pRelationship

When it come to business and financial goals, they are usually clearly defined and we take concrete measures to achieve them, however most have never clearly defined our goals when it comes to the qualities we look for in a lifelong partner. In the vast amount of relationship tips and advice that is currently circulating, these 5 separate steps summarize the steps required to make our relationship dreams and goals a reality, and that is just as important, if not more so, then our business and financial life goals.

Techniques for the design and implementation of the objectives of the relationship is similar to the traditional business and financial objectives. Experts in the science of success know the brain is an organism that is goal-seeking in nature. Whatever the message sent to the subconscious mind, the mind can work tirelessly to achieve.

Step 1: Define
Get clarity on your relationship goals by writing them out in detail, as specifically as possible with a desired, realistic time-line.  Remember, vague goals will produce vague results. Instead of simply stating: I would like spend my life with the right man, become clear on the character traits that you absolutely have to have in a husband and your relationship goal and write it down in as much detail as possible. A clearly defined goal could be: I will be married to a man of high integrity, who is emotionally mature, respects and loves me, and who is professionally accomplished, by December 2012.

Step 2: Believe
You must believe wholeheartedly that your goals  can be achieved.  Once your goals are written down,  read them two to three times every day. This daily discipline will activate the power of your desire.

Step 3: Visualize
Visualization is another powerful way to reinforce your goal upon your subconscious mind. You may want to create a vision book and illustrate your written goal with pictures and images that depict your goal as already achieved. You can also play your vision like a movie in your head by simply closing your eyes, relaxing and creating the mental images of your desired future.

Step 4: Focus
You must learn to focus on your goals daily. If  your goal is to attract a handsome, athletic and accomplished man, you are not likely to meet him sitting at your apartment or hanging out at your girlfriends house.  In order to attract the right person, focus on being the best you can be, then determine where the type of person you are hoping to meet would most likely spend their free time.  Athletes work out at the gym, rather than hitting the local bars after work.

Step 5: Take Action
The final step is to take action.  Nothing happens until you take action. If you are haven’t gotten over your last relationship, get some counseling or relationship coaching. If you haven’t had a date in the last 9 months, join some social group. Most importantly, quit waiting and procrastinating. Do something and do it now. Take action and 2010 will likely be your best year ever.

Building trust in a relationship is something that never stops, and you should prepare to do it for the length of your relationship.  Trust is built over time and must be maintained.  While you might already have some idea of what it is and what it is not, this article will give a few relationship tips that should be helpful while you build it.

For example, its been said that variety is the spice of life and a little goes a long way. However,  the truth is that when it comes to building trust, focusing on the contrary,  is more likely to improve the level of trust in your relationship.

So let’s look at seven top factors that may increase the special bond between two people:

Relationship Trust Building Tips

- Be Reliable. Your reliability  from day to day is essential. Spicing things up is good, and adds something to the partnership, but being reliable and predictable is the key when it comes to building trust.

- Make sure your words and actions line up. If you talk to a partner, make sure that what you say is in line with your body language and your voice.  Do not tell the good things and you’re body language is gloomy while you express it. The words must be to meet the body’s expression.

- Have faith. Have faith in the competence of your partner. You may love them, but have a sarcastic air of arrogance when it comes to their ability to achieve and do things. This quickly deteriorates the relationship and anger is a common result.

- Be open. Be careful about keeping secrets from each other. For example, when a telephone rings you need to suddenly leave the room, so the partner can not hear what you are saying. Not good. Over time, this leads to dis-trust in each other.

- Be clear. Always let your partner know in clear terms what your needs are. Avoid making them figure out what you need. This is annoying, irritating and self-centered behavior and can cause your relationship to quickly grow old.

- Speak up. Be strong.  Do not be afraid to say no to your partner, if you feel what is being done or said does not agree with you. Being a push over or a “yes person” is not a good thing.

- Promote growth. Trust in a relationship implies the pursuit of growth. Do not be alarmed by a sudden crisis or get overcome by the day to day issues that may arise. Even the best relationships have problems from time to time. They are the catalysts of growth and are essential for  strengthening the relationship.

The most important element to focus on in a relationship is the interaction between the partners during their normal conversations.  Many times individuals don’t realize the  amount of negativity that’s portrayed in the course of their normal day to day conversations. The number one tip to ensure  healthy relationships IS the following:

STOP ALL SHAME, BLAME  AND CRITISM.

Be clear, specific and positive in your conversation and always remember to express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel competent—that they make a contribution and that it is noticed.  Women need to feel special and secure in their relationships.

Change you mindset from a negative one to a positive one. “Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you’re very involved with your partner’s mistakes, to a positive one, in which you catch him doing something right.”

When your relationship starts to break down, remember to call AAA:an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. Remember to say you’re sorry for what you’ve said or done to hurt or disappoint your partner. Immediately offer a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth and affection. Pledge to do something that matters to your partner. Then take action and do it.

You may be wondering just how to increase your connection with your female partner and what you can do to make her feel that special “chemistry” for you. If you serious about it we are here to offer you two dating tips that are guaranteed to help you create or even  increase the “chemistry” in your relationship.

The first tip is to listen carefully to her when she is speaking  in a conversation and be careful to use the same words and word phrases she uses to describe events and people in her past.  If she talks about her parents, use the same name she calls them “Mom, Dad, Mother, Father, etc.. ” when you refer to them. The same is true f noting the adjectives she uses to describe things.  Whatever she says, make sure you say the same thing and describe things the same way.

The second step  is similar to the first but involves noticing the body language her exhibits when you’re with her. If she has a casual posture then that should be your posture when you are with her.  If she’s more excited and energetic then you should be the same way. As she changes her body language you make sure yu keep up  an mirror her body language as best you can.  Just be sure that you are not too obvious

Remember chemistry “happens” between people  who, unbeknownst to even themselves, have a basis of similarity.

Finding friends is, in many cases, no easy task; especially given the culture we live in. The cell phone, text messaging, Facebook and Twitter based friendships have defined a new level of relationships.  Finding your friends isn’t as easy as it seems but, like all good things, is definitely worth the work!

So, how do you tell if someone is the right material to be your new boyfriend or girlfriend? The same signals arise when it comes to friendship as they do in an intimate relationship. Its safe to say that we are looking for many of the same things in a friendship that we are looking for in a relationship. Here are some relationship advice on things you should look for and take note of when in the hunt:

1)Someone you enjoy spending time with. (you actually like)

2)Someone you have something in common with

3)Someone who listens to you and someone you can stand to listening to

4)Someone who shows genuine interest in you and your happiness

5)Someone who can tolerate your weaknesses and your quirks

6)Someone who will stand up for you and has your back if need be

7)Someone you can count on and is dependable

8)Someone who tells the truth even if you don’t want to hear it (with compassion when needed)

9)Someone who doesn’t care if you’re overweight and can see you for who you are and not what you look like

10)Someone who can love you unconditionally

Finding these select few can take some weeding out. The only way to do it is to take a chance and get to know people. You never know when you will find Mr or Ms right and surprisingly enough they just might be right around the next corner. So get out and take a walk, smile and say Hello.

It’s been said that it’s not disagreement that causes unhappiness, but its disappointment and anger.  If we learn to eliminate those feelings in ourselves, not only will we be happier, but we can virtually eliminate conflict in our relationships since our partners will find it difficult to stay in conflict with us when we are loving and happy.  So the key method of eliminating anger will be the subject of our current discussion ad hopefully this information will help you eliminate relationship problems.

Every time you find yourself becoming irritated or unhappy, take one of the following steps. They can be taken in any order and repeated as often as you like.

Be Quiet -  Why would you knowingly destroy your own happiness or the love you want in your relationship? But that’s what you do every time you speak to your partner in anger. When you’re angry you will never say anything loving or productive, so therefore, when you’re angry, DO NOT SPEAK.

Be Wrong - You cannot keep up your end of a conflict when you admit that you’re wrong. When you admit that you’re wrong, the fire of the conflict will die for a lack of fuel. So any time you feel disappointment or anger, repeat, “if I’m disappointed or angry, I’m wrong” and you won’t be able to maintain those feelings for long.

Feel loved - Remember that you are loved. We become afraid in a conflict, and subsequently react in anger, only when we don’t feel loved. When we are absolutely certain that we are loved the disagreements and anger of other people are no longer threatening to us. If we feel loved we won’t become afraid and we’ll have no need to get angry.

Get Loved - Sometimes remembering that you are loved is not enough.  You may need to feel loved in the present. You may need to call a loving friend and experience the love personally to eliminate the anger. Find someone who you can talk to honestly and tell the truth about yourself and create the opportunity to feel love unconditionally.

Be Loving - Do something loving. Eliminate your anger by choosing to do something unconditionally loving.  Perform an act of service, have a friendly conversation, thank your partner, touch your partner, tell him/her you love them.  When you’re angry at your partner, you may not feel like doing something loving for him or her. But if you do it anyway, you’ll create an opportunity for both of you to feel the miracle of love in your lives.

Taking an “Are you ready for marriage” quiz is a good starting point to find out if you’re prepared to tie the knot, or if your better off waiting. Although the results of the seemingly vague questions will likely give you a sense of relief it is intended to make you think about things that you may not have given much thought to. Many of these little things can sometimes blow up into a big issue later in the marriage.

Although the typical “are you ready for marriage” quiz is usually meant for entertainment and can be a lot of fun, the problem occurs when people take them too seriously. A woman, especially, who is desperate to find a mate and settle down, will look at the questionnaire, manipulate the answers to suit herself, and end up marrying the first available man who comes along. Big mistake! The whole idea of the quiz is that you provide honest answers and really think about the questions and your commitment level to the relationship. The questions are usually focused on the main issues that everyone needs to address before they get married. These issues include the following:

1. Your ability to compromise (not be selfish)
2. Your willingness to let go of control (submit to each other)
3. Your life focus and your similar and compatible life goals
4. Financial stability (necessary resources)
5. Agreement on Issues: religion, kids, family, and commitment
6. Awareness of your partner’s quirks and willingness to accept them
7. Level of trust and openness to discuss anything in the relationship
8. Ability to handle conflict and disagreements without fighting
9. Freedom from all of your past relationships
10. Faith in your relationship (commitment to make it work)

Asking and addressing the tough questions before saying “I do” can help ensure the marriage is long-lasting and fulfilling.

Many women don’t understand why their partner, or significant other, needs admiration. Women in general thrive on affection and basic appreciation, yet the men tend to share a relationship which can easily be  fueled by simple  admiration.  If you are a woman in a relationship, and you find yourself having challenges with strengthening that relationship, I submit to you that it could be that you need to display more admiration towards your significant other.

It may be hard to understand just why he needs admiration, but it is something that you will need to accept.   So if you are serious about strengthening your relationship I suggest you use these basic strategies and relationship tips on how to display your admiration for him.

It is important that you take into consideration the distinct emotional differences between men and women. At an early age most men are urged to perform at high capacities and to provide their very best effort in all of their endeavors. This is typically evident when it comes to sports,  competitions, academics, and work in general.  They develop what is considered a “fix it” type of persona that motivates them to push forward, to conquer every adversary, to solve every problem. When in a relationship, it is important for a man to feel as if he is needed and appreciated by his significant other.  We call this the “Knight in shining armor” attitude.

Therefore, it is essential that you work to ensure that you accept your man for who he is as a person. All too often, women will become involved in a relationship and will push their significant other to become who they feel that they should be. In all actuality, this can actually push a man away emotionally and lead to other types of complications in the relationship.

it is important to understand that the feeling of being appreciated is essential for a man’s emotional health. When you make him feel that you are thankful for the efforts that he makes, the goals that he accomplishes, and just for being him it literally makes his day.

Fro most men, being special in their own right is more important that the money he brings in from working long hours, the position that he has at work, or who won the big football game he has been looking forward to. It makes him feel god about who he is as an individual, and it generates happiness. So, if you want to make your man feel admired, try the following:

1. Take the time to say thank you to your significant other. Inform them that you are glad that they are who they are, and brag a little on their accomplishments and abilities. This will make them really feel admired by you. If you don’t take the time to say something he may be soon drawn towards someone else who will.

2. When handling a tough problem at work, with friends, with relatives, or around the house, sit down and ask your significant other for advice and how they would handle it. All too many times, women have a knack for taking on the world and solving their own issues. If you pull in your significant other to help, you will show them that you appreciate their input. Even if you know the right solution, let him figure it out and compliment him on it.

3. Include your man in on important decisions. Allow the decisions to be handled in your way and his. If the decision turns out to be the right one, Give him the credit for making the right choice. Let him know how much you appreciate him and his decision making skills.  Compliment him on being a great leader.  If you do he will soon become one.

Understanding why he needs admiration may be a challenge but just accepting it and using the strategies outlined here can have a positive impact on your relationship. Of course, there are other steps you need to build a healthy relationship.  So, visit my web site to learn more at:  www.prelationship.com

Although sex may seem to be a  natural addition to a healthy relationship between two people who are in love, beware, for it can also become a powerful and dangerous source of imitation love.  In the absence of true love, we desperately want to be valued for something, and many times we settle for sexual attractiveness and being wanted sexually as an acceptable substitute.  We easily confuse the attention and the flattery of someone wanting sex as an indication that the person loves you.  However we fail to realize that when the thrill is gone, we will be soon abandoned to find entertainment and sexual gratification somewhere else.

It is easy to become confused in your pursuit of true love. If you experience the pleasures of sex with someone early in a relationship, before you get to know the person, you soon lose your sense of what’s true and what’s not. You cannot easily distinguish whether you genuinely care about your partner’s happiness (i.e. true love) or you simply enjoy the way he or she pleases you sexually (i.e. imitation love).  The danger of premature sex is that it is so enjoyable that when you get enough of it, you think you are truly happy and you quickly discontinue your search for true happiness and love.

When two people care about each other’s happiness in a committed, exclusive relationship - marriage - physical intimacy becomes a natural expression of love and great fun. However, when two people are involved sexually outside of a marriage relationship, it is often difficult to determine if the relationship is built on mutual care and love for each other or just on the benefits of sexual pleasure.  One easy test of the reality of your love for each other is simple, stop having sex with your partner and tell the truth about yourself and your concern for your partners happiness.  Then determine if your relationship is stable or if you need to move on in search of true love.

Believe it or not, of the 2 million marriages to be performed this year, more than one-third of them will end in divorce or annulment.  Even sadder still is the estimate that about 30 percent remain together - unhappily.

Indeed marrying the right person and maintaining a honeymoon romance is no easy matter. Even when  glaring incompatibilities exist not even the wisdom of Solomon could persuade lovers lost in white heat to abandon their plans to tie the knot.  So if you or someone you know is in love and about to take the plunge, here is a quiz that I found that may help to predict how things will work out. Whatever the outcome, you still may need some marriage tips and advice to ensure a healthy marriage.

To take the quiz answer True or false to each one of these questions.

1. We will have courted for less than six months before we marry.

2. We are both over the age of 21.

3. We have mutual friends of both sexes.

4. One of us does not desire children, so we won’t have kids.

5. There’s a big difference in our levels of education.

6. We are both religious.

7. Our parents and friends approve of our marriage.

8. We are both free of sexual hang-ups.

9. Our income is enough to live on without outside help.

10. We have broken off temporarily three or more times

11. We are close to each of our parents.

12. We both were popular among our peers when we were young.

13. There are fewer than one in twenty divorces in both our families.

14. We get along with our inlaws.

15. We showed obedience toward significant adults when we were young.

To tally your score give yourself 1 point for every response that matches yours.

1. False  2. True  3. True  4. False  5. False  6. True  7. True  8. True  9. True  10. False  11. True  12. True  13. True  14. True  15. True

If you scored between 12 and 15 points - You chances of a blissful marriage are good.

If you scored between 7 and 11 points - You have an average grasp on what it takes to make it work.

If you scored between 0 and 6 points - You may have to work hard in your relationship in order to keep it healthy.