Archive for the 'Love Advice' Category

Ever wonder why some people are easily noticed in a crowded room and some go totally unnoticed? This relationship tip for both women and men will get you noticed if you practice it on a regular basis.

I saw this story about Ian Ziering (from the popular 1990’s TV show 90210) that describes his first impression of his new wife.

They met at a Labor Day party at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood in 2009. In a sea of $600 stilettos, $700 bikinis, $800 sunglasses and $900 hair extensions, Erin (his wife) walked in wearing flip-flops, a simple black bikini, Ray-Bans and a ponytail. He was totally mesmerized.

I was struck by what he said and what he didn’t. Most women would love to be noticed in a crowded room and have a man be instantly smitten. However, to accomplish this goal, women often focus on the wrong things. Perfect hair, perfect body, perfect smile, perfect… are you noticing a theme?

But when I (or someone else) suggests to a woman that there is more to attracting and keeping a man than simply being perfect, they smile and say, “I know, I know.” But they don’t believe me because of their bad experiences. In the past, some man has told them that if they weren’t so (overweight, talkative, controlling, needy, etc.), the relationship wouldn’t be ending. So they decide that the way they are - isn’t enough. What I mean by “enough” is that they believe that they are not pretty enough, skinny enough, confident enough and so forth.

It’s not true, you know. Being perfect will certainly get you more invitations and more men turning their heads to look at you, but that wasn’t the quality that Mr. Ziering noticed in his wife. You see, it wasn’t what she wore or the particular style of her hair. It was what came from within that made her outfit and her hairstyle so radiant. In fact, he noticed it so strongly that he married this woman 9 months after they met.

I’m also sure that you’ve probably experienced this yourself at least once in your life. Those times when it seemed every guy was interested in you. Or if you’re in a relationship, can you remember when your man couldn’t seem to get enough of you?  Wouldn’t you like to have that effect most of the time?     Guess what, you can, but here is the catch. This trait isn’t always easy to develop. It takes some practice. It doesn’t take forever; yet, it isn’t something you can develop in a day.

In fact, those women that struggle to obtain this magic usually have one thing in common. They’re impatient. They want it now. When it doesn’t work with every guy - every time they say, “This stuff doesn’t work.” Then they continue to wonder why the relationship they’ve always dreamed of never seems to show up in their lives.

I want to tell you that it can happen. But if you’d like things to be different, then you’ll have to do different things. Simply keeping the same habits and beliefs won’t change your circumstances. Additionally, keeping old habits absolutely won’t cause men to look at you the way Ian Ziering looked at his future wife. But if you want that kind of power, and I mean really want it, then it’s yours for the taking.

Let me show you how to put your heart first, and ahead of any man.  I’ll give you the tip that will cause men to look at you differently - if you agree to try it for at least 3 weeks.

Treat every guy/girl the same.

Be nice to the ugly guy/girl and the overweight one. Listen to the one who you think is boring and bald. Oh I know, he might just ask you out, but that is a problem you want to have. You see there is no magic formula for only attracting the man or woman you want. There is only the magic that attracts men and women. Those you want and those you don’t. You’ll end up turning down most of these invitations but something inside of you will begin to change.

Practice treating them all the same, and I promise that the ones you like will notice that you seem to have a content beauty that makes you stand out across a crowded room, even if you’re just wearing flip flops with your hair in a ponytail.

Give it a try for 3 weeks straight and report back with your results. You’ll be amazed.

I ran across a great article from one of my favorite media experts on relationships, Bob Grant.  It’s entitled “She Admires - He Cherishes”.  It really drives the point across about what REALLY turns a man’s fancy and what really makes a fulfilling relationship. Read and enjoy:

“What does a healthy relationship look like? Some people believe that this means that two people engaging in a mutually respectful relationship. On paper that may sound good. But to be honest, there’s no passion in that kind of safe and sterile relationship. A relationship that is full of passion has many characteristics. There is one in particular that I wanted to point out.”

Note, one  major key ingredient to a fulfilling relationship is passion.

“The best relationships don’t focus on equality, but rather on two people complimenting each other. This is like two pieces of a puzzle. Each one needs the other to be complete. If you want the type of man that makes you feel special most of the time, then I’d like to make a suggestion. Forget trying to get him to talk about his feelings all the time. Stop asking him questions that are designed to make him reaffirm his love for you. Instead, for the next few weeks focus on pointing out anything he does that you are impressed by.”

Note, the key is focusing on giving to get what you want.  Give him admiration and he will cherish you.

“Talk to him about anything that he does that you feel is special or kind. In other words, look for ways to show your admiration for him.If you do, you’ll stand out in his mind from any other woman he has every dated. And here is the reason why. Most women are very observant early on in a relationship because they tend to emote emotions. If you didn’t know, a man feeds off of that emotion, and for women it’s quite effortless to do this when she’s interested in a man. What happens in most relationships is that each partner begins to take the other for granted, and each wonders where the romantic spark went.”

Key Point!  Men feed off positive emotion. Especially when it’s in response to something they have done or something that relates to them.

“The truth is that relationships often die due to neglect. If you want to revive your relationship, try this. Whenever he does something you like, don’t just acknowledge it - show your emotions. I’m not asking you to lie or pretend you like something that you don’t, but I am saying this, “Don’t hold back your emotion when you like something he does.” When you show your admiration, he’ll be reminded why he pursued you at the beginning of your relationship. As those feelings get stirred up in his heart, you’ll soon see that he will want to cherish you all over again.”

Remember, show and tell and you’ll get and receive.

In my searching around the internet I ran across these tips for guys on knowing when a woman is attracted to you.  I hope these relationship tips and advice for men will help you decide if she is worth pursuing or if you are just wasting your time.

Before we start here’s a background note.  Women are known to be talkative.  However, a woman is a “bilingual” to a certain extent, and she is as articulate in body language as she is in the words on paper. Therefore, when it comes to feelings and relationships, women use both forms to convey their message. Hence, the only way to succeed in analyzing if the woman really likes you is to listen closely and decode her body language.
Here is a list of the most common moves that would literally tell you that she is interested in you and tips on how to respond to these actions.

Tip 1:  Self-stroking

You are talking to a woman and you notice her slowly running her hand up and down her forearm.  It is a tactile woman!

She loves the feel of things on her hand, and most probably the rest of her body. A simple movement like that speaks pages. It is like telling you, “Look at my hand, pretend it is yours.”

What to do:  Give her a few strokes but keep your hands on neutral territory.
A touch on the shoulder, a tap on the top of her hand would be enough. If she is telling you what you hope she is telling you, she will easily focus her tactile fixation on you.

Tip 2:  The Hair-Behind-Ear Tuck

Most women have this technique down pat. It may be an affection of the typical and much sought-after demure lady.

For the most part, it shows that your girl is a preneer. She likes to have every strand of hair to be in place; and a single one of them is out of line. That is the ear tuck power.

What to do: Pay her a compliment. Any compliment will do, but a “I like your hair like that” may just be the ticket that she has been waiting from you.

Tip 3: Puppy Dog Eyes

Awww! She is so cute. Those big doe eyes are practically begging for assistance. She needs your help and you must willingly give it.

Although this tactic is used mostly for flat tires and bus seats, it works quite well in the flirting and pick-up scene as well.

What to do: When the puppy dog’s eyes come on, jump into action. Snap your fingers and order a drink for her. Offer her a chair. Do not overdo it though, because women are totally capable of themselves, and the only reason why she appears like a damsel in distress is the fact that she likes you and she is interested to know you better.

Tip 4: The Laugh and Touch Combo

At an appropriate time in the conversation, you whip out your favorite joke to seal the deal with your date. She laughs unabashedly, leans towards you, and plants an unassuming hand on your thigh, arm, or shoulder.

So she thinks you are funny, right? Wrong. The upside down, though, is that she is into you, downright interested in you, despite the  joke. This is her way of showing you that she is easy to get along with and open to possibilities that involve you.

What to do: Talk about things that border on the intimate, but end with a self-deprecating joke. This will keep you from going too heavy but at the same time, it sends out the signal that you like her too and that you are comfortable with her.

Providing the appropriate responses to these common moves will launch you both into the exciting world of the “getting-to-know-you-better” stage.

How To Bond With A Man Emotionally

March 28, 2010
Author: KLTBrown

Women are always looking for tips and advice about how to get closer to a man.  It true that every woman wants to bond with her man emotionally but very few know what’s most important  concerning getting a man to bond with you.  My first advice is to remember and recognize that men don’t bond the same way as women.  So the methods they use to bond with other women will not work with a man.

When women ask how to get closer to the man they love, they are often implying something different. What they are really asking is “How do I get him to bond with me the way that I want?”,  “How can I get him to be more romantic?” or “How can I make him share his feelings more?”

Notice that what they are asking in the statements above is “How do I get him to want to do what I do?” The first thing that a woman needs to do is to realize that bonding with a man isn’t the same as getting him to do what she wants.

Once you have made this realization, you will see that getting a man to bond with you is simpler than most women realize. You must understand there is a process that must be followed and these next few relationship tips and advice for women will help you follow that process. However, this process doesn’t usually involve the activities that most women would prefer.  For a man, one of the greatest thrills is having a woman share a wonderful activity that HE enjoys.

Women, take careful note of this important tip;

If you don’t stir up his emotions, he won’t connect with you on the level that you want.

Which brings us to the next point- what causes his emotions to be stirred is most likely not what affects your emotions. That’s why going on a picnic or watching a romantic movie doesn’t have much of an effect on a man. Men bond through a shared activity. On the other hand, women bond though shared words and thoughts. Sitting down next to him while he’s watching a football game may seem as exciting as watching paint dry to you, but for him it’s pure heaven. He’s got you close and he gets to watch something he enjoys. The mistake many women make is they sit with a man while he watches something he enjoys and tries to talk to him. Woman, that’s not the time for talking!

The good news is that you don’t have to do this all the time. Just every so often, step into his world of sports, hobbies or whatever interests him as his partner. You’ll soon begin to notice how close he feels toward you.

3 Things Every Woman Should Share With Her Man

March 26, 2010
Author: KLTBrown

Many women are so easily caught up in conversation about day to day things and the event of the household that they fail to share the most important things with their man. As a result of this oversight, many men become uninterested and numb to the constant dialog of their woman. So my advice for the woman to keep the relationship fresh and on track, it that it’s important for woman to share these 3 things regularly with their man. If they don’t, sooner or later he may find someone else who will.

1.   He wants you to share when you’re proud of him…  If you didn’t know this already, men really like to show off.  Just be sure it’s something you really do like because if you praise him, you’ll likely get more of it.

2.   He wants you to share when you’re upset, and let him know what he can do to help…  The important thing is to give him a task that he can do to help. If you just want him to listen - tell him.  Don’t expect him to “just know” that is what you need.  A man often feels like he’s being weak just sitting there while you’re hurting.  He wants to fix it.  Ask him to listen, and tell him how good that makes you feel.

3.    He wants you to share when you’re excited and happy…  If more women only understood how important it is for a man to be able to make you happy, it would change the complexion of many a relationship. Remember, men aren’t nearly as intuitive as your girlfriends are.  Men learn by watching your reaction. A good reaction (full of nice happy feelings) means do this more. A bad reaction (when you cry or get upset) means don’t do that again.

Yes ladies, men really are that simple….

How to Avoid Giving Men The Wrong Impression

March 25, 2010
Author: KLTBrown

When it comes to giving the wrong impression there is one thing that believe it or not nearly all women do. Yet, they never realize they are doing it. I try not to make such an issue of it but part of the reason that I point this behavior out is that it actually comes across as unattractive to men. So what is that women do that give men the wrong impression and make them unattractive?

Most women don’t receive compliments well.

Actually, a more honest statement would be that most women are terrible at receiving compliments. They don’t want others to think they are arrogant, snobby or even worse - a b###ch. But in an attempt not to appear conceited, they fail to understand the impression they give to a man.

Here is one of the most important relationship tips for women. Ladies, learn how to properly receive compliments. When a man compliments you, he’s actually giving you something - like a flower or a gift. If you minimize his words, he feels like you are belittling his gift. If you do that enough times, you’ll train him not to give you these gifts or compliments at all. In effect, you’re telling him you don’t believe the nice thing he said about you. He won’t think you’re being humble, instead, he’ll soon believe that he was mistaken to believe or think it himself.

So what should you do?

When a man compliments you, do these three simple things:
1) Stop and look him in the eyes,
2) Smile (A genuine smile is the most effective)
3) Simply say “thank you.”

Oh, I realize it sounds simple, and it is. But if you begin doing this, you’ll find that it becomes a natural response. At first, receiving a compliment can be unnerving. It takes practice. But from a man’s perspective, it conveys confidence and here’s a tip ladies, it’s very attractive!

If you are  stressed and unhappy and it seems like you going in circles with your relationship here are some relationship tips and relationship advice to help you in your situation.

First, if you both have time,  seek counseling together and allow things to be dealt with from both sides about the current situation.   I recommend you not rush to any decisions on either side but rather set up an appointment as soon as you can with a counselor.

However, if the stress of the relationship is taking a heavy toll on you in terms of health and well-being it might be wise,  despite your fear of being on your own,  to end this relationship and look for a healthier one.  One that will make you feel fulfilled and not overly dependent. Be honest with yourself if you sense that your stressful and unhappy relationship is leading no where. In this case I  don’t think that the both of you going to counseling would have any positive results.

If you are getting nothing but negative feelings from this stressful and unhappy relationship and although there might be some good days, the bad outweigh the good, then maybe it’s time to step back and put the relationship on hold.  Take some time away from them and see if your negative feelings diminish. With time you’ll get clearer vision as to what the relationship really means to you.  Just don’t waste your life  waiting for things to get better because chances are the probably wont.

If you are in a stressful and unhappy relationship I can understand the kind of pain you are in. If you’ve tried talking to your partner about how you feel and how mentally drained you are from the emotionally stress, maybe you need to listen to their side of the things. Maybe if you talk to them things may come to light which could enable you understand each other better.

It’s always a good idea to talk to them and try to understand things from their perspective, provided they are willing to reciprocate the same.  If they are trying to be ruthless and bent upon having their way in the relationship, then put your foot down and just walk out of the relationship.  If they  are unwilling to care for you, love you , respect you, treat you nicely, honor your wishes then all they are doing is using you and emotionally abusing you.   Sit yourself down,  analyze how you feel, what and how they make you feel and then decide whether you’re a better person being with them or without them.  If you find this difficult,  try to analyze whether they bring out the best in you or the worst or somewhere in between. Hopefully this relationship advice will clear your mind and enable you to have a better understanding of what you should do and what you should choose.

If you feel you are in a loveless marriage or your marriage has gone flat,  you may need some marriage advice on “How to get your husband to fall in love with you again? I’ll address some quick ways and sure tips that can help you win back the love of your husband.

1) If you feel you are in a “loveless marriage”, don’t assume too quickly that your husband doesn’t love you. He probably still does.  I found this quote that is often very true  “Falling out of love is a term that is often applied to hum-drum marriages but what it frequently means from the man’s point of view is that he has fallen out of love with the way the marriage is going.” He may have distanced himself from you because he was unhappy but couldn’t offer a more detailed explanation for his feelings.

2) Many men have a hard time accurately interpreting and communicating their feelings.  Even if they can’t communicate it effectively, what they often feel is that the relationship no longer makes them feel good about themselves anymore. At the beginning of your relationship, you both put your best foot forward and spent a lot of time and effort into making the other person feel good about you and about themselves. Go back to that mindset and do what you can do to recreate that environment.

3) Most relationships become stronger when both you and your partner  feel wanted, important, appreciated, interesting and competent, just to name a few. For men, these feelings are what makes him feel like he is in love. So, it’s important to understand that when he says (or you think) he doesn’t love you anymore, that might not be true. It’s very likely that he’s actually mourning the loss of the relationship that made him feel so great about himself.

4)  Tell your husband that you are feeling a distance in your marriage and let him know that you miss the closeness and intimacy that you once enjoyed.  Ask him if he wants to improve your marriage and let him know that it’s your desire too.   The goal here is to communicate your desire to your husband.

5) Identify the things that you miss the most in your relationship. If its the affection, then show more affection to your husband. If its appreciation, let him know you appreciate him first. Take the first steps and you’ll be surprised how he responds.  In the beginning he may look at you funny or totally reject your attempts. Don’t give up! In time you will have found the answer to “How to get your husband to fall in love with you again?”

It is usually assumed that the job of keeping the relationship fresh and alive is the responsibility of the man. Many women are unsure about what they can do but it’s really simple. Here are some marriage tips and relationship advice for women to keep it fresh and alive.

Ladies, if your attracted to a man why don’t you ask him out to dinner? If your a married woman ask your husband for sex! Why don’t you buy your mate something just because you love him? What I’m trying to say ladies if its a two way street. Why does the man have to make the first move?

Date often. Women shouldn’t mind asking a man out for lunch/dinner. Call his cell phone while he’s in the house and ask him for a date while you are in the house with him, i.e. in another room or downstairs out of sight. This works wonders and gets the job done. You really shouldn’t have to ask him for sex-it should be an automatic. Just wear something sexy and set the mood. He’ll know what’s up.  Now if you see something that you think your man would like or you would like to see him have, just get it.  That’s spontaneous gift giving that show real love and appreciation.

Ladies, here’s something men really find sexy.  Buy your man a red rose just because and make it your business to set a day aside at least twice a month to treat him out to dinner and a movie and let him know you appreciate him.  Ladies, just like we want them to show us they appreciate what we do for them, they need it also. And ladies, if you are afraid to ask for sex just get on it when your in bed I’m quite sure he won’t mind. They actual like it. Trust me.

Role playing on dates is another good one. Acting like you don’t know each other and like your meeting for the first time is fun too. Remember, even though you’re married to that person for years you really don’t truly know that person.  You only know what they want you to know even though you’re living under the same roof.  You will be amazed at what you might learn from your mate.

Most men cheat because they are not getting what they want at home. So when they step outside the relationship the other woman is giving them the 20% that the 80% woman won’t. That’s why its best to switch things up and be that 20% woman when he needs it. Just to show him you can be a woman with two faces.

The whole goal is to always have fun from the beginning to the end, because when the kids are grown and out of the house you still have to keep each other wanting each other. That’s your man and your biggest goal should be to have fun keeping it fresh and alive at all times.

Most women wonder about this at some point. It’s true that men aren’t nearly as transparent when it comes to their feelings as women are. Women typically see no problem with wearing our hearts on our sleeves and telling the man they adore just how much he means to her. If you’re with a man who keeps his feelings to himself and you’re unsure whether or not he’s fallen in love with you, here’s some great relationship advice for women. There are simple signs in a man’s behavior that will give you insight into what’s going on in his heart. If you spot any of these, rest assured he’s likely to be just as wild about you as you are about him.

1) He spends as much time with you as possible. When a man is in love with a woman, everything else in his life pales in comparison to that. He’ll have a new focus and that focus is her. If the man you adore is always trying to squeeze in as much time with you as he can, he’s already hooked. If your guy has excuse after excuse for why he can’t spend time with you, he’s not as into you as you are into him. Men in love don’t try to avoid being with the women they adore. It’s that simple.

2) You know the other important people in his life. Although most women are comfortable introducing every man they date to their friends and family, most men aren’t. A man is much more likely to save that privilege for a woman he’s really serious about. If you’ve met his family and you’re friends with his friends, take heart. It means more than you might imagine. He feels close enough with you to share the important folks in his world with you. That’s a very promising sign of not only his feelings, but where the relationship is headed.

3) He’s more interested in you than himself. Even though this is one of the most telling, it’s also the most subtle. When a man is still in the falling in love phase of a relationship, he’ll generally go on and on about himself. He’s doing this, subconsciously, to impress the woman he’s dating. He wants to ensure she knows everything positive and alluring there is to know about him. However, once a man starts to fall in love his focus changes. He’ll be much more focused on the woman he loves. If your guy is asking more and more questions about you and your life, he’s feeling a strong emotional connection to you. Pay extra special attention to the conversations the two of you have. If you’re his favorite topic, he’s in love.

4) How often you hear from him. One of the ways to know when a man is in love with you has to do with how often you hear from him. If a man has fallen deeply in love with the woman in his life he constantly wants to be in touch. He’ll call whenever he has a free moment and will do almost anything just to spend a few moments with her. Many women take on the belief that they rarely get phone calls from their man because he’s too busy. The fact of the matter is men do call when they are in love. If he’s not calling and if he’s coming up with multiple excuses for why he can’t spend time with you, he’s likely not nearly as interested in you as you are in him.

5) He’s always looking for ways to make your life easier in every way possible. Does your boyfriend want to make your life easier in every way possible? Does he go out of his way to do small things that he knows you enjoy? If he does, that’s a clear sign that he loves you.  Although we’re all taught to be independent, it’s enjoyable and touching when the man in our lives takes care of things for us. Anything from making you coffee in the morning to helping fix a leaky faucet are all things that a man in love will be happy to do for the object of his affection. If your boyfriend doesn’t seem terribly concerned with making your life easier, that’s not a sign that he cares deeply for you.