pRelationship

The search for Mr./Ms. Right can sometimes be a long and frustrating experience.  Romantic relationships don’t often come by luck but rather, as the cliche’ says, “when opportunity and preparedness meet”.  The sad truth is that opportunities abound but they are often overlooked by the unprepared. Even when potential relationships do not progress as anticipated, many times frustration will cause us to just give up and begin looking elsewhere. However, it would be to our best interest to spend time fostering that potential connection with a possible partner in anticipation that Mr./Ms. Right will soon appear.

If you feel romantic about someone, by all means flirt and clearly communicate that you are interested in pursuing the relationship past friendship so that the other person knows of your interest. Take it slow, but not too slow!  Whatever you do, endeavor to do whatever you can so that the initial excitement and momentum do not fade away. Within that initial excitement and momentum you will usually find your answer.  (Is this Mr./Ms. Right?) Once you have your answer your next steps will be easily determined from there.

Remember these tips for singles who want to be prepared:

1) Always define yourself by who you are, not by who you’re with. Don’t try to be everything to everybody. Just aim to be the best “you” you can be.

2) Build your confidence.  Men and women alike are attracted to confident people with high self-esteem. Lack of confidence is easily detected by potential partners.  It gives off the vibe that you aren’t ready to fully enjoy a new relationship with someone because you aren’t yet content with yourself. To help build confidence, you can read Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

3) Know thyself, don’t fool thyself! Take the time to know yourself, develop your personality, and learn to like yourself. These are important skills to have before seeking a mate. You’ll be better prepared and equipped to approach a new partner with more to offer.

4) Invest in yourself. You might want to think about taking a self-esteem seminar, or maybe a workshop about building relationships. There are so many  books to read on relationships and dating that there is no excuse for ignorance.  Check out the website www.prelationship.com where you’ll find relationship tips and advice and lots of step-by-step instructions on approaching men and women, making the transition from friendship to romantic relationship, and ultimately finding the elusive Mr./Ms. Right.

Self-esteem plays a major factor in the frequency of your dating experience.  If you are looking to date successfully you need to increase your confidence level.  Increasing your confidence and self-esteem takes effort. Some things are easy to change, while others will take time and lots of practice. Remember, “Nothing can be achieved without trying”.  Unless you feel good about yourself, the only way you will attract someone is through an online dating service. Even then it’s likely that the person you attract will soon discover your true feeling about yourself.   Follow these dating tips to give your confidence a boost.

• Are you Prepared? Establish whether you’re truly ready to meet someone new. If so, then proceed. If not, take your time.
• Know your weaknesses. - Make two lists. The first is a list of  all the things you are not comfortable with about yourself. Be brutally honest. The second is a list of  things you think people may not like about you. Get a second opinion, too. Include the way you look and the way you dress. Things you can readily change.
• Take short term action. Change the things you think you can do better. By changing the most basic aspects of your looks, lifestyle and regime, you will instantly feel more confident. You will have a new you.
• Reflect - Take a good look at the new you. Ensure you are comfortable with any changes you make.
• Take long term action. Make sure you are in shape or attempting to be. If you are dieting or exercising, remember to be patient as these changes will take a little while.  Start to change the habits and routines that drag you down. Your confidence will grow as you feel better about yourself and others will sense it.
• Change your associations. If you associate with negative people or people who criticize you, lose them fast. Start doing the things you wish you had always had the courage to do, like a hobby, sport or society. Then find people who enjoy the same things. Surround yourself with like minded people as often as possible.
• Change your attitudes. Learn to enjoy the smaller things in life and give yourself time specifically for these things. If you like to cook for friends, then start having dinner parties. Don’t wait for others to invite you out.  Stop accepting second best. Start making yourself the first priority. Learn to like and love yourself for who you are and what you want from your life. Do not allow negative family comments to influence you in any way.
• Broaden your perspectives. - By looking and feeling good about yourself and widening your horizons, your life will begin to change for the better and your confidence levels will go up. Be selective about what kind of person you really like. And by the same token, talk to everyone. The more people who are interested, the higher your confidence levels. Make conversation with the nice people you meet along the way. Become sociable and look good at every opportunity. Be your own best advert.
• Start dating. If someone asks you out, accept. Set yourself some life goals as well as romantic goals. Other people love to be associated with driven and goal-orientated people. Confidence breeds confidence. Be proactive and ask someone out. Just do it, and accept freely that some people will say no. Many will also say yes. Remember that your confidence levels will become sky high by people saying yes to you. This will happen when you select the right kind of dates, so keep a realistic approach to dating. Walk away from anything you don’t like and instill a positive mental attitude in everything you do.
• Keep it going. Stick with it and just keep going. Don’t go back to what there was before. That’s over.

So you’ve decided that you want to settle down and get serious about your relationship. You may be looking for someone who just may be around throughout your lifetime. Here are a few dating tips and things to keep in mind to make your journey a little easier.

1)Set realistic and achievable goals. Make your intentions clear. Maybe you want to make two or three new good friends in the next year.  That’s a good place to start.

2)Define your criteria. What exactly do you want? Make a list of things you want in your soon to be partner. Be specific and thorough.

3)Know your limits.  List your non-negotiables, the things that just wont tolerate.  Don’t be afraid to draw the line.

4)Interview well, ask good questions and wait and see if their actions match their words. Remember time will tell if the person is really who they pretend to be. Take note of any signs of contradiction.

5)Dont compromise or settle (even if you’re bored or desperate, you’ll be sorry you did!).

6)Be truthful, even when its uncomfortable, better now than later.

7)Set your boundaries regarding money, men, and all things sacred!

8)Don’t be selfish in your approach. Give as much as you get and make sure it flows the other way too!

9)Relax. Take your time, no need to rush. Don’t be in such a hurry to make things work.  Getting to know a new friend is fun and should be savored, and trust is built over time

10) Most of all, be real, be yourself, and have some fun!

And remember, great relationships, including friendships, begin within! Be happy and enjoy your life. Don’t wait until you’ve found your friend to enjoy yourself.  Enjoy yourself and let them join you while you enjoy them.