pRelationship

Understanding why marriages fail can alert couples to their own unique relationship vulnerabilities. The more information you have to help you identify potential marriage problems the easier it will be to address them.

Here are five reasons marriages fail and 5 marriage tips to prevent your marriage from going down the same road.

1. Some  marriages fail because  they  started for the wrong reasons. Therefore,  for this marriage to survive, you must learn to separate the person you married from the reasons you married him/her. You must focus on breaking the negative associations and see the person you now call “husband” or “wife” for who they really are.

2. Some couples have grown apart over the years and they no longer share any common interests. Therefore, you must make the commitment to keep your marriage/relationship a priority and not let life and competing priorities  get between you and your spouse.

3. Unresolved conflicts and deep emotional wounds can shatter the fabric of your union. Therefore, you must be bold enough to have those uncomfortable discussions to make sure important issues are resolved before they go underground and begin to fester. Seek professional help if necessary to keep things moving in the right direction.

4. One or both parties can unconsciously repeat unhealthy relationship patterns derived from their family-of-origin. Reflect on your parents and their relationship and decide you want to be different from them in your role as a husband/wife or partner. Each day make a conscious effort to stop negative family-of-origin patterns.

5.  The marriage or relationship can be built upon unreal expectations that cannot support the realities of a committed relationship. Therefore, we must examine the expectations you hold about marriage and share this with your spouse.  We must take every opportunity to discuss any differences in perspective that may exist between you. In addition,  we should take a close look to determine which expectations feel realistic and which are likely to buckle under the day-to-day realities of life.

The above list captures some of the most common, essential reasons marriage problems arise and the preventative measures needed to keep your marriage or relationship healthy.

It is usually assumed that the job of keeping the relationship fresh and alive is the responsibility of the man. Many women are unsure about what they can do but it’s really simple. Here are some marriage tips and relationship advice for women to keep it fresh and alive.

Ladies, if your attracted to a man why don’t you ask him out to dinner? If your a married woman ask your husband for sex! Why don’t you buy your mate something just because you love him? What I’m trying to say ladies if its a two way street. Why does the man have to make the first move?

Date often. Women shouldn’t mind asking a man out for lunch/dinner. Call his cell phone while he’s in the house and ask him for a date while you are in the house with him, i.e. in another room or downstairs out of sight. This works wonders and gets the job done. You really shouldn’t have to ask him for sex-it should be an automatic. Just wear something sexy and set the mood. He’ll know what’s up.  Now if you see something that you think your man would like or you would like to see him have, just get it.  That’s spontaneous gift giving that show real love and appreciation.

Ladies, here’s something men really find sexy.  Buy your man a red rose just because and make it your business to set a day aside at least twice a month to treat him out to dinner and a movie and let him know you appreciate him.  Ladies, just like we want them to show us they appreciate what we do for them, they need it also. And ladies, if you are afraid to ask for sex just get on it when your in bed I’m quite sure he won’t mind. They actual like it. Trust me.

Role playing on dates is another good one. Acting like you don’t know each other and like your meeting for the first time is fun too. Remember, even though you’re married to that person for years you really don’t truly know that person.  You only know what they want you to know even though you’re living under the same roof.  You will be amazed at what you might learn from your mate.

Most men cheat because they are not getting what they want at home. So when they step outside the relationship the other woman is giving them the 20% that the 80% woman won’t. That’s why its best to switch things up and be that 20% woman when he needs it. Just to show him you can be a woman with two faces.

The whole goal is to always have fun from the beginning to the end, because when the kids are grown and out of the house you still have to keep each other wanting each other. That’s your man and your biggest goal should be to have fun keeping it fresh and alive at all times.

Intimidation by definition is the fear or threat of the negative use of power or control against you. The insecurity of many  lead them into the condition where they have these fears and are threatened by their mate or partner.  Here are a few marriage tips to help you avoid being intimidated by your partner.

Remember, whatever the case may be whether it’s higher income,  more education, better skills, better family background and status, physical size and strength, the list goes on there’s not reason to be intimidated.  But the saying  says “perfect love cast out fear”. If you have proper love for your mate or partner and you are SECURE in your shared love, i.e. you know he/she loves you and would do nothing to harm you, there will be no reason for  intimidation.  Instead there should be celebration when the partner excels and succeeds.

My advice is always to ensure that the roles of both partners in a relationship, especially marriage relationship,  are not tied to an income level or anything else that is subject to change. Rather it should be predetermined prior to the marriage, and best to be based on the unchangeable.  I recommend the biblical roles. The Man is the provider and the Woman is the nurturer. The term “Provider” does not only refer to money, husbands provide other things essential to a marriage such as leadership, protection,spiritual covering, etc… Likewise the term “nurturer” does not mean door mat, maid, servant or any  other demeaning title. A man or woman who knows there place in the relationship and is secure in his relationship will not be intimidated by their partners success. For more information visit our website at www.prelationship.com.