Archive for the 'Break up Advice' Category

How To Break-Up From A Relationship

July 29, 2009
Author: KLTBrown

breakup

Love is an incredibly beautiful thing but sometimes it just simply has to come to an end and this opens the age old dilemma—how to break up from a relationship. There are various reasons why people break up. Break up moments are usually filled with high emotions — at least for one person and associated drama. Break ups are tricky things to go through but the following break up advice could make handling the process a little easier.

Understand your reasons: Okay. So you want to break up. The first question is not really how to break up but why you want to break up. Understanding the reasons behind your break up will provide a more peaceful transition. You will also be able to explain to your partner when he or she inevitably asks you. Understanding your reasons will also provide you with closure. Knowing the reason why you could not be with a person, will prevent you from suddenly breaking into worried doubts of your possible past.

Confront your emotions. Be honest about your feelings. Most people go through a break up by trying to bottle their emotions. There is nothing wrong with doing a little soul search. There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying. Break-ups put a lot of stress on the mental and psychological will of an individual. Bottling up all the stress will just prove detrimental in the long run. By facing the situations and reasons leading up to the break up, you will be able to shorten the transition process of heartache.

Keep a distance. It is common for people who have just broken up to want to maintain some form of continued friendship. There is nothing wrong with this in the long run. But in the early weeks following a break-up it is best if you two do not spend too much time together. Early proximity will only result in resentment, anger, guilt and a possible reunion — which will prove detrimental if your reasons for a break up were noteworthy.

Getting Back in the Dating Game

April 18, 2009
Author: KLTBrown

Breaking up is sometimes hard to deal with, irrespective of whether you are strong or not. It’s can be even more challenging to get back into the dating game after a breakup. The initial problem is that you have to be psychologically fit to start dating. Try these steps for getting over a breakup and getting yourself psychologically fit so you can find your new love:

Unfinished business from the prior relationship won’t let you move on? Well, in order to overcome this obstacle you should wrap up and close out all remaining business from your past relationship. Understand that it is important and sometimes necessary for you experience all the grief and other emotions which resulted from the breakup. Remember it does take time to get it out of your system but it is good to complete the process so you can have a fresh start. Never date for revenge, to prove your eligibility or to get rid of your loneliness. Date only when you are emotionally unencumbered by your previous relationship. Don’t bring the baggage from the previous relationship into the new one.

Make sure that your career and home are in order and that you are maintaining a healthy emotional relationship with your friends and family. Never isolate yourself from your family and friends. It only makes things worse.
See to it that you feel sane, happy and that your behavior is honest and open, as there is nothing more attractive or sexier than a successful, healthy [both physical and emotional] and happy person.
Get a makeover. For an instance get a daring but stylish haircut, color your hair, pamper yourself with a pedicure, manicure and also a foot massage, lose the excess weight and get yourself some new clothes. When you look good you feel good as well. Don’t forget how much you have to offer the world and what great catch you really are. Remind yourself how special you are and that your relationship may have failed but not your life.

Make a strategic plan to find your partner and make a decision follow it. For example

* Attend all real world parties you are invited to.
* Throw a party, and insist your guests to bring a single friend along with them to the party.
* Join clubs.
* Go to dances or any other activity that you are interested in.
* Flirt.
* Date as many eligible singles as possible.
* Post up an alluring profile on any dating website.

Come out as a single person, tell your family that you are ready to date, casually tell your neighbors and friends that you are willing to start dating and make sure you remove anything which would give the wrong idea [wedding ring, pictures of your ex, etc]. Last but not least become friends with some of your dates. Friends have friends of their own, who may be your future life partner. And stay in the dating game until you find a relationship that you desire.

Let’s do this - we know that building and maintaining a relationship is hard work. But breakups do happen to anyone and depending on the person breakups can be stressful, frustrating and even nerve wracking! And for most folks when they break up - they are thinking of how to get back together with the ex. So the first question you should ask yourself is this… “Am I sure I want to get back together with my ex?”

If you do want to get back with your ex, great! But you also need to forget about any ‘get back at ex’ nonsense because of some perceived wrongs. You know what I mean… doing stuff that won’t help and may likely get you a visit from the neighborhood police officer…

You certainly don’t want that!

So my feeling is that we should rephrase how to get back at ex into one that is positive and influential toward them moving back to you. So I’m going to give you my five best dating tips and ideas on how to get back at your ex… and more importantly, how to get your ex back!

Here goes…

Get Back at Ex Idea #1

Be true and strong to yourself. Especially when you just broke up and are in pieces. Stop the begging and clinging to your ex - it actually repels your ex and pushes them further away from you. Instead, I want you to be strong and give off the impression that you are totally fine with the breakup and life is peachy without them (even though your stomach may be churning).

But there is a reason behind this suggestion, your ex will begin to realize that you have moved on and they haven’t, which is a good thing.

Get Back at Ex Idea #2

Stop communicating with your ex. Just allow a little and if you have children together then yeah, you should talk about that subject but for everything else - be incommunicado. You see, closing the doors on communication does appear the opposite of what you really want to do… it conveys a message to your ex that your time is important and you are doing busy things and they start to wonder and stew about why you are not talking so much to them anymore. And not only that… they start to think about the good times and how important the relationship you both had.

Get Back at Ex Idea #3

Be like Gumby. Be flexible and don’t be so rigid and angry. Don’t tell them they have to move out and pick up their stuff by a certain date or you will throw their stuff out by the roadside - doing that won’t be helpful at all no matter how angry and frustrated you may be feeling at the time. Instead, be flexible and understanding. Do this and boy, your ex will be surprised - they may want to rebuild the lines of communication with you.

Get Back at Ex Idea #4

Hit the town buddy! That’s right, grab your friends and get the blankity-blank out of the house. Do fun stuff! Be social and enjoy some entertainment in your life. Add some life into your life so to speak. Now it doesn’t mean you have to date or notice members of the opposite sex but you SHOULD get out and enjoy your time with friends and when your ex finds out about it - they may begin to realize they lost a precious stone.

Get Back at Ex Idea #5

Be the “real” you! Truth be told… there was a reason why your ex fell in love with you the first time. And during relationships, you may have lost that little part of being yourself. Find it and be true to yourself. Your ex may notice.

There you go, I just gave you five ways to get back at ex… but not the way most folks would do it. My way is more pleasant, more constructive and gives you a much, much better chance of reconciling and getting back with your ex.

For some more tips and advice how to get back at ex you can go to my website. I will also make a recommendation for a get ex back guide that is the fastest way and shortest path I know to get them back.

The toughest thing to figure out when you get dumped in a relationship is whether your ex really wants to break up or whether they’ll soon come to their senses and realize they made a mistake.

The answer to both questions would normally be a resounding yes and no. Yes they want to and no, they won’t usually come to their senses. If this is the line of thinking you’ve adopted then you’re playing a dangerous game and it’s one of the reasons a spurned lover will act irrationally.

Firstly, for someone to decide to end a relationship takes courage and the decision is not made lightly so sure, they must really want to.  Whether they change their mind and eventually take you back depends a lot on how you react and behave to their decision.
There are many reasons to break up. The obvious reason is for infidelity. In this case, it’s usually a long road to haul before a reconciliation takes place.

But many of the other reasons make for interesting reading. The main thing to be aware of, when someone makes a decision to want out of a relationship, is that it’s usually because of something that has built up over time and eventually the bubble bursts.

Men And Women Break Up For Different Reasons

If you are trying to analyze why your partner has dumped you it may pay to first analyze your own behavior. Once you have isolated the possible reasons ask yourself whether you could have actually “nipped the break up in the bud” well before the “axe came down on your relationship.”

If you’re a man, you must understand certain things about the nature of women. Here are some points to take particular notice of:

- Women like to be appreciated. How did you score in this area? Have you appreciated what she did for you?

- Women like to be complimented. How many times have you complimented her either on her looks, her dress sense or any other area of your lives together where one would have be warranted.

- Women don’t like to be taken for granted. They pay particular detail to attention.

What Can Drive A Man Out Of A Relationship

On the other hand, men will leave women for different reasons. Here’s a couple of interesting ones:

- Men like to be admired. They also like to feel wanted. As a woman, how to you score with both of these points?

- Men hate being nagged. We don’t say this to offend women but how many times have you picked faults in your man? It’s a classic syndrome which develops in a relationship over time. What once was acceptable to a woman and admired of her man, now no longer strikes a chord. Yes, you can be critical but here’s the kicker, you also need to balance it out with expressions of admiration for the things he does do well in your book.

Knowing When to End a Relationship

April 1, 2009
Author: Looking4Love

breakup

It’s often hard to end a relationship because under most circumstances, a break up is hard.  But remaining in a relationship that causes you stress or discomfort is much more harmful than the break-up.  The fact is, some people are deadbeats.  Not every relationship was destined to be, and no matter how hard you work at it, there’s not always a happy ending in the future.  There are several reasons to break up, but overall knowing when to break up depends on the tolerance of the individual. 

If your boyfriend isn’t always nice to your friends, can you stand it?  If your girlfriend tries to manipulate your lifestyle, does it bother you that much?  It’s important to weigh the positives and negatives of the situation before a decision is made.  But chances are if the relationship stresses you out on a daily or weekly basis, it’s not healthy, and it’s time to move on.

Top 6 Reasons for Broken Relationships

March 16, 2009
Author: KLTBrown

It seems like the relationships we have with the ones we love are so fragile, it hardly takes anything to shatter them. Although the list of possible relationship problems could be a mile long, but if we really break them down the list is really not that long. Believe it or not most of the biggest relationship killers are both avoidable and fixable, and in the interest of time, I’m going to address what I call the “Big 6.”

1) Unfaithfulness
Unfaithfulness is a supreme destroyer of relationships…nothing really wounds a person so much as when his/her partner leaves home and he/she decides to go looking for love in other places. Cheating on your lover is probably the coldest, most hurtful thing you can do to a person and usually results in nearly-unfixable breakups…so the best way to deal with the problem is to never have it in the first place.

2) Neglect
Neglecting your partner’s feelings is another really hurtful thing that can cause a breakup. People have emotions, even the guys who like to act like they don’t so much…and it really hurts when they’re never considered by the person whom they love the most. Always listen to your partner, and be considerate of how he/she feels.

3) Uncontrolled Tempers
Everybody knows that no relationship goes on for very long without the occasional fight…but it’s important to not get too fired up in these conflicts. If your not careful you’ll end up saying things you really don’t mean that can do irrepairable damage to the other person. A bad temper and refusal to calm down and listen is the WRONG way to handle fights. Take things with as level a head, maintain control of yourself, and try to address real problems rather than petty squabbles and gripes. Make your fights productive, not destructive.

4) Controlling
In today’s world an overbearing partner can really add a lot of stress to a relationship and strain the “victim” to the limits. As much as your partner may love you, they may soon get fed up with your constant harassment or end up dreading talking or being with you. Without respect and trust, a relationship will fail…so let go of the reins a bit before the poor person starts running for his/her life!

5) Boredom
Lack of spontanaeity and fun can be as deadly to a relationship as any other problem, but in my opinion it’s the most tragic of all the reasons a couple could break up. No relationship should be allowed to dissolve due to boredom and lack of interest. Make time for each other and do things you both really enjoy. Keep the relationship alive by feeding it good times and warm feelings.

6) Irritation
Your partner may not leave you because you constantly pop your shoulder or fidget with anything you can get your hands on, but a slew of constant annoying habits can really raise the pressure point in a relationship to the point of explosion. Usually it takes a lot of irritation of this kind to cause real damage, but for crying out loud try to get a hold of yourself. Everyone has a few annoying habits, but if they really bother your partner try to break yourself of them.

There are a lot of things that can contribute to the “demise” of a relationship, and these are really just a few of them…but by thinking this way you should have a good shot at identifying any of the things that are really hurting your relationship…and if you’re in the middle of a breakup, then addressing problems like these could really help your chances of getting through it with your partner still by your side!

How to Get Your Boyfriend Back

March 4, 2009
Author: KLTBrown

Are you doing everything you can to reunite with your ex but feel like your pushing him further away? Is this what’s happening in your life right now? Are you struggling for ideas and constantly asking yourself “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back”. I found this article with some easy to understand steps. Tell me what you think.

Here are some proven methods and simple relationship advice that you can use to dramatically increase the chances of you and your ex boyfriend getting back together… FOREVER.

The fact that you’re reading this article proves that right now, you are very determined to save your relationship, to re ignite that old spark. If you feel that this relationship was extra special then you need to do everything within your power to save it. However, if you’re over eager in your actions to win him back, your behavior may be causing him to retreat, as a natural response.

Generally speaking, it is normal to resist pressure of this kind. Struggling against human nature is a pointless exercise and it will only make matters worse.

Stop Bugging and Pestering Him!

Does this sound like you?

- Phoning him way too often
- Emailing him a number of times each day
- Texting him with trivial messages
- Trying to make him feel guilty or sorry for you

If you’re guilty of doing some or all of these things… STOP RIGHT NOW!

If you are asking yourself “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back”, none of the above will help your cause. In fact it will only have a negative effect on the current situation.

So, What CAN I Do To Get My Boyfriend Back?

Here’s Some Tips That Will Help You.

You need to sit quietly, on your own and re-think the situation, take a fresh, new approach. Start by ceasing all contact for a short time and concentrate solely on YOU. Spoil yourself, pamper yourself, start doings things for YOU.

Do NOT communicate with your ex boyfriend during this period. Instead, work on issues that will enlighten you, increase your self esteem and generally improve your own personal life. Put the relationship in a cupboard, shut the door, lock it and hide the key.

Focus on your personal issues because this period of time will be a challenge for you and will need great discipline so you can resist the temptation to pick up the phone and return to your previous behavior.

And what do you think will happen to your ex boyfriend during this time, let me tell you. He WILL change how he feels about you because you have stopped pursuing him, you’ve given up the chase and he’ll miss it.

You suddenly have a mystique about you, an aura of confidence and contentment and he’s now unsure of where you are, what you’re doing, who you are doing it with and how you are feeling. This situation will most definitely be in your best interest.

Now your ex is thinking differently, he’s starting to miss you.

AND… This Would Not Have Come About if You Continued to Smother Him.

The key is this, when repairing a break up you’ll have far greater success if you use human nature to your advantage rather than trying to work against it.
If you are wondering ” What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back” you should now have a reasonable understanding of the behavior to be avoided and how to avoid it.

Implement this plan and you will go a long way towards restoring the status quo a give your ex the time to remember why he loved you in the first place. Ground yourself and give him plenty of space. Make an effort to be that little bit aloof to give him that time he needs to think & reassess the situation.

Play hard to get but don’t over do it, wait for him to take the first step, and you’ll finish up the winner. And so will he. Then and only then will you stop asking “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back”

How to Get the Girlfriend Back

March 3, 2009
Author: KLTBrown

Just bout everyone asks “What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back” after they have broken up with their girlfriend. Many start to reminisce about what could have been and lay in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about what they could have done differently that would have saved the relationship.

How did it ever get this far and what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back? That’s a question many ask after going through a break up. Fortunately we have some dating advice for men that will help along the way to getting her back.

First, Should I Apologize?

Then, thoughts of apology letters and other ideas and options that may help the situation, start churning around in your head, all the while trying to figure out how can I get my relationship back.

This line of thinking usually leads nowhere for one simple reason: You can never really know the real reason for the break up. Women can sometimes become very emotional and the result can be they sometimes cannot recall what resulted in the breakup and they may not be aware of what is actually making them feel like they do.

In many situations it can be counter-productive, distressful and just downright tiring trying to figure out what actually happened.

THE FIRST STEP.

The primary method for solve the problem of “what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back” is to put your relationship on the shelf for a period of time and direct your energy somewhere different. Get dressed and go out and socialize.

Make new friends, focus on enjoying yourself, get some networking happening, and try to not think about women. Set some achievable goals for improving your repertoire for socializing and meeting people.

Don’t lock yourself into a time limit, allow yourself two or three months to implement the changes in your lifestyle. Spend quality time away from your ex girlfriend and you will feel better.

Having the time to make gradual changes in your life and think about your perception of what a good relationship is, is the most important thing at this point.

Introducing various strategies, in effect, releases you and gives you this extra time.

And, over a period of time, you will probably have a much better idea of how you wish to proceed with your ex girlfriend.

What Do YOU Want To Do?

Are you still looking to make-up with her or are you thinking about moving on? You must make a clear decision.

Whatever your decision… ACT ACCORDINGLY.

OK, crunch time. If you still seriously thinking about what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back into my life then it’s a good time to think about her feelings for you. As scary as that may sound, you really do need to know.

Be direct when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back, after all you have nothing to lose. Think about what strategies to use and under no circumstances… DO NOT BEG, EVER.

It’s an emotional time for you and begging will simply not work in the long run.

Think about this instead.

You need to play things cool. If you have spent enough time away from your ex girlfriend, she is more than likely missing you as much as you’re missing her. Play a little hard to get, without over doing it. She’ll see how well you’re doing without her and this is all good because it will inspire her to really think about things.

And, if you and your ex girlfriend are really meant to be, it will become obvious at this point. Try not to ‘over think’ things because it may cause you to act differently and prevent you from making the right decision when deciding “what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back”.

Take things slowly and as they come, remain cool at all times and you’ll be fine.

How to Mend a Broken Relationship

February 19, 2009
Author: KLTBrown

It is possible to mend a broken relationship or even save a marriage even when it seems hopeless! It happens every day. But you need to be sure you not past the no return mark. So its important to know where you are in the relationship and to determine what you can do to mend your relationship if it is possible. Here is some relationship help on how to mend that broken relationship or maybe even how to save a marriage.

Many times it does seem that everything is hopeless and you will never get back together with your ex. But if you caught the warning signs in time  hopefully you can fix the relationship before it gets much worse.

Right now you might be stressed out… emotionally drained… worried about facing life without your ex.  These are all are common fears and pressures faced by many others just like you.  But guess what? Many of them get back together again! Yes, that’s right. They actually mended their broken relationship and in many cases became that much stronger for it.

Now it never easy to repair any relationship. There is no magic poem, pill, or potion. It takes work and you are going to have to work at it. So that definitely means you will have to resist calling and pleading with your ex.  It hasn’t worked yet has it? Believe me it won’t.

So here is the plan.  You are going to create space for a while.  A short while. And no matter what your ex is doing you have to be busy too. Got it? You are busy doing something.

And then you need an effective blueprint to get back together with your ex. You need to be prepared to handle the next contact so your ex realizes that you are confident, independent,  and attractive. Most importantly you need to avoid exhibiting all needy behaviors.  Keep the attitude of “I don’t need him/her”. I can be happy being by myself.  Let the magnetism begin and before you know it your ex will be attracted to you once again.

Once you fixed your relationship… I want you to make yourself this promise… never let things get that bad again! Learn to recognize the early signs of trouble and head them off… Take the time to really reconnect with your partner. Keep the excitement going in the relationship. Be genuine, honest and understanding. And above all, recognize that men and women are truly different.

4 Signs That Lead to an Ultimate Break Up

February 11, 2009
Author: KLTBrown

Going through a break up can be hard on a person, and can take it’s toll on a person’s emotions and their self-esteem.  Many people  who were in relationships claim that they never noticed that tell tale signs of an oncoming breakup. Usually the signs are right in front of them, and without recognizing what made a previous relationship fail, they are destined to repeat the process.  Others fail to see the common issues that people use as reasons to break up.  These four common signs should alert you that you are about to get dumped, and may allow you to make the proper changes in your relationship to prevent another break up.

1) Lost Passion

A prime reason for ending a relationship is that the passion within it has been lost. Relationships typically begin with love, romance and excitement fueled by passion. As a result, you find yourself making love notes, unexpected visits and all of those little things that someone does to see to it that their partner is “the happiest person in the world”. But over time this passion begins to fade, and we forget to express those feelings that we had before and we no longer do those little things to remind a loved one that they are someone who is deeply cared for. If this condition continues beware, you are on the verge of a break up. So remember, don’t let the passion die.

2) Too Much Negativity

The main reason that we are with an individual is that they make us happy, and provide support when there is a problem.  Constant complaining about things that upset us such as a bad day at work or perhaps problems financially, can result in an uninterested partner. You may find your partner distancing them self from you and you might not realize why. The reason is that you are too negative. Instead of making them happy and providing support you are making them miserable and bringing them down.  Understanding that we all have problems is essential, and exploiting them is not a viable way to handle it, usually there is enough trouble and negativity to be found in our spare time. Stay positive and always encouraging and you can avoid this pitfall.

3) Too Much of a Good Thing

Not having enough space between someone and their partner is bound to create a problem in one way or another. Allowing a partner enough space for themselves and enough time to be able to go spend time with friends is very important. By doing so it allows a very healthy balance in the relationship, and can allow partners to appreciate the time they have with a loved one. Don’t smother your partner. Give them some space to breathe. Don’t make them glad twice, i.e. glad to see you come and glad to see you go.

4) “Us” Time

In our lives, we tend to devote a great majority of our time to towards things like education and the workplace, so that we seem to be without the ability to plan anything. Attaining free time and quality time for a loved one is another important factor; it allows the time to just be alone and get to focus all attention to that one person. This will allow a more in-depth relationship with that person. Understanding that without quality time alone with that person, they will obviously feel neglected and will try to look to other people, or places, to find it. So turn of the cell phone, blackberry and all your other gadgets and spend that uninterrupted quality time with your partner before they begin to look other places to find it.