pRelationship

How do you stop loving someone who you are DEEPLY in love with, but for various reasons the relationship doesn’t work. You love them but you can’t be with them? How do you turn off your emotions? Especially when you have to see this person everyday, Here’s some breakup advice that will help you get over it and move on.

It’s obvious that you must limit your interaction with this person. NO more phone calls. With time, any emotional attachment and feelings will subside after a while. Detach yourself from the delusion first. You need to come to realization that you two can’t be together. Not sure why you got yourself in this situation to begin with, BUT you’re there, so how you do release yourself from a painful reality?

First remove all things that remind you of this person; any pictures, phone messages, text messages etc.. If  you see this person daily at work for instance, walk the other way. Keep it professional no matter how hard it is. Concentrate and utilize mind over matter.

Remember, it’s never easy to turn your emotions off. You can’t help it. Start filling that void with something else to occupy your time. Don’t read a book, its useless. You’re not gonna be able to concentrate.  Go out and be amongst your friends.

Because you are “Deeply” in love, sex probably played a factor. Needless to say you must show restraint. Don’t continue to have sex anymore. You have to be strong.  Understand you are only setting yourself up to get hurt. You have to take the first step if you don’t want to feel this yearning and desire anymore. Only you have control over your feelings and emotions. Don’t look to the person you are dealing with to help you with this.

But if you are seeing a married man-STOP NOW! Do yourself a favor. He is not gonna leave his wife. Don’t get caught up. You know better. If you are married, same advice. I hope your spouse doesn’t find out. But seriously, you must find a way to detach yourself.

Personally, you will be fine. Forgive yourself and love yourself enough not to get caught up in a situation like this again. The healing process is not gonna be easy.  Have patience. Don’t be too hard on yourself but get out now. Save your sanity and your dignity. Find someone you can be with without stipulations.

Job or office romances can really work but it actually requires a lot of good common sense. Spending a lot of time around the same people every day naturally allows you the opportunity to get to know them better and become more comfortable around them. This can often lead to casual talking, joking, laughing—maybe even flirting.

But when you date someone in your office, it is vitally important that you leave your relationship drama at home where it belongs. Not in the office amongst you co-workers. Otherwise you may end up in the HR department for a talk about the office’s dating policy or even worse in your boss’s office for a reprimand. Keeping work professional and keeping what you do personally from interfering is something we all must do. But there’s no denying that the interference can happen. So here are some office dating tips for you to think about before making your move, and to remember once (or if!) you do.

Think Before You Step
Dating a coworker can be like “walking through a minefield with big clown shoes.” Don’t be so quick to jump freely and willingly into a relationship without considering all the consequences. Especially if the other person is a superior or someone with whom we work closely or regularly. Sometimes the relationship may not work out and them you’ve got a bitter and sometimes revengeful person to deal with. So you have to decide: Is it worth the risk to you? People can lose jobs and get sued because of relationships gone bad.

Control Your Excitement
Admittedly, an office fling can definitely spice up your life and add lots of excitement. Don’t go overboard and forget where you are and what you are there to do. Many people get caught up in the excitement and forget to focus on their work. Instead they expend all their energy wooing the other person or talking to other co-workers about you new found love. Determine to keep it low key while in the office and involve as few people as you can to prevent the work distraction.
Likewise, if the relationship fails, try not to dwell on what went wrong. Mulling over a relationship gone bad is what you do at home while eating ice cream and watching that tearjerker for the fifteenth time, not an activity to do at your desk.

Finally, everyone can benefit from heeding this advice if they are serious about pursuing a relationship at work. With the right partner, the right mindset, the right perspective, and the right attitude, you can make it work. You never know whether your true love and future soulmate is in the next office cubicle or just down the hall.

It’s been said that it’s not disagreement that causes unhappiness, but its disappointment and anger.  If we learn to eliminate those feelings in ourselves, not only will we be happier, but we can virtually eliminate conflict in our relationships since our partners will find it difficult to stay in conflict with us when we are loving and happy.  So the key method of eliminating anger will be the subject of our current discussion ad hopefully this information will help you eliminate relationship problems.

Every time you find yourself becoming irritated or unhappy, take one of the following steps. They can be taken in any order and repeated as often as you like.

Be Quiet -  Why would you knowingly destroy your own happiness or the love you want in your relationship? But that’s what you do every time you speak to your partner in anger. When you’re angry you will never say anything loving or productive, so therefore, when you’re angry, DO NOT SPEAK.

Be Wrong - You cannot keep up your end of a conflict when you admit that you’re wrong. When you admit that you’re wrong, the fire of the conflict will die for a lack of fuel. So any time you feel disappointment or anger, repeat, “if I’m disappointed or angry, I’m wrong” and you won’t be able to maintain those feelings for long.

Feel loved - Remember that you are loved. We become afraid in a conflict, and subsequently react in anger, only when we don’t feel loved. When we are absolutely certain that we are loved the disagreements and anger of other people are no longer threatening to us. If we feel loved we won’t become afraid and we’ll have no need to get angry.

Get Loved - Sometimes remembering that you are loved is not enough.  You may need to feel loved in the present. You may need to call a loving friend and experience the love personally to eliminate the anger. Find someone who you can talk to honestly and tell the truth about yourself and create the opportunity to feel love unconditionally.

Be Loving - Do something loving. Eliminate your anger by choosing to do something unconditionally loving.  Perform an act of service, have a friendly conversation, thank your partner, touch your partner, tell him/her you love them.  When you’re angry at your partner, you may not feel like doing something loving for him or her. But if you do it anyway, you’ll create an opportunity for both of you to feel the miracle of love in your lives.

From a business standpoint, dating in the workplace can often be disastrous, particularly if it results in loss work hours, or acrimonious break ups that lead to workplace disasters. An employer can prohibit dating in the workplace, so long as the employer enforces the guidelines consistently – that is, against everyone. Whether dating in the workplace is allowed depends largely on the workplace policies, and is not governed by statutory laws. However, if there is a policy against in the workplace, it is a legal cause for termination.

Workplace dating and romance is well suited for those who spend most of their time at the office. Since most of the population falls under this category, workplace romance has more or less become a universal phenomenon. For a die – hard romantic, an office atmosphere may not be particularly conducive to nurture amorous feelings.

Here are some employee’s dating tips and guidelines given below:

* First check to see if your company has an employee dating policy.  Employee dating is more detrimental in certain occupations than others, so check to see if any company policies exist prior to asking your fellow co – worker out to the movies.
* Develop an office relationship before you develop a romantic relationship. Take the time to learn as much as you can about the co – worker whom you are planning to date. A business lunch will help you judge if asking the co – worker out for a romantic date is a good idea.
* Realize that in reality relationships do not work out like they do on TV. If your dating relationship ends on a sour note, you will still have to work with co – worker. For this reason, it is important to start any relationship out as slow as possible.
* Agree not to flirt at work. After you and your co – worker are dating, agree to set up relationship rules for the workplace. Agree not to inform co – workers or management until you both agree that it is the proper time.
* Develop open communication. When you are in a dual relationship [you have two different types of relationships – business and romantic, with the same person] dating potentially can be conflicted and sometimes downright explosive!

Dating in the workplace and office romance can be fun and more only if you strictly adhere to the rules. The rules we are referring to are not only the ones laid down by your organization but the rules you stipulate for yourselves. Sincerity towards your profession should never be underplayed even if it means giving orders to him/her. In case of something going haywire, apart from feeling emotionally drained, you may create an irreplaceable dent in your career. A careful handling of your affair is most prudent to make an office romance a successful affair.

When dealing with everyday workplace relationships and job situations involving bosses and co-workers it can be a challenge to handle the different personalities and communication styles you may encounter. There are a few relationship tips and smooth moves I’ve picked up over the years to help improve my workplace relationships at my different places of employment and to get the upper hand on the challenges of interpersonal exchanges. I’d like to briefly touch on one that I consider to be my best.

The Mirror Technique:

Be the “man in the mirror”  and people will immediately feel comfortable talking to you. Here’s how you do it. When someone comes to talk to you, whether it’s the boss or another co-worker, stop what you are doing as quickly as possible. Ask for more time if necessary so as to give them your full attention. Then the smooth move is this; Immediately mirror the persons posture and position (Whether sitting or standing) and make immediate eye contact. This is a killer smooth move that most people will not even realize  you are doing and will immediately set them at ease. The fact that you stopped what you were doing will also give the impression that you think they are important and what they have to say is valuable. Eye contact locks in the connection and, lastly, a big smile seals the deal.

If you do this on a regular basis, they will always feel comfortable talking to you and getting your advise and will many time tell you things that they would never tell the other employees. I do this on a regular basis and believe me it works! Check out my website at www.prelationships.com for more tips and advice on improving workplace relationships.

Did you know that love does NOT conquer all?

You see, often people get married with the idea that their “chemistry”
or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s
obvious that this isn’t the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little
secrets and take some sound marriage advice before getting married.

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot:

Tip #1 - Continue dating

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become
stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That’s why
going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something
about “dating” that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and
can even bring relationships out of a rut. While on a date, you also put more
effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on
a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for ideas? Spend
the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.

Tip #2 – Delay is often better

It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year
or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those
who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many
emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore
someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone
for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn’t romantic. It’s gambling.

Tip #3 – Always express your love

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each
other because they ‘assume’ their partner already knows what they’re thinking.
When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner.
Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they’re the greatest person
in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want
to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When
they’re feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super
supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise
them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?

Tip #4 – Take time to understand your partner

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, “I just don’t
understand him/her.” So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about
your mate’s profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything
about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation
about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do
you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don’t
need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest
your partner in life and you’ll grow closer as a result.

Tip #5 - Answer the BIG questions

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history
of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is
because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married.
I guess people think they’ll be able to change their spouses after marriage
and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances,
religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could
end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals
in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or “I love you’s”
will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each
other ‘inside-out’ BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

About the author:

Michael Webb is the author of “1000 Questions For Couples” the most
comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married.
Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them,
household work, personalities, the future and much much more. To learn more,
visit: 1000 Questions For Couples

After chatting with some high school friends who have been close friends down through the years, I asked an interesting question concerning their relationship issues and here are their responses. The question? What is the secret to their lasting relationships?

Ok, Here’s what I’ve gathered from their responses:

1 ) The friendship must be a true friendship based on love, trust and honesty. This kind of summed it all up for me.

2 )  Family values that are instilled in us play an important role as well.  They learned to maintain relationships from watching their families.  This is deep! Parents, take notice of how you handle your relationships. Your children are watching!

3 ) Those in the relationship must not be interfering or minding each others business.  The busybody syndrome is the number one killer of relationships. Know where to draw the line and DON’T CROSS IT.

4 ) Listening to each other and offering advice when asked; without being judgmental. No black robes here. Always remembering that the tables could be turned. Those shoes they are walking in could one day be yours. Understanding and overall acceptance are important keys.

5 ) Not infringing or taking advantage of the friendship. This is often the case when friends enter business relationships. Relationships are strained when friends expects “freebees” or special treatment above what the service provider is able to accommodate. Likewise, the same thing happens when a service is provided and the level of professionalism is reduced because, after all, “he’s my friend”. By all means, Never, Never, Never borrow or loan money if you know that it will destroy your relationship if one party or the other does not fulfill their obligations. Avoid this pitfall by all means and treat your friend with the same level of respect and courtesy as you would anyone else (if not more).

6 ) Communication! Keeping in touch regularly is the simplest way to achieve a lasting relationship. Learning to communicate in different ways (phone, email, text, snail mail, etc..) and for different reasons (birthday, anniversaries, holidays, special events, and “just because” days) keeps the relationship alive.

7 ) Keeping each others most intimate secrets. The true sign of loyalty in a relationships is the ability to keep things to yourself. The worst wounds that a person can obtain are the wounds of a close friend who tells your secrets. Be loyal and keep it to yourself.

8 ) Keeping it real, and never being phony. Be consistently you and don’t try to be anyone else. Relationships that last are built of the character of the persons involved. If you’re character is unstable so will your relationships be.

9 ) Relationships thrive in secure environments. Having each others back, and being committed to doing them no harm are the ingredients for a secure environment. These two factors must be demonstrated on a consistent basis before either party will let his defenses down. So do all you can to cultivate this environment and your relationship will thrive.

10) Being willing to step up and give a pull up before they mess up! and being able to accept one when we need it. This is pretty self explanatory. Be there for your friend when they need it and allow your friend to be there for you. Not being afraid to confront or to be confronted in situations is a true sign of a mature and lasting relationship.

Starting your relationship off right and building a healthy relationship often means scoring high on the first date. No matter who you are - first dates are ALWAYS a challenge. To ensure the best possible experience for everyone, here are 20 dating tips for guys to keep in mind on that first date. Most of this is pure common sense, but you’d be surprised how often men forget about this kind of stuff - or just do things without thinking about the possible implications. You may have more or you may have a different opinion. If so, let us know.

1. Don’t be late
The fastest way to make a poor impression on a first date is to be late. If something beyond your control causes you to be late, then give your date a phone call to let her know. Be accountable and respect her time.

2. Don’t forget to brush your teeth and be clean overall
Nasty teeth are one of the biggest turnoffs imaginable so definitely make sure yours are clean … and that the rest of you, and your car, etc. are clean, too. Be cognizant of your breath especially! Hygiene is important.

3. Don’t show up with flowers
I’ll probably take some heat from women on this one - but I think that showing up with flowers on a first date is just wrong and possibly pathetic. It can make you seem overanxious … or it might set the woman’s expectations artificially high in the future. Its best to wait on the flowers until a relationship is definitely moving forward.

4. Don’t overdress or underdress
Some people say you can never be overdressed - but you definitely can. Dress appropriately for your age, and for where you are taking your first date. Remember what you wear speaks volumes about who you are.

5. Have a plan for the date, but be flexible about it
This is first date tips 101. Have a plan but be flexible. The more carefully you plan something, the more likely you are to become concerned if things deviate from the plan … so just go easy, and focus on getting to know her … and having a nice evening together no matter what the situation. No matter what happens learn to laugh about it and move on. Never focus on the negative.

6. Don’t drink too much
Drinking too much on your first date with a woman is likely to make her think that you are either an alcoholic or that you are just a major party person. A better plan is to stop after several drinks. Of course, if she is drinking like a fish, you can go with the flow. Know your limit! Stop before you get there.

7. Don’t talk about yourself too much
Talking non-stop about yourself is the biggest first date-killer in the world. A better approach is to get your date talking about what she likes, and then you can figure out what you might have in common.

8. Avoid discussing previous relationships
Never discuss prior relationships during a first date. If she asks, then keep your response very brief and polite about your ex.

9. Don’t discuss religion or politics
Religion and politics are two of the most sensitive topics you can discuss with anyone - so your absolute best bet on any first date is to avoid these topics. And if you cannot avoid them, then tip-toe … which means don’t speak of them in a judgmental fashion.

10. Don’t forget to LISTEN to her
You won’t have to listen to her AFTER you’ve had sex with her, so at least listen once - during your first date. (Just kidding!) Seriously, being an attentive listener will score you HUGE points.

11. Don’t take phone calls or respond to text messages
Your date deserves your undivided attention - whether it is your first date or not. Don’t disrespect her by taking cell phone calls or reading or returning text messages during your date … it is just rude!

12. Don’t eyeball or flirt with other women
Women are extremely sensitive to eyeballing or flirting with other women - so be careful not to do this!

13. Be a gentleman but don’t go overboard
Being a gentleman means opening the door for her … letting her order her meal first … and the like. Just don’t go overboard with it.

14. Don’t forget to compliment her, and don’t go overboard
You definitely want to say at least one nice thing to her during your date - but don’t be overly complimentary because it will make you look overeager. The safest thing to tell her (once) is how nice she looks - right when you pick her up or first meet her.

15. Don’t order something drastic for dinner compared to your date
Skip the pork ribs, or the crab legs - don’t order something that requires too much work or mess … as it won’t turn on your date. Don’t order food that will prevent you from carrying on a conversation and by all means remember your manners.

16. Don’t be too judgmental
Sometimes people are just a bit nervous on that first date - so be careful not to form your opinions about her too quickly. That said - do trust your instincts … I’ve absolutely learned that in the past!

17. Don’t ask her to pay for the date, or for her “half”
Being cheap is the quickest way to relieve yourself of the responsibility for a subsequent date.

18. Don’t be rude to anyone during the date
Be nice to everyone - including the restaurant staff, the valet, EVERYONE … otherwise you run the risk of being viewed as rude (whether situationally-justified or not).

19. Don’t assume too much about your possible relationship with her
A first date is just that - so don’t decide that she is going to be your next wife. Just take things slowly - and one step at a time. Don’t be too presumptive about a possible relationship.

20. Don’t try to have sex unless you are sure that is what you both want
Unless she is giving you unequivocal signals that she wants to sleep with you, don’t push for sex. Sometimes women want sex on a first date but generally speaking, it’s not the best approach, and you could end up freaking her out by being too aggressive.

Keep these first date tips in mind and you should end up having a nice time and a better chance at a second date.

Got more..then let us know. We need all the help we can get.

Remember MAC!

How often we find ourselves in a work environment where we are surrounded by people we would not normally choose to be around. But for the sake of the job we put up with them and set ourselves to deal with it. The tips I am about to share with you are the relationship tips that helped me no only get through those situations but to succeed and prosper in spite of them.  The key to my success was remembering MAC.

You might ask who is MAC and what’s his significance in my work place? Well the answer is that MAC is not a person, it is an acronym for three vital ingredients or virtues that will guarantee your success in the workplace.  MAC stands for Motivation, Attitude, and Courtesy. When properly employed, these virtues will set you apart from all your peers and help you to survive the day to day challenges you face dealing with your co-workers and bosses. In addition, they will open the doors and put you in line for promotions and additional leadership roles.  The sky is the limit when you put these three ingredients to work.

Check back with us soon as we discuss each one of these virtues individually and in detail and provide you with the necessary steps to put these virtues to use to ensure your success in the workplace.  I have used these to my advantage for years and you can too.  Just make up your mind that every day you’ll “remember MAC”.