pRelationship

Many women don’t understand why their partner, or significant other, needs admiration. Women in general thrive on affection and basic appreciation, yet the men tend to share a relationship which can easily be  fueled by simple  admiration.  If you are a woman in a relationship, and you find yourself having challenges with strengthening that relationship, I submit to you that it could be that you need to display more admiration towards your significant other.

It may be hard to understand just why he needs admiration, but it is something that you will need to accept.   So if you are serious about strengthening your relationship I suggest you use these basic strategies and relationship tips on how to display your admiration for him.

It is important that you take into consideration the distinct emotional differences between men and women. At an early age most men are urged to perform at high capacities and to provide their very best effort in all of their endeavors. This is typically evident when it comes to sports,  competitions, academics, and work in general.  They develop what is considered a “fix it” type of persona that motivates them to push forward, to conquer every adversary, to solve every problem. When in a relationship, it is important for a man to feel as if he is needed and appreciated by his significant other.  We call this the “Knight in shining armor” attitude.

Therefore, it is essential that you work to ensure that you accept your man for who he is as a person. All too often, women will become involved in a relationship and will push their significant other to become who they feel that they should be. In all actuality, this can actually push a man away emotionally and lead to other types of complications in the relationship.

it is important to understand that the feeling of being appreciated is essential for a man’s emotional health. When you make him feel that you are thankful for the efforts that he makes, the goals that he accomplishes, and just for being him it literally makes his day.

Fro most men, being special in their own right is more important that the money he brings in from working long hours, the position that he has at work, or who won the big football game he has been looking forward to. It makes him feel god about who he is as an individual, and it generates happiness. So, if you want to make your man feel admired, try the following:

1. Take the time to say thank you to your significant other. Inform them that you are glad that they are who they are, and brag a little on their accomplishments and abilities. This will make them really feel admired by you. If you don’t take the time to say something he may be soon drawn towards someone else who will.

2. When handling a tough problem at work, with friends, with relatives, or around the house, sit down and ask your significant other for advice and how they would handle it. All too many times, women have a knack for taking on the world and solving their own issues. If you pull in your significant other to help, you will show them that you appreciate their input. Even if you know the right solution, let him figure it out and compliment him on it.

3. Include your man in on important decisions. Allow the decisions to be handled in your way and his. If the decision turns out to be the right one, Give him the credit for making the right choice. Let him know how much you appreciate him and his decision making skills.  Compliment him on being a great leader.  If you do he will soon become one.

Understanding why he needs admiration may be a challenge but just accepting it and using the strategies outlined here can have a positive impact on your relationship. Of course, there are other steps you need to build a healthy relationship.  So, visit my web site to learn more at:  www.prelationship.com

Although sex may seem to be a  natural addition to a healthy relationship between two people who are in love, beware, for it can also become a powerful and dangerous source of imitation love.  In the absence of true love, we desperately want to be valued for something, and many times we settle for sexual attractiveness and being wanted sexually as an acceptable substitute.  We easily confuse the attention and the flattery of someone wanting sex as an indication that the person loves you.  However we fail to realize that when the thrill is gone, we will be soon abandoned to find entertainment and sexual gratification somewhere else.

It is easy to become confused in your pursuit of true love. If you experience the pleasures of sex with someone early in a relationship, before you get to know the person, you soon lose your sense of what’s true and what’s not. You cannot easily distinguish whether you genuinely care about your partner’s happiness (i.e. true love) or you simply enjoy the way he or she pleases you sexually (i.e. imitation love).  The danger of premature sex is that it is so enjoyable that when you get enough of it, you think you are truly happy and you quickly discontinue your search for true happiness and love.

When two people care about each other’s happiness in a committed, exclusive relationship - marriage - physical intimacy becomes a natural expression of love and great fun. However, when two people are involved sexually outside of a marriage relationship, it is often difficult to determine if the relationship is built on mutual care and love for each other or just on the benefits of sexual pleasure.  One easy test of the reality of your love for each other is simple, stop having sex with your partner and tell the truth about yourself and your concern for your partners happiness.  Then determine if your relationship is stable or if you need to move on in search of true love.

Believe it or not, of the 2 million marriages to be performed this year, more than one-third of them will end in divorce or annulment.  Even sadder still is the estimate that about 30 percent remain together - unhappily.

Indeed marrying the right person and maintaining a honeymoon romance is no easy matter. Even when  glaring incompatibilities exist not even the wisdom of Solomon could persuade lovers lost in white heat to abandon their plans to tie the knot.  So if you or someone you know is in love and about to take the plunge, here is a quiz that I found that may help to predict how things will work out. Whatever the outcome, you still may need some marriage tips and advice to ensure a healthy marriage.

To take the quiz answer True or false to each one of these questions.

1. We will have courted for less than six months before we marry.

2. We are both over the age of 21.

3. We have mutual friends of both sexes.

4. One of us does not desire children, so we won’t have kids.

5. There’s a big difference in our levels of education.

6. We are both religious.

7. Our parents and friends approve of our marriage.

8. We are both free of sexual hang-ups.

9. Our income is enough to live on without outside help.

10. We have broken off temporarily three or more times

11. We are close to each of our parents.

12. We both were popular among our peers when we were young.

13. There are fewer than one in twenty divorces in both our families.

14. We get along with our inlaws.

15. We showed obedience toward significant adults when we were young.

To tally your score give yourself 1 point for every response that matches yours.

1. False  2. True  3. True  4. False  5. False  6. True  7. True  8. True  9. True  10. False  11. True  12. True  13. True  14. True  15. True

If you scored between 12 and 15 points - You chances of a blissful marriage are good.

If you scored between 7 and 11 points - You have an average grasp on what it takes to make it work.

If you scored between 0 and 6 points - You may have to work hard in your relationship in order to keep it healthy.

For a glimpse of what the future between you and your love one might be, a marriage compatibility test is a humorous and most times fair take. There is no question that relationships change with the passage of time. There is also no doubt that as far as relationships go, marriage is by far the most important — the big one. A marriage is an eternal union between two people. This is why it is important to determine that the two of you are, for most parts, compatible with each other.

But the results of some marriage compatibility tests do not always carry the true sense of the future. Just because a husband is a fan of football and his wife prefers to watch the cooking channel — the facts do not suggest definite failure and eminent doom. However, there is no question that a couple will find living together if they happen to share certain common interests.

For instance, a marriage with two people who enjoy going on adventurous trip will have better avenues for the couple to express themselves than another marriage between an introvert and an extrovert. And in the category of temperaments, two hot tempered people will be less likely to enjoy ‘happy ever after’ bliss than a union with varying tempers.

These days there are many sites that offer various ways of assessing your compatibility. Compatibility tests are common features of magazines and tabloids (found right after the article on getting over a break up. Different opinions are given to what the perfect merger between two people should entail. A man who enjoys throwing his socks on the fan will probably not be a good mate for a woman who takes pride in the orderliness of her home.

For the more daring, there are astrologers who are willing to peer into your universe and inform you of whether your stars are aligned right for Utopia or just poised on the brink of Armageddon.

In the end though, whilst marriage compatibility plays a role in the future of marriages it is not the yardstick by which marriage successes are judged. The fact that a test suggests that you might be partially incompatible is no reason to begin considering how to break-up. It is not impossible for two hot tempered people to live together and therein lie the unique advantage of Marriage compatibility.

By being able to foresee the areas where you might have compatibility issues you will be able to prepare or adjust to the scenario when it happens. If you know your wife will get depressed because of your flying socks then you can consider an alternative, like doing without socks.

Whatever your decision is, there is no denying the usefulness of marriage compatibility tests, and the eternal joy that can be found in a successful marriage.

Here are some tips for women who may be looking for reasons why her man is being so distant.  One of the biggest mistakes women make that causes men to leave is to overload the relationship with drama.  Women tend to bring too much “drama” into the relationship.  Men want to feel good and want to be around a woman that makes them feel good about themselves  and a woman who feels good about her own life in general.

Did you know that a woman’s smile is considered by men to be one of the most sexy things about a woman (as confirmed by a university study wherein they surveyed hundreds of men about what makes a woman attractive to them).  A woman’s smile tells a man that they are pleased with him and with her life.  If women really knew and understood this they would be smiling all the time!

So many times, however, women tend to bring unnecessary drama into their relationship.    It’s been noted that “Some women are more predisposed to drama than others — often finding occasions to manufacture the drama, much like a screenwriter purposely adds conflict to a story to make a screenplay more interesting.”  I think this is may be a true statement about the majority of women.

The drama usually involves talking about their feelings and expressing their emotions — and men generally flee from such.  There are four words in the English language that cause immediate dread in a man’s heart. Those words are a woman telling him, “We need to talk.”  His usual reaction is “Oh no, what did I do now?” or “Oh <#@!$%>, not again!”  Talking about feelings and expressing  emotions — especially when it comes to relationships — is not something a man ranks high on his “feel good” chart.

Men are programmed to run from emotions — especially intense emotions.  An occasional emotion-packed event or conversation is usually tolerable to a man, but when it becomes a constant pattern and you habitually involve him in ongoing drama,  hs only recourse is to try to escape from the source of that drama — that is, you!  So “Save the Drama for your Mama” and save your relationship too!

Most of us are so desperate to be in a relationship that we often don’t wait to find out if we are in a healthy relationship. Television dramas, romantic comedies, and books have turned many of us into a generation of women longing for love and often finding it in all the wrong places. The problem is not limited to women - an increasing number of men are reporting what everyone has suspected for long - that men too have their share of relationship problems!
A healthy relationship is one where both partners feel loved, respected, and secure. It allows two people to grow without growing apart. It allows them to nurture each other without losing their own identity or personal space. Many romances start out based on looks, wealth, social status, or even the car you are driving. While these are not predictors of a bad relationship, they may not help you have a healthy relationship unless you can build a solid foundation based on trust, respect, and mutual give and take. Here Are Things That Make A Healthy Relationship:

Respect: Before the heady chemistry, comes respect as a determiner of the health of a relationship. Don’t get into the often virulent and destructive “passionate romance” obsession until you are sure your partner respects you.

Trust: Not able to trust the other person to not cheat on you, not swipe your credit card for shopping, or even keep their promise of meeting you for lunch? Rethink the relationship.

Sharing: This includes a whole range of things - from material possessions to thoughts, time, feelings, joys, doubts, memories…the list is endless. A healthy relationship involves lots of sharing. Sharing leads to better understanding of each other and lessens conflicts.

Willingness to recognize and sort out problems: If you are not in a healthy relationship and you see that you are in a sticky situation, any attempts at conflict resolution will be useless if both partners are not willing to work on problems.

By learning what constitutes a healthy relationship, you can avoid bad relationships and strengthen the existing bond with your partner.

Researchers have derived a magic relationship ratio that allows them to very accurately predict the probability of a relationship lasting based on the amount of Negative vs. Positive interaction. See the above video for details. Researchers all conclude that the primary reason for failed marriages is the lack of communication and more importantly the lack of positive communication. Couples seldom take the time to learn how to communicate and listen to one another effectively. Throughout the marriage there will be times when conversation will be required. These are the conversations that you both may not want to talk about.  Here are a few marriage tips and strategies you can use when you have to talk.

1) Avoid Negative and non-productive Comments. Some things are better left unsaid if they will elicit negative feelings and emotions. If you respond to one another without really thinking first about how it might sound to your partner, start thinking before allowing the negativity to take over.

2) Recognize the difference between thoughts and emotional (not physical) feelings. Accept that feelings of your partner neither right nor wrong. It’s the behavior that results because of the feeling that makes the difference whether right or wrong.  Rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it. Don’t say things like ‘Don’t worry, be happy’ or ‘You shouldn’t feel that way.’

3) Learn to agreeably disagree.  The key to not allowing these disagreements create hostility in your marriage or to hurt your marriage.  Know when to agree to disagree.  Don’t fight to win. Fight for your marriage.

4) Accept the fact that you can’t change your partner. Besides that not your job anyway. You can only change yourself and your own reactions. Changing your own behavior may trigger your spouse to want to make changes.

5) Love covers a multitude of sins.  Learn to walk in love and overlook the shortcomings of others. Look at your mate through the lens of love and you will  see only the best qualities.  Add a pinch of grace to every marriage decision and you will find your marriage getting better and better.

Commitment is the key ingredient to any healthy relationship. Here is some advice for those who are asking relationship advice about getting your partner to commit to a relationship or maintaining that commitment for the long term.

When our partners do something we don’t think is right or we just don’t like, our tendency is to focus on what they did “wrong.” We criticize. We point the finger and we are often quick to point out what we deem to be their faults.  This approach ultimately leaves our partner feeling judged, hurt, and angry. Whether the relationship is new or a long term relationship, or even a marriage relationship, this behavior does not lead to a build a solid  commitment in the relationship. Instead, a good relationship can be built by showing true compassion and empathy to your partner. This leads to a willingness of the behalf of the partner to enter into long term commitment.

Compassion in it’s true sense is  similar to love but often will surpass it when it comes to wrong doing.  Compassion removes the judgment and the condemnation we place on individual differences and preferences and attempts to see the situation with understanding and from the other person’s viewpoint. It means we approach the spectrum of human qualities (good and bad) with tolerance. We allow people to grow and change and not chop them down at the first sign of wrong doing.  This shows support, encourages a sense of safety and trust, and opens honest communication. This environment is the fertile soil of  long term  commitment in any relationship.  It is the missing link to many relationships that never really get off the ground or fissile out after a short time. Its the glue that holds families together and doorway to finding your true soul mate.

I think one of the worst relationship problems is the infamous love triangle.  I heard this story from someone who was looking for love advice.  He didn’t know how it happened but somehow he found myself stuck in a serious love triangle.  He had been married for many years to his best friend at the time and had been true to his marriage vows all that time.  But after having kids and making plenty of money he got an email from his high school sweetheart who had been trying to get in touch with him for years. After the first telephone conversation he realized that he was still in love with her. His stomach got butterflies, his heart started racing, and before he knew it he was head over heels in love with this woman.  He did all he could to put on the brakes but it was too late; He was smitten!

The first chance he got to see her he did and was careful not to let his wife know. The meeting was unbelievable and of course one thing lead to another and he gave in to the passion of the moment. Now he’s trapped in this terrible love triangle.  He loves his wife, but more as a friend and he’s passionately in love with his high school sweetheart. Does anyone have any relationship advice or suggestions on what he should do?

Relationships are often like rules that are made to be broken.  They are not intended to be forever but are meant to last as long as there is mutual benefit in them.  Life is too short and too unpredictable to enter into a relationship that involves lifelong commitment. In business, no wise businessman would sign a contract that has no defined term and extends indefinitely.  Why then are we so inclined to enter a marriage relationship agreement that has no term limit?

I’m not knocking the marriage relationship, I think its great when two parties come together in marriage vows, but to agree to “til death do us part” is a bit much.  Especially when they have no control over the future events and the direction each life may take. Everything changes;  people change, directions change, lifestyles change, values change, even destinies change over the course of a lifetime and it would be naive to think that the relationship will not also change.

So what’s the most important thing in life? To arrive at your lifelong destiny and calling, to achieve a life of significance and purpose, to be fulfilled and happy, or to honor an open ended agreement or vow that you agreed to without knowing the  full consequences.  I think people need to really evaluate this and put aside the pressures of society and internal traditions and look at what the real priorites are in life.  If the current relationship prevents you from reaching your dreams then its time to think seriously about making a change.  Businesses re-negotiate contracts all the time and look for added benefit. Businesses dissolve and reform to escape existing contractual obligations and I think people deserve the same option. Life is just too short.