to be handled in your way and his. If the decision turns out to be the right one, Give him the credit for making the right choice. Let him know how much you appreciate him and his decision making skills.  Compliment him on being a great leader.  If you do he will soon become one.

Understanding why he needs admiration may be a challenge but just accepting it and using the strategies outlined here can have a positive impact on your relationship. Of course, there are other steps you need to build a healthy relationship.  So, visit my web site to learn more at:  www.prelationship.com

Although sex may seem to be a  natural addition to a healthy relationship between two people who are in love, beware, for it can also become a powerful and dangerous source of imitation love.  In the absence of true love, we desperately want to be valued for something, and many times we settle for sexual attractiveness and being wanted sexually as an acceptable substitute.  We easily confuse the attention and the flattery of someone wanting sex as an indication that the person loves you.  However we fail to realize that when the thrill is gone, we will be soon abandoned to find entertainment and sexual gratification somewhere else.

It is easy to become confused in your pursuit of true love. If you experience the pleasures of sex with someone early in a relationship, before you get to know the person, you soon lose your sense of what’s true and what’s not. You cannot easily distinguish whether you genuinely care about your partner’s happiness (i.e. true love) or you simply enjoy the way he or she pleases you sexually (i.e. imitation love).  The danger of premature sex is that it is so enjoyable that when you get enough of it, you think you are truly happy and you quickly discontinue your search for true happiness and love.

When two people care about each other’s happiness in a committed, exclusive relationship - marriage - physical intimacy becomes a natural expression of love and great fun. However, when two people are involved sexually outside of a marriage relationship, it is often difficult to determine if the relationship is built on mutual care and love for each other or just on the benefits of sexual pleasure.  One easy test of the reality of your love for each other is simple, stop having sex with your partner and tell the truth about yourself and your concern for your partners happiness.  Then determine if your relationship is stable or if you need to move on in search of true love.

Let’s begin with a question that really gets to the heart of the matter. If most of us have never experienced either giving or receiving Real Love, how do we learn to recognize it and how do we begin to make the choices that will bring it into our lives? This can happen for all of us if we follow these four simple process steps to Real Love relationships.

Step 1.  TRUTH

Only when we set aside our getting behavior (getting people to like us) and our protecting behavior (Protecting ourselves from being hurt) and tell the truth about ourselves can we create the opportunity for others to see who we really are.

Step 2.  SEEN

Only when we are willing to step out and be seen for who we really are will others be willing to do the same. Real people attract real people.

Step 3.  ACCEPTED

Only when we are seen for who we are can we feel genuinely accepted and only then can we believe that other people truly care about our happiness and well being.

Step 4.  LOVE

Only when we tell the truth about ourselves, especially about our mistakes and flaws, can we feel unconditionally accepted and loved. Then and only then can we share the love we have with others and participate in a loving relationship.

As you learn more about the characteristics of Real Love, begin to tell the truth about yourself, and experience the giving and receiving of unconditional acceptance, it will become increasingly easier for you to recognize and find Real Love.

Researchers have derived a magic relationship ratio that allows them to very accurately predict the probability of a relationship lasting based on the amount of Negative vs. Positive interaction. See the above video for details. Researchers all conclude that the primary reason for failed marriages is the lack of communication and more importantly the lack of positive communication. Couples seldom take the time to learn how to communicate and listen to one another effectively. Throughout the marriage there will be times when conversation will be required. These are the conversations that you both may not want to talk about.  Here are a few marriage tips and strategies you can use when you have to talk.

1) Avoid Negative and non-productive Comments. Some things are better left unsaid if they will elicit negative feelings and emotions. If you respond to one another without really thinking first about how it might sound to your partner, start thinking before allowing the negativity to take over.

2) Recognize the difference between thoughts and emotional (not physical) feelings. Accept that feelings of your partner neither right nor wrong. It’s the behavior that results because of the feeling that makes the difference whether right or wrong.  Rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it. Don’t say things like ‘Don’t worry, be happy’ or ‘You shouldn’t feel that way.’

3) Learn to agreeably disagree.  The key to not allowing these disagreements create hostility in your marriage or to hurt your marriage.  Know when to agree to disagree.  Don’t fight to win. Fight for your marriage.

4) Accept the fact that you can’t change your partner. Besides that not your job anyway. You can only change yourself and your own reactions. Changing your own behavior may trigger your spouse to want to make changes.

5) Love covers a multitude of sins.  Learn to walk in love and overlook the shortcomings of others. Look at your mate through the lens of love and you will  see only the best qualities.  Add a pinch of grace to every marriage decision and you will find your marriage getting better and better.