pRelationship

I ran across a great article from one of my favorite media experts on relationships, Bob Grant.  It’s entitled “She Admires - He Cherishes”.  It really drives the point across about what REALLY turns a man’s fancy and what really makes a fulfilling relationship. Read and enjoy:

“What does a healthy relationship look like? Some people believe that this means that two people engaging in a mutually respectful relationship. On paper that may sound good. But to be honest, there’s no passion in that kind of safe and sterile relationship. A relationship that is full of passion has many characteristics. There is one in particular that I wanted to point out.”

Note, one  major key ingredient to a fulfilling relationship is passion.

“The best relationships don’t focus on equality, but rather on two people complimenting each other. This is like two pieces of a puzzle. Each one needs the other to be complete. If you want the type of man that makes you feel special most of the time, then I’d like to make a suggestion. Forget trying to get him to talk about his feelings all the time. Stop asking him questions that are designed to make him reaffirm his love for you. Instead, for the next few weeks focus on pointing out anything he does that you are impressed by.”

Note, the key is focusing on giving to get what you want.  Give him admiration and he will cherish you.

“Talk to him about anything that he does that you feel is special or kind. In other words, look for ways to show your admiration for him.If you do, you’ll stand out in his mind from any other woman he has every dated. And here is the reason why. Most women are very observant early on in a relationship because they tend to emote emotions. If you didn’t know, a man feeds off of that emotion, and for women it’s quite effortless to do this when she’s interested in a man. What happens in most relationships is that each partner begins to take the other for granted, and each wonders where the romantic spark went.”

Key Point!  Men feed off positive emotion. Especially when it’s in response to something they have done or something that relates to them.

“The truth is that relationships often die due to neglect. If you want to revive your relationship, try this. Whenever he does something you like, don’t just acknowledge it - show your emotions. I’m not asking you to lie or pretend you like something that you don’t, but I am saying this, “Don’t hold back your emotion when you like something he does.” When you show your admiration, he’ll be reminded why he pursued you at the beginning of your relationship. As those feelings get stirred up in his heart, you’ll soon see that he will want to cherish you all over again.”

Remember, show and tell and you’ll get and receive.

Many women are so easily caught up in conversation about day to day things and the event of the household that they fail to share the most important things with their man. As a result of this oversight, many men become uninterested and numb to the constant dialog of their woman. So my advice for the woman to keep the relationship fresh and on track, it that it’s important for woman to share these 3 things regularly with their man. If they don’t, sooner or later he may find someone else who will.

1.   He wants you to share when you’re proud of him…  If you didn’t know this already, men really like to show off.  Just be sure it’s something you really do like because if you praise him, you’ll likely get more of it.

2.   He wants you to share when you’re upset, and let him know what he can do to help…  The important thing is to give him a task that he can do to help. If you just want him to listen - tell him.  Don’t expect him to “just know” that is what you need.  A man often feels like he’s being weak just sitting there while you’re hurting.  He wants to fix it.  Ask him to listen, and tell him how good that makes you feel.

3.    He wants you to share when you’re excited and happy…  If more women only understood how important it is for a man to be able to make you happy, it would change the complexion of many a relationship. Remember, men aren’t nearly as intuitive as your girlfriends are.  Men learn by watching your reaction. A good reaction (full of nice happy feelings) means do this more. A bad reaction (when you cry or get upset) means don’t do that again.

Yes ladies, men really are that simple….

Most women wonder about this at some point. It’s true that men aren’t nearly as transparent when it comes to their feelings as women are. Women typically see no problem with wearing our hearts on our sleeves and telling the man they adore just how much he means to her. If you’re with a man who keeps his feelings to himself and you’re unsure whether or not he’s fallen in love with you, here’s some great relationship advice for women. There are simple signs in a man’s behavior that will give you insight into what’s going on in his heart. If you spot any of these, rest assured he’s likely to be just as wild about you as you are about him.

1) He spends as much time with you as possible. When a man is in love with a woman, everything else in his life pales in comparison to that. He’ll have a new focus and that focus is her. If the man you adore is always trying to squeeze in as much time with you as he can, he’s already hooked. If your guy has excuse after excuse for why he can’t spend time with you, he’s not as into you as you are into him. Men in love don’t try to avoid being with the women they adore. It’s that simple.

2) You know the other important people in his life. Although most women are comfortable introducing every man they date to their friends and family, most men aren’t. A man is much more likely to save that privilege for a woman he’s really serious about. If you’ve met his family and you’re friends with his friends, take heart. It means more than you might imagine. He feels close enough with you to share the important folks in his world with you. That’s a very promising sign of not only his feelings, but where the relationship is headed.

3) He’s more interested in you than himself. Even though this is one of the most telling, it’s also the most subtle. When a man is still in the falling in love phase of a relationship, he’ll generally go on and on about himself. He’s doing this, subconsciously, to impress the woman he’s dating. He wants to ensure she knows everything positive and alluring there is to know about him. However, once a man starts to fall in love his focus changes. He’ll be much more focused on the woman he loves. If your guy is asking more and more questions about you and your life, he’s feeling a strong emotional connection to you. Pay extra special attention to the conversations the two of you have. If you’re his favorite topic, he’s in love.

4) How often you hear from him. One of the ways to know when a man is in love with you has to do with how often you hear from him. If a man has fallen deeply in love with the woman in his life he constantly wants to be in touch. He’ll call whenever he has a free moment and will do almost anything just to spend a few moments with her. Many women take on the belief that they rarely get phone calls from their man because he’s too busy. The fact of the matter is men do call when they are in love. If he’s not calling and if he’s coming up with multiple excuses for why he can’t spend time with you, he’s likely not nearly as interested in you as you are in him.

5) He’s always looking for ways to make your life easier in every way possible. Does your boyfriend want to make your life easier in every way possible? Does he go out of his way to do small things that he knows you enjoy? If he does, that’s a clear sign that he loves you.  Although we’re all taught to be independent, it’s enjoyable and touching when the man in our lives takes care of things for us. Anything from making you coffee in the morning to helping fix a leaky faucet are all things that a man in love will be happy to do for the object of his affection. If your boyfriend doesn’t seem terribly concerned with making your life easier, that’s not a sign that he cares deeply for you.