pRelationship

Let’s begin with a question that really gets to the heart of the matter. If most of us have never experienced either giving or receiving Real Love, how do we learn to recognize it and how do we begin to make the choices that will bring it into our lives? This can happen for all of us if we follow these four simple process steps to Real Love relationships.

Step 1.  TRUTH

Only when we set aside our getting behavior (getting people to like us) and our protecting behavior (Protecting ourselves from being hurt) and tell the truth about ourselves can we create the opportunity for others to see who we really are.

Step 2.  SEEN

Only when we are willing to step out and be seen for who we really are will others be willing to do the same. Real people attract real people.

Step 3.  ACCEPTED

Only when we are seen for who we are can we feel genuinely accepted and only then can we believe that other people truly care about our happiness and well being.

Step 4.  LOVE

Only when we tell the truth about ourselves, especially about our mistakes and flaws, can we feel unconditionally accepted and loved. Then and only then can we share the love we have with others and participate in a loving relationship.

As you learn more about the characteristics of Real Love, begin to tell the truth about yourself, and experience the giving and receiving of unconditional acceptance, it will become increasingly easier for you to recognize and find Real Love.

Believe it or not, of the 2 million marriages to be performed this year, more than one-third of them will end in divorce or annulment.  Even sadder still is the estimate that about 30 percent remain together - unhappily.

Indeed marrying the right person and maintaining a honeymoon romance is no easy matter. Even when  glaring incompatibilities exist not even the wisdom of Solomon could persuade lovers lost in white heat to abandon their plans to tie the knot.  So if you or someone you know is in love and about to take the plunge, here is a quiz that I found that may help to predict how things will work out. Whatever the outcome, you still may need some marriage tips and advice to ensure a healthy marriage.

To take the quiz answer True or false to each one of these questions.

1. We will have courted for less than six months before we marry.

2. We are both over the age of 21.

3. We have mutual friends of both sexes.

4. One of us does not desire children, so we won’t have kids.

5. There’s a big difference in our levels of education.

6. We are both religious.

7. Our parents and friends approve of our marriage.

8. We are both free of sexual hang-ups.

9. Our income is enough to live on without outside help.

10. We have broken off temporarily three or more times

11. We are close to each of our parents.

12. We both were popular among our peers when we were young.

13. There are fewer than one in twenty divorces in both our families.

14. We get along with our inlaws.

15. We showed obedience toward significant adults when we were young.

To tally your score give yourself 1 point for every response that matches yours.

1. False  2. True  3. True  4. False  5. False  6. True  7. True  8. True  9. True  10. False  11. True  12. True  13. True  14. True  15. True

If you scored between 12 and 15 points - You chances of a blissful marriage are good.

If you scored between 7 and 11 points - You have an average grasp on what it takes to make it work.

If you scored between 0 and 6 points - You may have to work hard in your relationship in order to keep it healthy.

For a glimpse of what the future between you and your love one might be, a marriage compatibility test is a humorous and most times fair take. There is no question that relationships change with the passage of time. There is also no doubt that as far as relationships go, marriage is by far the most important — the big one. A marriage is an eternal union between two people. This is why it is important to determine that the two of you are, for most parts, compatible with each other.

But the results of some marriage compatibility tests do not always carry the true sense of the future. Just because a husband is a fan of football and his wife prefers to watch the cooking channel — the facts do not suggest definite failure and eminent doom. However, there is no question that a couple will find living together if they happen to share certain common interests.

For instance, a marriage with two people who enjoy going on adventurous trip will have better avenues for the couple to express themselves than another marriage between an introvert and an extrovert. And in the category of temperaments, two hot tempered people will be less likely to enjoy ‘happy ever after’ bliss than a union with varying tempers.

These days there are many sites that offer various ways of assessing your compatibility. Compatibility tests are common features of magazines and tabloids (found right after the article on getting over a break up. Different opinions are given to what the perfect merger between two people should entail. A man who enjoys throwing his socks on the fan will probably not be a good mate for a woman who takes pride in the orderliness of her home.

For the more daring, there are astrologers who are willing to peer into your universe and inform you of whether your stars are aligned right for Utopia or just poised on the brink of Armageddon.

In the end though, whilst marriage compatibility plays a role in the future of marriages it is not the yardstick by which marriage successes are judged. The fact that a test suggests that you might be partially incompatible is no reason to begin considering how to break-up. It is not impossible for two hot tempered people to live together and therein lie the unique advantage of Marriage compatibility.

By being able to foresee the areas where you might have compatibility issues you will be able to prepare or adjust to the scenario when it happens. If you know your wife will get depressed because of your flying socks then you can consider an alternative, like doing without socks.

Whatever your decision is, there is no denying the usefulness of marriage compatibility tests, and the eternal joy that can be found in a successful marriage.

This question is a common one in today’s modern world — how to break up with someone gracefully. The truth is there is little you can do to ensure a completely graceful exit. The break-up is made even more difficult when the person whom you are leaving happens to still be (or is convinced that he/she still is) in love with you.

But whilst break-ups might prove to emotionally charged affairs, it is possible to make an exit as graceful as possible by adopting the following break-up advice.

Do it personally. Breaking up over the phone or email is not only cheap, it also really isn’t fair. After sharing a relationship of some length, you owe it to the individual to break up in person.

How you break up is just as important as where you break up. Avoid breaking up in loud places like – say a supermarket. Most people become distraught and highly emotional during break-ups. It is not uncommon for crying or arguments to ensure during the process. You wouldn’t want to do this in a crowded restaurant.

In the quest of how to break up with someone graceful, there is the argument that breaking up in a public place saves you the need for a dramatic separation. But as inconvenient as the crying and arguments might be to you, it is preferable that it takes place.

Stifling emotions is generally not perceived as a healthy emotion and being able to freely express them will prove a long way towards reconciling future possible relations between you and your ex.

Be honest and frank. When you are explaining the reasons behind your need for a break-up don’t announce —“I need a breakup, just because!” Being able to explain the reasons why you want a breakup will not only strengthen your decision but provide closure and understanding for your partner. Remember that breakups involve both parties. If your ex understands why the breakup is happening she will be better equipped for the process of getting over a breakup.

Above all, be calm. Break-ups are painful events. Your partner will understandably be upset. By remaining calm and offering support when necessary you will ensure that the process is done as smoothly and peacefully as possible. And that is how to break up with someone gracefully.

Please – take a moment and think to yourself – what does the term ‘dating game’ mean to you?

This may have a negative connotation to many of you, both male and female, that are still single. But listen when I tell you that THIS SHOULD NOT BE THE CASE!

I know that all of us consider ourselves to be good people, and we all probably claim, ‘I don’t play games.’ The truth is – chances are we all do, in our own way. Games are fun. The dating game can be fun too if you let it. You just need a little perspective.

Here are some ‘must-follow’ tips for women who think they are tired of the dating game:

1. Don’t decide what you are looking for in a relationship before there is even a relationship to speak of – this only sets you up for failure! Life is unpredictable. You may want to find your soul mate, and miss out on an excellent friendship, or vice versa! Just go with the flow, sister!
2. Stop taking yourself so seriously – It’s not, never was, and never will be – all about you and your needs, and your wants, and your future. It’s about you and everyone else in the world.
3. Take advantage of your single situation – You can go anywhere you want to meet people and date anyone you want to. Look at this as an exciting opportunity you have that the unhappily married neighbor may never have again.
4. Try something new – instead of giving up, try something that you’ve never tried before, such as speed dating or on-line love connection sites.
5. HAVE FUN! – If you follow the first 5 rules, this one should be easy!

Follow these rules, and you might become a pro and learn to love the dating game!

When you and your partner start experiencing relationship issues, it’s very easy to start assuming the worst. After all, relationships can be intense things to deal with and it’s not uncommon for people to end up with their heart broken. However, it’s also important to have a clear perspective about your relationship issues, as well. In most cases, all it takes is a little communication to smooth over the rough patches.

A Good Thing

The first thing to bear in mind is that relationship issues are actually a good thing. Any successful relationship will have its share of spats and struggles - this is completely normal. In fact, it’s usually the couples that have no friction at all that are often in trouble, since this means that the couple is not really engaging with each other. When a problem does arise, it’s important to remain calm. A little bit of screaming and shouting is inevitable but in order to really reach a solution, both you and your partner need to approach the problem in a calm manner.

Honesty and objectivity are two of the most powerful weapons to defeat relationship issues. When you’re having a problem, it’s essential that you both be completely honest about how you feel. At the same time, be objective and listen to what the other person is saying. In most cases, relationship problems remain unsolved because the couples simply refuse to listen to each other. Next, make sure that you reach a common solution together. This should be made in agreement with both of you; promise each other that you will do your best to stick to the solution.

While it might seem tempting to brush these relationship problems off, dealing with them in an honest and thorough manner can be very rewarding for relationship compatibility. It’s also a good idea to develop the habit of dealing with all your problems in this way. Not only will that effectively deal with your relationship issues, but the bond between the two of you will also grow stronger.

We all know that infidelity, abuse or criminal activities are good reasons to breakup with your significant other. Society has come a long way in the past 20 years regarding the domestic roles of women and men. Although this progression is positive, people are still getting married when there are good reasons to break-up. Divorces are very costly – emotionally and financially – for more than just the two involved.

Don’t get yourself stuck in this situation! Recognize the reason to break up before it’s too late. Here are some thoughts that you should consider when deciding on taking the next step or calling it quits:

1. Compare the person you are now to the person you were before the relationship began – Were you happier then? How have the other elements of your life changed, such as work, friendships, and family? Do you think you’re better off now?

2. Consider the progression of your relationship with your significant other – First of all, has it been an easy progression? If the first year was rough, imagine what the 10^th year would be like! Next, think about why you started dating each other in the first place. Why did you continue past the first date/week? This may involve things that you had in common or things that you enjoyed doing together. Are these elements still present in your relationship, or has the spark diminished?

3. Imagine your future if you stay in the relationship – Last, but not least, after you think about where you are and how you got there, consider where you’re going? Think about kids, career, retirement, etc. You know what you want for your life, is that what your partner wants too?

I recognize that many couples get divorced too fast, but I think the bigger problem is that couples get married too fast. You should not proceed in a relationship just because you’re sick of playing the dating game or you don’t want to be alone. Take some time to consider these things and see if you have reasons to break up before it’s too late.

Okay, so you finally got the hot chick to agree to go on a date with you – maybe you can pull it off on your own; but just in case you’re not the coolest guy on the planet, I have a two dating tips for guys. Yes, two of the most important dating tips of your life. Perhaps these tidbits into the female psyche may make the first date a little less painful for all those involved.

Big tip number 1 - If you ask a girl on a date – YOU have to plan the date. DO NOT EVER tell her that it’s up to her to decide, or you’ll do whatever she wants. LISTEN! Of course women like to be strong and independent and make their own decisions, but that’s later in the relationship. We need to know that our man is confident, smart and thoughtful – otherwise, he will never be our man!

Now that you understand - when you’re planning the date, don’t be stupid. Most first dates are very awkward to begin with. The two of you probably don’t know each other real well, and believe it or not, she is nervous too. Don’t make it weirder than it already is.

This leads me to…

Big tip number 2 – Go somewhere that you are not forced to make uncomfortable small talk for hours on end! I’m sorry to all you boring traditionalists that think that dinner and a movie is the ideal first date. It’s the ideal 53^rd date! Go somewhere that you can relax and ease the pressure. Regardless of whether she is your soul mate or not, she is definitely going to find a reason to break-up with up with you if she doesn’t feel comfortable on the first date.

Think about these two dating tips guys – apply them, and maybe one day you will get a second date.