pRelationship

I have talked to many people who are in the throws of a relationship problems or a relationship that is on rocky ground and the one common thing I recognized is that people have allowed the situations to destroy their sense of humor.

They have the tendency to take things way to seriously and allow minor relationship issues to be treated as major catastrophes. Instead of laughing at the little things that come to annoy and irritate them,  they get super serious and expend all their energy trying to eliminate them.  Like the person who sees a fly in his house and immediately uses  every thing he can get his hands on in an attempt to kill the fly.  Eventually he has ruined his house, broken his furniture, injured himself, used all his energy, and spent his valuable time to kill a fly that will probably die on it’s own the next day.

Sometimes time has a way of handling these little minor issues. So learn to laugh a minor issues and see the humor in everything.  This will keep your stress levels down, your productivity up, and prevent you from destroying your relationship over something as minor as a household fly.

The other thing I learn as a child was that people love to be around you when you laugh and no matter what a clown does, it’s hard to stay mad at a clown.  So keep  a smile on your face and learn to laugh.  It’s healthy and leads to healthy relationships.  It reduces unnecessary stress and it’s contagious.  You start laughing and before you know it others will be laughing with you.  So develop a good sense of humor, don’t take yourself so seriously, and remember “Everyone Loves a Clown”.

With so many people claiming to have the answer to relationship bliss, it’s difficult to know what advice to take. With articles offering conflicting advice and magazines spouting unrealistic or impractical suggestions for making a relationship work, it can be more than a little frustrating for all the singles out there. But people should always keep in mind that taking relationship tips is only going to work if the relationship itself is right.

If two people are simply incompatible, no amount of advice is going to change that. For that reason, relationships work best when the two parties acknowledge what they deem important. If you and your partner have similar goals both in the relationship and life in general, then those small pointers about how to create a romantic dinner for two might actually come in handy. Otherwise, it’s wasting good advice on a bad relationship.

Approaching women doesn’t have to be difficult. You might think that because there are so many different situations where you could approach a woman but these situations share a number of common elements. It’s possible to address all these common elements with a few basic techniques that will give you the relationship help you need.

First you must recognize that anytime and anywhere is the right time and the right place to meet a woman. Don’t wait for the perfect scenario, it may never happen. Be ready to seize the opportunity. It may only come around once. The door to your perfect relationship may never open until you knock.

Remember, your goal is simple. You must initiate a conversation, build a trustful connection, and get her vitals! That’s it. Don’t try to do too much at one time. Keep it simple.

Always have an icebreaker ready and be observant and careful to find something you can give her an honest compliment about. Always follow a compliment with a question to get her talking about her favorite subject (Herself).

Once you break the ice with a woman, you need to get her phone number to ensure future communication. This is a stress point for many guys but it doesn’t have to be. When it comes right down to asking for her number, always be confident and direct. Use simple, straightforward language, make eye contact, smile, and tell her you want to see her again. Use a business card if possible to exchange information. Tip: Get a cell phone number and not a business number if possible. It’s just that simple.

Practice as often as possible and remember, you don’t have to follow through with it. Just get the experience so when the women of your dreams appears you’ll be ready.

If you’re having boyfriend problems you’re not alone.  It you are like most other females you will probably admit that you totally do not understand what is on his mind or what he is thinking a lot of times. He might even seem distant at times and his communication with you might even be limited to the point he may possibly be keeping secrets from you.

Your sneaky suspicion may tell you that there is a chance for a third party, a more attractive woman, to come in the relationship and steal your boyfriend from you.

Guys are notorious for looking and letting their eyes wander to other women that are just more attractive than you and it’s difficult to keep them in restraint.  Some of them even watch pornography but this doesn’t mean that they are not interested in you. Before you jump to conclusions, consider that it may just be that your relationship is just in the rifts because of something he’s going through or other difference between you and him.

The bottom line is if the love isn’t there anymore, that may be the main cause of your boyfriend problems. You may want to do a love check to determine if you are giving him the love he needs but may not ask for. With so many potential causes within the relationship, there is no single way to prevent all these boyfriend problems. If you have been in the relationship for quite some time already it’s probably best to get some relationship help in resolving the relationship problems and saving the relationship.  Don’t lose hope, there are simple relationship tips to use and even ways to give him what he really wants from the relationship.

When dealing with everyday workplace relationships and job situations involving bosses and co-workers it can be a challenge to handle the different personalities and communication styles you may encounter. There are a few relationship tips and smooth moves I’ve picked up over the years to help improve my workplace relationships at my different places of employment and to get the upper hand on the challenges of interpersonal exchanges. I’d like to briefly touch on one that I consider to be my best.

The Mirror Technique:

Be the “man in the mirror”  and people will immediately feel comfortable talking to you. Here’s how you do it. When someone comes to talk to you, whether it’s the boss or another co-worker, stop what you are doing as quickly as possible. Ask for more time if necessary so as to give them your full attention. Then the smooth move is this; Immediately mirror the persons posture and position (Whether sitting or standing) and make immediate eye contact. This is a killer smooth move that most people will not even realize  you are doing and will immediately set them at ease. The fact that you stopped what you were doing will also give the impression that you think they are important and what they have to say is valuable. Eye contact locks in the connection and, lastly, a big smile seals the deal.

If you do this on a regular basis, they will always feel comfortable talking to you and getting your advise and will many time tell you things that they would never tell the other employees. I do this on a regular basis and believe me it works! Check out my website at www.prelationships.com for more tips and advice on improving workplace relationships.

Thinking about marriage or getting serious in your relationship? Here are three things you must know about yourself and about your partner if you’re serious about taking the next step.

1) The first thing you need to know is your temperament and personality style and that of your partner. A simple relationship compatibility test will do for starters.  It’s important to understand what things excite you and what things excite your partner. You need to know what motivates you and your partner so you don’t spend your time pushing buttons that don’t work and expecting your buttons to be pushed. Everyone is different and you must be able to adjust yourself to your partner’s temperament without getting frustrated. If you are a person who likes drama, romance and classic movies you need to know if your partner has the same taste. They may like action, adventure and sci-fi movies that excite them. Knowledge is everything. If you know it, then you can deal with it accordingly and not take it personal if your partner doesn’t appreciate your movies. Then you can properly balance your activities so that they are enjoyed by both parties. A good book on this subject is “Personality Plus” by Florence Littauer.

2) The next thing is a good understanding of your learning and teaching styles and your individual focus levels. Everyone doesn’t learn and teach the same way. There are many people who are active learners and teachers and find it much easier to absorb information what they are active, moving, or stimulated in some way. Many times you find these people with the TV on or playing music while they read or study and always fidgeting with something. To some they may seem hyperactive but to them they are just doing what comes natural for them. Others will require total silence and stillness in order to focus or concentrate. They have a hard time dealing with distractions while they are engaged in something. So it’s important to determine what your learning style is and the style of your partner so you don’t irritate each other. It may be that you need separate rooms to study in or a nice pair of headphones so you can avoid distracting each other. Whatever you do, don’t try to force the other person to convert to your style. It just won’t work.

3) Lastly you must know your love language and the love language of your partner. People express and receive love in different ways. Many great healthy relationships are ruined because the partners don’t understand the love language of their mate. The five love languages are best described in the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman:  Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. In order to express heartfelt love and commitment to your mate you must speak their language. Expressions of love in a way that they don’t understand are simple a waste of time. If you learn to speak and understand the unique languages of love and know what language your partner speaks you can effectively express your love as well as feel truly loved in return.

Nowadays, it can be a scary thing entering into a relationship. After all, many of the hot spots for meeting fellow singles include the bars or online personals. But the news is increasingly filled with stories of people that were put into dangerous or compromising situations through these kinds of meetings. That alone can be enough to scare off any single woman from actively seeking out other singles.

But women shouldn’t be scared off the dating game entirely. They just need to be smart about the way they meet and date other singles. While many magazines offer dating advice such as what to wear to the first date, the best dating tips for women are those that help keep them safe during the dating process. To that end, the best tip is to use common sense. If you get a bad feeling about someone, don’t pursue it. You’re better safe than sorry. In a similar vein, if you do arrange to meet somebody, make sure it’s in a public place and that somebody knows who you plan to meet and where.

Maintaining a strong and healthy relationship isn’t easy for most couples. After a certain amount of time it can be difficult to remember that your sweetheart needs to be treated with all of the same respect and courtesy simply because you have become used to their presence.

Though the tasks that fill each day often leave little time to place any real emphasis on the status of individual relationships it may be helpful to take the time, every once in a while, to air out any reoccurring issues or even just to give praise where praise is due. Remember that even the most romantic and deeply in love couples may still need a little love help from time to time. Addressing any relationship problems that may be occurring in your relationship before they become too deeply rooted to solve can help keep you and your partner happy for the rest of your lives.

Phase One: Snatching Time

Obviously in order to give your relationship the full attention it deserves you may not to place a few things on hold for a day or two. Trying to work around your occupation or any other actions which may intrude upon your concentration should be set aside as much as possible.

Be sure that during the time you plan to devote to attending to the needs of your relationship, whether that length is an hour or a week, which you will not be interrupted. The reason for this strict breaking away from everything else in your life is that one simple distraction can completely ruin a train of thought. Once you and your partner reach a point of open communication it could be very harmful to your progress to endure constant interruptions.

If you find that your life is simply too busy to take a large portion of time away it can still be productive just to set aside a couple of hours. Remember that the main idea in attending to your relationship is that you care enough to make sure that everything is healthy and strong between you and the person you love.

Phase Two: Checking In

Once you and your partner have found a way to seclude yourselves from the world and are both comfortable you may find that the conversation drags a little without the influences that your daily life can bring. Beginning by asking your partner about how they feel in general, on a daily basis can be a great way to get things started. Urge your sweetheart to discuss their feelings, for good or bad, so that you can get a good idea of how they are feeling.

Remember that checking in on your relationship does not mean that you will necessarily find giant, horrible problems that have been building up under the surface. It may be that after having an open discussion with your partner that you find the complaints are minimal and for the most part your relationship is tip-top. If this is the case you can use the time to reconnect, go out and have some fun together as perhaps you have been unable to do for a while. Always keep in mind that where your heart is concerned it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Phase Three: Identify and Plan

During the course of your conversation your may discover some issues that either you or your partner have had for some time, but have been unattended because you have both been too busy to truly take a look at the problem.

When these issues come up in the conversation it is important that you each maintain a healthy and relaxed attitude about what is being said. If either you or your partner should become hostile or defensive you may want to take a break until a calmer state of mind can be reached. The point of such a discussion is not to place blame, but to strengthen your bonds and anger will not help you reach this goal.

After discussing and agreeing upon problems which can be worked on by either one or both of you it is important to map out a plan for how these changes will be made and how you will keep track of the progress, depending upon the severity of the issue. Understanding that making such changes will benefit you and your partner by strengthening your relationship is important, rather than taking on each issue as a personal failure.

Phase Four: Agree, Relax and Reacquaint

Though it may take some time and compromise to reach an agreement, you and your partner are both capable of solving just about any problem that you share. Once the problems and solutions have been discussed and agreed upon it is important not to neglect a sort of cool down for your efforts.

If after experiencing such an intense situation you and your partner should simply return to your daily grinds you may find that some unhappy feelings of resentment or negativity follow you home and taint the entire experience. Checking in on your relationship should not promote negative feelings, but it can be difficult not to feel this way when the entire experience seemed to be just that.

For these reasons it is important to set aside some time after you have accomplished your goals to relax and enjoy each others company. Take the time to reconnect and allow for some real detail in the conversation, which you may normally skip due to time constraints. Enjoy taking the time to do some of those things which you love to do, but seldom have time for with each other.

Many couples find that after working on their relationship problems and then continuing on with their getaway in order to spend some quality time together, that they feel like newlyweds. Reconnecting with each other through both productive and playful activities can help you to feel closer to your partner than you may have in years and this feeling often lasts well after the actual event.

Just as in most of other aspects of life, leaving anything unattended for too long may allow it to become dusty, stale or even ruined. Take the time to do a little spring cleaning in your relationship and enjoy a happier rest of the year together.

Alison Sardelli